Post: #1

If a girl gives you two options to make a decision on, is she controlling the frame and leading?

Specific example is choosing where to go on holiday, she says how about Dubai or Portugal. I say not Dubai as was there two months ago, maybe Lisbon though.

Ill be making the final decision. But don't know if giving her too much frame / leadership.

I could say no to both and say were going somewhere else instead? I do actually want to do Lisbon.

Post: #2

(04-13-2019 12:45 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  If a girl gives you two options to make a decision on, is she controlling the frame and leading?

Specific example is choosing where to go on holiday, she says how about Dubai or Portugal. I say not Dubai as was there two months ago, maybe Lisbon though.

Ill be making the final decision. But don't know if giving her too much frame / leadership.

I could say no to both and say were going somewhere else instead? I do actually want to do Lisbon.

If I were you I'd tease her saying how about a third place, somewhere that she might find not exciting and tease her more and more about not wanting to go to lisbon or dubai, but then agreeing on lisbon because it sounds like a good idea. I don't know. Cheers.

Post: #3

I’d like to think of the frame, leadership,... etc as spectrum .
Does she make decisions every single time ? If no, then you might let her to make it once or twice .
Everything is life is a spectrum .

Post: #4

(04-13-2019 12:45 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  If a girl gives you two options to make a decision on, is she controlling the frame and leading?

Specific example is choosing where to go on holiday, she says how about Dubai or Portugal. I say not Dubai as was there two months ago, maybe Lisbon though.

Ill be making the final decision. But don't know if giving her too much frame / leadership.

I could say no to both and say were going somewhere else instead? I do actually want to do Lisbon.

You are in her frame. She is deciding what your options are, you are following and making a small decision based on the two she gave you.

I would say only if these are your two common travel spots, or you had previously narrowed down to these is she not holding the frame.

Still, if you want to go to Portugal just go, but make sure that the next decisions are yours (hotel, activities, timing etc.)

Post: #5

Holidays is a "big decision" financially wise.
I had girls pitching a holiday ("Let's go to XYZ"). This is not frame yet, because it's a pitch.

BUT
If you agreed on a holiday and she says Dubai or Portugal, then you are in her frame.

The way you wrote it, it was in a "pitch mode". This is the time to come up with other ideas (like @lonewof1992 said), yet it is acceptable to to let her "make the choice" (like @Anchor Man said).