(02-06-2014 01:58 AM)Valhalla Wrote: WIA how do I do this sort of manipulation/assumptive suggestion on the fly without even thinking?
It seems you might have a little NLP in your game too.
Good question, been thinking about it for most of the day.
1) you don't need this kind of game
2) at the core, you believe if one man can do it, another man can
3) people are fragile, women are people, women are fragile
So I generate these "Johnny on the spot" analyses not because i'm the Sherlock Holmes of Vagina, but most girls in my preferred age bracket, 25+, are sensitive to these issues and receive tons of mixed messages from society and media about how to feel.
There are a million things you can notice about a girl.
- her face, her ass size, them tits, those hips- you never mention those things. She might have the pussy in full view, but you've got to pretend not to see it.
- eyes - don't mention how lovely her eyes are, or anything special about them - because that's what every dude goes for. Same with tattoos. You're not being clever.
So what's left?
- odd body parts that she doesn't think guys pay attention to - button noses, ear lobes, dimples, calves (but don't lead with "I've got a fetish for knee caps..."
- her choice in clothes, shoes, and accessories - And you can't be too,"I know you got that from Claire's on sale" cause that will send the wrong message.
- her hair
These are all things that she has control over, that you can "admire" and at the same time insinuate/remind her of her "poor taste" "her lack of cool"
One of the feminine equivalents of creepy is tacky.
It's such a loaded term that hurts and means nothing. But that's the vibe you're trying to project, and she's trying to deflect. She wants to look cool, stylish, fashionable - but while she wears what the magazines tell her to wear - she wants to feel unique.
lol.
"Comfy shoes"
"non-traditional hair cuts"
"avant garde fashion choices"
Very few girls do everything right. Usually there's something off. Maybe her platform heels don't actually fit her, either too big, or too small and her toe claws are hanging over the front edge.
Maybe she's showing toe cleavage with her ballet flats.
But before you start dl'ing the latest issue of Cosmo and Vogue, what's much easier to deal with are
1) her behavior
- unconscious tics - I love the way your nose wrinkles when you laugh.
- conscious actions - If she can't walk in heels, "I love the way you stride through the crowd, you don't look like anyone else"
2) her thoughts and beliefs
This is where OP was trying to go.
She's concerned with her physical appearance, but also her self image and social appearance.
Friends - she wants to follow group think, but not follow it - ripe for all kinds of innuendo
Family - she has one, she wants one, but she wants other things
Career - is she really good enough? how come they can't accept her, warts and all. Other women at her job....
Ex.
"Going to law school in the fall, that's great"
"You don't have any reason to worry about finding a job later, I hear a lot of firms prefer a woman with work experience as opposed to a young one without"
"I bet you love to argue, I'm sure that's what all of your friends love about you"
"You seem like the kind of girl that could juggle both family and career"
"you want to do non-profit work, awesome! I've got a cousin who doe social work, she's so drained after talking to her clients, but in the end, some of them end up doing good"
Your upbeat talking to her about a fucked up decision. Your cheerfully pointing out every bad thing about what she's going in to. You're constantly seeing the good side of a personal holocaust. It's heavy conversation that appears to be light weight and fun.
When you do this, you've got to have a part 2, that brings back the good feelings, brings sex into the picture.
I ask everyone this, guys and girls, friends and strangers, "So what are your other passions?"
It allows a transition to a much easier subject for her to talk about and contribute to.
Most guys ask this question, hoping for some kinda of logical answer.
Sometimes you get something like "Animals" or "being a foodie" - those are ripe to riff off of.
What happens most often is that you get a chick who's never thought about anything - at which point she becomes your canvas.
"you say you don't have any passions, but I bet you're really good at..."
Fill in the blank. Dolphin Trainer, Lube saleswoman, food truck dispatcher, whatever you want to say.
Depending on your vibe, you can easily go neutral and then shift to sexual.
.....
And the key to remember with most verbal game, is that you rarely get obvious and clear reactions to things that are subtle. {you could say all this stuff, and not get what you want out of of it - keep that in mind}
That's the advantage of direct game, of kino, of obvious sexual innuendo - instant feedback.
What i'm talking about is more on getting control of a conversation, leading her through it, milking her for information, trying to understand what you might be getting yourself into - all the while impressing on her that you're sharp and a little dangerous (which is my M.O.)
...
As for NLP, I wasn't necessarily trying to do something like
Man that
blows
Me, I like spaghetti
What the
fuck
Me? I could care less
That's how I understood weasel words. (NLP) I've never tried that, cause I just couldn't believe that something like could ever work. (I mean I believe it's theorhetically possible, I guess)
When I use something like cis-gender, i'm trying to ferret out whether or not she's all XoJane/Jezebel. Does she respond to current buzzwords?
The other half of NLP is wildly descriptive language. I talk like that, cause, I like to talk like that. When I tell a joke or a story, I want someone to be in my shoes and see what I see.
"You know your boy right" - I say this to strangers
"Suited down, rocking a white shirt cause it's afterwork, cuff links in my pocket, cause I know how these nights can be...
So I'm at the spot, broughams in college basketball jersey's looking like the Fab 5, a little of that wacky tobaccy in the air, and I could see bald head security guy with his nose up trying to find the culprits...
Anyway, I see this out-of-place church girl, looking meek and mild, amidst these well seasoned, high heeled, club chicks...."
So to Recap
1. this is extra, unnecessary as there are far more efficient ways to game
2. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I'm looking at a few things, and focusing on very common problems
3. People are big balls of insecurity. You can focus on their strengths and find weakness. No need to uncover some fatal flaw.
4. You can find "interesting things" about her appearance, and make "positive" comments that will unsettle her
5. You can find "interesting things" about her unconscious behavior, deliberate actions, thoughts and beliefs - make "positive" comments and put her in a position that has her "explaining" her position, which might sound really bad when she says it out loud.
6. If you bring them low, you've got to bring them up again. So whatever politics or passion that is fucked up, you can usually find a kernel or something in it to build on. And if you're making her sad, and elating her - you should be attracting her. (so has been my experience, so says the theory)
6. Jargon/Specialized words - Use them to see if she knows them. If she does, you have an idea of what you're dealing with
7. Being descriptive is useful to you and the listener.
Fuck this was long. I hadn't really thought about it until now. Hope it's of some value to you.
WIA