Post: #1

Here's another tough situation. Something happens between your girl and one of your guy friends and of course it comes back to you. And now you're put in a situation to choose between your girl and your guy friend.

It could be about anything but let's just say it's about them hooking up. They both deny anything happened yet they both point fingers at each other for instigating.

How do you handle it? Who do you believe? How do you get to the truth?

Post: #2

(07-15-2014 10:49 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Here's another tough situation. Something happens between your girl and one of your guy friends and of course it comes back to you. And now you're put in a situation to choose between your girl and your guy friend.

It could be about anything but let's just say it's about them hooking up. They both deny anything happened yet they both point fingers at each other for instigating.

How do you handle it? Who do you believe? How do you get to the truth?

Hooking up? Bounce on both. Ultimate betrayal.

Something else, if it's your woman, you side with her, even when she's wrong. Your boys will understand.

You side with your boys, your woman will never forgive you.

WIA

Post: #3

She's definitely gone. My boy may be gone depending on the severity of the situation. Like, let's say he bangs your LTR or something. That's raw. If he bangs a fling, then I could forgive that. Ultimately: friendships are hard to come by, so I might make the stretch and forgive him. But my trust in him would be hurt.

Post: #4

I'd like to think I'm upset at myself. If I had tight game my girl wouldn't stray. If I had my boys respect he wouldn't dare. Either way... AMF!

(Adiós MothaFuckas!)

Post: #5

"Something else, if it's your woman, you side with her, even when she's wrong. Your boys will understand.

You side with your boys, your woman will never forgive you."

Strongly disagree. I'll agree with whoever's right. If that's my friends, so be it. If she gets mad, I'll laugh in her face.

Truth is one of my greatest values. If I can't be true, I have nothing.

If she wasn't an LTR, I wouldn't get too caught up over it.

Post: #6

the truth will eventually come out. if it's a fling I'd think strongly about ending it preemptively. Where there's smoke there's usually fire. and this kind of thing usually doesn't happen in a vacuum. is your friend a player? have they been flirting? does the girl have a reputation for sleeping around?

as far as "what do you do" I don't think you can answer the question without being in that situation, knowing the people and all the nuances. if I've been dating a girl for a few months and she accuses one of my closest friends I've known for a decade of coming on to her, chances are good it's my friend I'll believe. and vice versa. context matters.

Post: #7

Bounce on the girl, there's always another.
Rumors are like stereotypes... they may not be true, but there's a reason they exist.
If the dude has crossed boundaries that shan't be crossed (sleeping with or even coming close to with an LTR of yours) then thank him for showing she's a slut, and let him know youll be coming after him the next time you see him.

Or at least that's how I have always handled it.

Always leave the girl.
Give the dude time to establish space, and regain respect.
You may be upset now, but three months from now you may wanna thank him... or at least be able to talk about a new more pressing issue.


Give friends more leeway, give yourself time to cool off, nix the bitch.


There's always a better chick.

Post: #8

It depends.

I have friends, who told me in absolute terms, that they would be so kind to test my girlfriend and would bang her. They would do this "for" me. While they told me this jokingly it actually betrays a certain understanding of the female psyche - if she bangs one of your friends, she is no LTR material anyway.

As far as real male honor goes - yes - good friends should not even make passes at your girl - that is the code that all should adhere to.

If they have fucked, then you either drop them both or just your girl. Can't really blame a guy if a woman starts a blowjob on a drunk friend of yours. Almost no one would be able to stop in that moment.

Post: #9

(07-15-2014 10:49 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Here's another tough situation. Something happens between your girl and one of your guy friends and of course it comes back to you. And now you're put in a situation to choose between your girl and your guy friend.

It could be about anything but let's just say it's about them hooking up. They both deny anything happened yet they both point fingers at each other for instigating.

How do you handle it? Who do you believe? How do you get to the truth?

So wait, did they hook up or not? It seems unclear.

Anyways, the girl usually has more to gain by lying in these situations, so I may be inclined to give the friend benefit of the doubt. It may depend on how you found out and the other details of the incident though.

One way I've found to get people to admit the truth about shit is to tell them you have insinuating evidence that (or the other person said, in this case) they did something far more outrageous than what allegedly transpired.

Usually, they'll be so eager to get out of this new false accusation that they'll admit to what they really did do, since it pales in comparison to what they're now being accused of.

To make the most of this jedi mindtrick, you use it on both of them individually and in private and see what floats to the top.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #10

(07-16-2014 06:19 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(07-15-2014 10:49 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Here's another tough situation. Something happens between your girl and one of your guy friends and of course it comes back to you. And now you're put in a situation to choose between your girl and your guy friend.

It could be about anything but let's just say it's about them hooking up. They both deny anything happened yet they both point fingers at each other for instigating.

How do you handle it? Who do you believe? How do you get to the truth?

So wait, did they hook up or not? It seems unclear.

Anyways, the girl usually has more to gain by lying in these situations, so I may be inclined to give the friend benefit of the doubt. It may depend on how you found out and the other details of the incident though.

One way I've found to get people to admit the truth about shit is to tell them you have insinuating evidence that (or the other person said, in this case) they did something far more outrageous than what allegedly transpired.

Usually, they'll be so eager to get out of this new false accusation that they'll admit to what they really did do, since it pales in comparison to what they're now being accused of.

To make the most of this jedi mindtrick, you use it on both of them individually and in private and see what floats to the top.

It's a hypothetical situation. I would assume that they did besides the fact of them both denying that anything happened and pointing fingers to cover their asses.