Post: #1

This will probably be the most beta thread I've ever started but I feel this subject needs to be discussed and dissected.

I like to discuss relationships I have with women with a select handful of other women I'm close with. I like to get their take on things. Gives me some insight. I actually use this as a way to get them into bed as well.

So I have this one girl that I talk to regularly. 1-2 times per week. We've slept together. I SNL'd her at a party one time. She won't give it up when I get her alone and try to escalate but she booty calls me out of nowhere for a night of hot sweaty sex.(I'm not complaining) She only tends to do that when she's fighting with or recently broke up with her boyfriends.

We've gotten to be close the past few years and I talk about anything with her just like I would with my guy friends. She's kind of a tomboy but very pretty. One of the guys type of girl.

I expressed interest in her a long time ago. I told her I wanted to be "with her" or exclusive, together ....whatever you want to call it. She's just a cool chick to hang out with. We vibe very well and always have a good time together.

I know. I know.


She turned me down. Saying that I wasn't right for her. OK cool whatever. I'm not heart-broken or anything. And I'm definitely not sitting around holding my cock waiting for her.

So she moves on from boyfriend to boyfriend filling in the blanks with sex with me. She invites me over for sex when she's upset and crying. That's the routine.

So I discussed this girl with another girl I'm close with and she said, "Ohh that's easy ...you're her rock". Usually I would take that to mean Beta Orbiter, father figure or something similar.

If there wasn't sex involved I'd call the "relationship"(cough cough) pathetic. Very emotional tampon-esque even

What is your take on the concept of "being her rock"?

Post: #2

I don't know if I'd call your current status with her "Rock", it's more of a... "Dildo"?

Given that you are fucking her occasionally and you are not exclusive or anything, it seems like a fine situation. It's certainly a pity that she rejected your offer earlier and went on to whore herself around, but remember that game can only help you adapt to other people, it can't change them. If she thinks that riding the carousel is better than taking it to the next level with her best friend and sexual partner (which is fiendishly hard to find nowadays, I might add), tough luck.



Right now, things are almost ideal. Ideal, because no one is being hurt or deceived and you're both getting something out of it. Almost, because you two (because of her craziness) have certainly missed out on something that could have been even better. It's Beta to say that but, hey, this is a Beta thread anyway

Just keep being her Dildo and enjoy the nice vibe while it lasts.

Post: #3

Just keep fucking her but always have other options. That way, if she ever decides to jump off the carousel, you don't have to be the herb she lands on.

Post: #4

I find this fine. I have this relationship with two girls who are now living in two different parts of the world. I will skype them from time to time and we will exchange our opinions and connect on a deeper level (less fluff). While a lot of you might call this beta and whatnot, I consider it a healthy thing to have. I treat these girls as my friends and despite having emotions on the past for both of these girls, I never let myself get into a relationship party because I didn't let my guard down and also due to my displeasure of being monogamous.

The benefits of getting an honest, trustworthy (emotional) view on things from a female perspective is golden. When you are fucking a girl, she has too much invested in the relationship for you which taints any sort of honest opinion/perspective you get. I am constantly learning about women, I am fascinated by them and while I consider myself utmost observant, it is always good to get feedback. I believe that you can be "the rock" but only if you don't shit where you eat. The distance factor helps but honestly, if you have an array of girls lined up and you appreciate what you have, you shouldn't be the one to sabotage things by escalating it into a relationship. Of course though, these are the women who most guys would see as relationship material so obviously it comes down to the man and how willing he is to commit into a relationship based on his lifestyle, options and pre-disposed position towards relationships.

Odds are she knows this already and she doesn't want to jeopardize this and shes playing the game, using her options.

Reading your posts you seem an experienced member and I'm sure you know the answer to this already and just want a second opinion; just don't become complacent and let this affect your relationships with other people male or female. Also, I would like to add, there is a difference between pure attraction and years of simmering attraction building up. Lust vs. comfort/trust. Lust will always be the ingredient keeping things spiced up and exciting.

Post: #5

I'm very interested what the residents experts are going to tell you in terms of how to achieve your goal, cause I think it's a goal that most of us have never had.

WIA

Post: #6

Interesting, I wonder why she says you "aren't right" for her, but yet your other female friend says you're her "rock", something seems amiss to me? You say she's a cool chick, but maybe she's "damaged goods" like so many other women in our culture, if you're a good dude, you're there for her, and you have sex with her, what else does she need for you to be compatible? Being as "RooshVForum" as possible, I'd be willing to bet the "alphas" on this forum would diagnose this as her getting "pumped and dumped" by more "alpha bad boy" types, then she comes crying with her tale between her legs to you, and as her "rock" you are always there for her, fortunately you get to ease her pain with your cock, otherwise you'd just be a "beta orbiter friend zoned, emotional tampon".

Post: #7

(06-02-2013 02:07 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Interesting, I wonder why she says you "aren't right" for her, but yet your other female friend says you're her "rock", something seems amiss to me? You say she's a cool chick, but maybe she's "damaged goods" like so many other women in our culture, if you're a good dude, you're there for her, and you have sex with her, what else does she need for you to be compatible? Being as "RooshVForum" as possible, I'd be willing to bet the "alphas" on this forum would diagnose this as her getting "pumped and dumped" by more "alpha bad boy" types, then she comes crying with her tale between her legs to you, and as her "rock" you are always there for her, fortunately you get to ease her pain with your cock, otherwise you'd just be a "beta orbiter friend zoned, emotional tampon".

I think it's money related. The guys she dates make in the $200k range. She can pull guys like that easily with her looks. I think it's a classic example of a female overestimating her worth. She wants to step up into that lifestyle that they dangle in front of her. Her typical relationships last about 3 years then they just fall apart.

I try to explain to her that in order for relationships to work both sides have to benefit from it. And there's nothing she can give them that they can't buy for themselves. I think it's finally starting to sink in. She sees the wall coming at her fast.

Post: #8

what will you do if one of these years she wants to suddenly be "exclusive" with you?

Post: #9

(06-02-2013 02:54 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

(06-02-2013 02:07 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Interesting, I wonder why she says you "aren't right" for her, but yet your other female friend says you're her "rock", something seems amiss to me? You say she's a cool chick, but maybe she's "damaged goods" like so many other women in our culture, if you're a good dude, you're there for her, and you have sex with her, what else does she need for you to be compatible? Being as "RooshVForum" as possible, I'd be willing to bet the "alphas" on this forum would diagnose this as her getting "pumped and dumped" by more "alpha bad boy" types, then she comes crying with her tale between her legs to you, and as her "rock" you are always there for her, fortunately you get to ease her pain with your cock, otherwise you'd just be a "beta orbiter friend zoned, emotional tampon".

I think it's money related. The guys she dates make in the $200k range. She can pull guys like that easily with her looks. I think it's a classic example of a female overestimating her worth. She wants to step up into that lifestyle that they dangle in front of her. Her typical relationships last about 3 years then they just fall apart.

I try to explain to her that in order for relationships to work both sides have to benefit from it. And there's nothing she can give them that they can't buy for themselves. I think it's finally starting to sink in. She sees the wall coming at her fast.

She wants a man with money but can't keep him. She then feels insecure and goes back to the one person she believes loves her unconditionally which is you.

You are not her "rock". You are her last resort. She is keeping you around by having sex with you.

If she doesn't find what she wants in a man, in the time frame establish by her, she will seek something more serious with you.

These type of girls are very smart about how they keep a man. She knows that all she needs to do to keep you (a great man with no money in her mind) is sex. She gives you what you want to make sure that when she falls you will catch her.

In my opinion. Move on. Classic Pro-Gold Digger.

There are many ways a girl can game a guy and this is one of them.

This is from my personal experience:

I was messing with this girl and she knew that I was a player. I used to tell her about my current girlfriends and all. We used to bang here and there.
One day it hit me, after 6 months, that she actually was getting what she wanted all along. She wanted to be with me and by providing with her "friendship with benefits"
she was actually achieving just that. I was blinded by that fact that we were just "friends with benefits", but in her mind she was accomplishing her goal.

She obtained my cock more than she should had by playing the "friends with benefits" card.

The closest a player will be to a balance relationship is a "friends with benefits".

Girls game too.

Post: #10

Doulos nailed it. She uses you as an emotional tampon but gives you the bare minimum of sex to make sure she doesn't lose you completely.

Now, it's fine if you enjoy this situation, but personally speaking, I would never have it. Either a girl puts out when I want it or she's out the door.

Post: #11

(06-02-2013 06:20 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Doulos nailed it. She uses you as an emotional tampon but gives you the bare minimum of sex to make sure she doesn't lose you completely.

Now, it's fine if you enjoy this situation, but personally speaking, I would never have it. Either a girl puts out when I want it or she's out the door.

This. The first thought I had when reading this post was that it appears as though you're at her beck and call, happy to provide comfort and support at a moment's notice. How would her hamster react if you were unavailable the next time she came calling?

She's just smarter than the average lizard and neo-friendzoned you ages ago.

Post: #12

Once, just once, when she booty calls you, tell her, "I can't tonight. I'm hanging out with a...friend." Or, "I've got plans."

Listen to the awkward silence. See what happens next and report back. She'll either find another tampon/dildo or chase after you.

Post: #13

(06-02-2013 06:48 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  Once, just once, when she booty calls you, tell her, "I can't tonight. I'm hanging out with a...friend." Or, "I've got plans."

Listen to the awkward silence. See what happens next and report back. She'll either find another tampon/dildo or chase after you.

Do not tell her why you can't see her. Just say, "Not tonight." If she asks why, continue to tell her, "Not tonight." If that doesn't drive her nuts nothing will. But you don't owe her an explanation. Fuck that.

Post: #14

I specifically like saying, "I'm hanging out with a friend." It creates even more uneasiness and drives the hamster faster.

Post: #15

She's an emotional vampire. Ricky Raw from the rawness wrote about this extensively.

Quote:In movies like Blade and shows like True Blood, there are often “pet humans” who hang around the vampires, letting them feed off their blood, but the vampires never fully turn them into fellow vampires. They just keep them around to feed on, stringing them along with the promise that they will eventually become vampires. The humans are so grateful to be around the exciting and seductive vampire and so desperate to eventually enter the vampire’s inner circle that they keep letting the vampire feed on them at will, in hopes that one day the vampire finds them worthy enough to fully accept into his or her inner circle and convert into a vampire.

In the meantime, however, the vampire will be feeding on plenty of others, and these others the vampire will either convert into vampires and put into their inner circles immediately, because they find them more exciting than the pet human, or just kill them dead, because that person isn’t the type who will voluntarily agree to be a pet human and a long-term food source.

The vampire usually never plans to make the pet human a vampire or take the pet human as a permanent mate. That’s why while he’s stringing the pet human along and feeding on the pet human for days, months and years, he’s also still feeding on others, and even letting some of them become vampires and enter his inner circle while the devoted pet human is still waiting.

Quote:Narcissistic supply can be different things to different people. Something that is a major type of narcissistic supply for me may provide absolutely no narcissistic supply for you, and vice versa. It’s important to understand the preferred form of narcissistic supply for the person you’re dealing with. A big problem, however, is that many guys out there don’t understand the major forms of narcissistic supply for the average woman: flattering attention.

http://therawness.com/reader-letters-1-part-1/

Post: #16

-Stop calling her first or texting her
- Be unavailable every once in a while ala dude3737 or AIB
- Bang other girls
- Dont talk about her other relationships
- Enjoy her for her. All this "where is it going" syndrome is killer for a relationship. If anything, she should want it, not you.

But honestly, this "relationship" will never progress beyond FWB, and if it does it will end like all her other relationships. Sadly, girls like this are tainted by the American syndrome- buy something new every 2-3 years.

Edit- This girl is mistress material, not prime GF material. Or stripper friend who hunts w/you for 3-somes, if thats your style. Treat her as such.

Post: #17

(06-02-2013 06:20 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Doulos nailed it. She uses you as an emotional tampon but gives you the bare minimum of sex to make sure she doesn't lose you completely.

Now, it's fine if you enjoy this situation, but personally speaking, I would never have it. Either a girl puts out when I want it or she's out the door.

The sex is weird. Like I said when I try to escalate I get shut down. But when she booty calls me she's all aggressive. Pouring shots down my throat. Throwing me down on the bed and making out with me hard while undoing my pants. She's very aggressive. It's like she has an agenda to fuck me to spite her boyfriend.

Good times

Post: #18

You're being used. I'd break it off for your emotional health. Men have this uncanny ability to rationalize every situation even the ones we can't control as something "we really wanted". I'm not saying you got raped. But you're doing something you really don't want. You wanted more and you took the consolation prize of being a girls emotional dildo.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be an LTR guy. Game teaches you to go your own way, be your own man. And whether that man is going to be a player or a faithful husband is up to you. Decide what you want in life and if screwing this damaged girl will help that goal, hurt it, or not affect anything.

Post: #19

(06-02-2013 11:02 PM)StealthAlpha Wrote:  You're being used. I'd break it off for your emotional health. Men have this uncanny ability to rationalize every situation even the ones we can't control as something "we really wanted". I'm not saying you got raped. But you're doing something you really don't want. You wanted more and you took the consolation prize of being a girls emotional dildo.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be an LTR guy. Game teaches you to go your own way, be your own man. And whether that man is going to be a player or a faithful husband is up to you. Decide what you want in life and if screwing this damaged girl will help that goal, hurt it, or not affect anything.

I got to agree. I'm saying this because I've been in similar situations. Like one broad after months made an ultimatum one day to either take the relationship to the next level or just be friends. I shrugged and said goodbye.

But willy nilly I was soon seeing her casually while she was presumably fucking other guys. What happens is that even when the girl's using you as a fuck buddy, her interest will wane depending upon what she's got going on. So, if unbeknownst to you, she's found an upgrade and stops contacting you, you're gonna be left holding your dick wondering what happened. It's not good for your confidence, it's not good for your game, and it's kind of embarrassing. Drop this fuckbuddy. At best she's taking up time you could use to pull fresh ass.

Post: #20

Hence why this girl is mistress-material and not GF material. Lets re-break it down
- Not reliable
- Not dependable
- Super sexual and non-sexual.

This is a no brainer. Keep boning her from time to time and forget about her beyond that. Guy hamster= sex is so good, I want to lock her up. Shit doesn't work like that, brother!

As WIA would say "Neurons on blast." Serotonin and Dopamine uptick has made you into an addict. Cut that addiction. Use your big brain to overpower your little one.

Post: #21

I'm in a similar situation right now, girl with bf she never actually does anything with but won't leave because she's afraid. She's banging me on the side, doing all the bf/gf things when he's gone for months at a time, but won't make up her mind.

I think of it as I'm using her, she's using me. Sex is very good, but separate of emotions. The harder you dick her the longer she'll keep coming back. But she's definitely not on lockdown, and trying to lock her down's a waste of time. Swallow your pride. Her loss, not yours, that she's decided "he's just a friend (who I fuck)". From there you can dump her for the insult, or bang her purely for your own amusement.

Mine has a fairly good chance of breaking it off with the current bf in the near future. If she doesn't, I'll keep banging her until I find someone to take her place, at which point I disappear and she can chase me if she wants it. Even if I turn her down, a little bit of role-reversal does wonders for self esteem.

Post: #22

Typically don't believe these stories, and think they often get exaggerated. Like post #17, she's just so crazy about you, but you still calls you "her rock". If true, it is also a statistical outlier (especially if a woman calls you "her rock").

That's like the 9th circle of Friend Zone.

You'd have a better chance convincing people you saw a UFO.