Post: #1

As much as we punish and ignore girls for bad behaviors, its important to reward her for good behavior.

Im spending more and more time with one girl because she s displaying consistently good behavior so far. Im ever on edge about being in a "LTR" so I wanna learn how to keep the dynamics in balance.

One rule I know and gives good results is "show passion, but always less than her. Do it because you want to not because she wants you to"

Some of you cats would say that your simple presence there would be enough, or fuck her well. Thats fine, but once in a LTR it gets more complicated than that. If she s cleaning your house, doing your laundry, iron your clothes, pay for dinner, bring you gifts, should you go to the airport to pick her up and prepare dinner beforehand after she comes back from a 2 months trip?

Its not easy bc if you overdo it you can easily fall into the betatization process and Ive seen how horrible it is. Or the girl can start taking it for granted.

How do you guys reward your girls and balances out the favors? I dont personally know any redpiller who is in a LTR, so I would like to see a few examples here.

Post: #2

yes you should do that (pick her up and make dinner). if you want to.

being red pill to me means doing whatever you want whenever you want how you want it.

as far as rewards, yes your presence and undivided attention is a reward itself.

saying good girl, or hell, "thank you" is also a reward.

you can be as beta as you want as long as your frame is alpha.

part of that is accomplished by being in a LTR with her but also explicitly keeping options open and having a few on the side.

i've learned that my game is almost pure beta once the initial attraction is set. and thats because my true value is inherent and i have to make them feel comfortable and rewarded or they get skittish.

Post: #3

(08-20-2014 10:24 AM)reaper23 Wrote:  being red pill to me means doing whatever you want whenever you want how you want it.

Thank you! I quoted this for truth. You don't need to follow a scripted set of "rules" to be red pill/alpha/whatever. Do what you like.

I buy my girl flowers occasionally. I buy them when I see a bouquet in the grocery store that I really like or just because I felt like buying them. I like seeing the look on her face when I give her the flowers. I DON'T buy them because we just had a fight and I'm trying to get her to forgive me.

I take my girl out for dinner because I like the feeling I get by being a provider. I pick the restaurant most of the time but obviously she has input as well. If she's whining about being hungry and wants to stop and eat, I let her pay.

In closing, absolutely you should reward your girl; especially if you're developing a longer term relationship. You should just make sure to do so on your own terms.

Post: #4

I take her out, to a place I like (she never has complained)

I'll grab tickets to a local venue to see a band I like (she likes the same music so it works).

I'll give her a few compliments without saying "That's the only one you get today, you've reached your limit "

Haven't bought her flowers yet and it's been 7ish months, I'm iffy on that kinda stuff.

Post: #5

I send her cute pictures of baby animals because she loves them.

I touch her.

I give her mini massages. I give her full body massages, sparingly, but when I give her massages, I give her very good ones.

I join her with her friends for dinner or for short trips. I don't join for everything she invites me to, but when I do she really enjoys it.

I treat her to a meal sometimes, when I feel like it.

I bring her tiny gifts. The other day I had put one of her favorite chocolates in my freezer, so I told her to close her eyes. She did. When I came around to face her I told her to open her mouth. She laughed and said "umm" but then opened her mouth. I placed the ice cold delicious chocolate on her tongue and she squealed at the cold, then munched in delight once she realized it was her favorite chocolate. She was very thankful. Funnily enough it was a chocolate I'd saved that she'd given me the week prior.

I take her on mini adventures where she doesn't know where we're going, like a bike ride throughout my neighborhood then down the road a ways to where I know of a private (but accessible) set of horse stables. We walk amongst the horses and I tell her about my friend who used to help take care of one of them, and about my other friend who lives along the horse walking trail that loops through a wealthy neighborhood behind the stables. I show her the beauty hidden down an unassuming dirt road.

I send her very sexual text messages that get us both worked up so that when we see each other it's hot like fire.

Post: #6

(08-20-2014 09:57 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  How do you guys reward your girls and balances out the favors?

The Sixteen Commandments of Poon Wrote:V. Adhere to the golden ratio.
Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you.
Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more.
Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status.

It is fine to reward her with occasional dinners, gifts, &c, as long as you adhere to the golden ratio so she is continuing to give you more than you're giving her.

The Sixteen Commandments of Poon Wrote:VI. Keep her guessing
when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

The other important thing is to keep your rewards unpredictable. Taking her out to the same restaurant each month is a stupid idea; she will get bored and take it for granted. Taking her out to some place new every once in a while, or occasionally surprising her with a day trip or some other fun activity, is a much better way to go.

Post: #7

Same way I reward my car. Take 'er for a spin sometimes, the occasional rub-down, always make sure I fill 'er up.

Post: #8

Ha, it s good reading this. Reminds me that RVF can still be decent people and not just full on dark triad psychopaths

Post: #9

sign up for a tantric yoga class together. Go to the class, go home and have superhuman sex. you're welcome

Post: #10

The overarching thing is that she is in your frame. I like to go on short trips with girls. It makes everything more fun that way, especially if it is new to her. I won't necessarily pay for her airfare (although I have done this for an LTR once), but I will cover rental car, and most food.

Try to do things that you will both enjoy and have a positive experience doing. Also remember that it is the emotional component they value the most. So whatever things you give them should ideally be tied to a strong positive emotion and/or experience.

Post: #11

I give them various rewards when I am satisfied and happy, but with the proviso with the rewards I want to give:
cool travel plans, good restaurants, shopping: lingerie, new heels + wedges, slinky dresses, massages, chocolates.

Menace is A+ spot on -- the emotional component is key. Think about how this scenario works in her head: She's wearing the pricey lingerie, new dress, stilettos, I take us to a great meal. We're talking and drinking and touching each other for two hours. We leave, she cannot wait to fuck me.

Afterwards, she has had a complete emotional, sensual experience, from our shower, getting dressed, putting on the new clothes for the first time, me taking charge of the arrangements for us, everyone noticing her/us when we walk in, great food, alcohol, waiter making sure everything is perfect, lots of touching, mgr comes over to say hi, maybe a walk home, anticipation building further, the elevator ride up with more sexual touching, get inside and ripping clothes off, she is submissive, I dominate her sexually & give her orgasms 1-4x, I come in/on her 2-3x.

The night is basically chick-porn for her but I got to do everything I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted, exactly how I wanted.

Don't EVER do anything you don't want to do. Maybe that's the right working definition of 'alpha....'

Post: #12

I never go on dinners but when I really like a girl, or think it will leave her with a nice impression, I will take her to a nice dinner. Usually the Boat House in Central Park, and make it look random that I take her there and suddenly we easily get a table. Especially younger women who couldn't go on their own. Keep in mind I have done this like twice in the past year, and dont spend over $100.

Post: #13

adding on to what menace said, here is a real life example:

i recently took a 25 year old (i'm late 30's) to a b and b in the country for three days. we went horseback riding. I had wanted to go horse back riding for a while. turns out, she was a competitive rider in high school.

i told her we were going on the trip, but i wanted her to plan it. so she researched for days and came back with five options that met the criteria i gave her for distance, price, quality, etc. then i made the final selections.

she booked the trip with a low limit credit card of mine that i have given her to use when she run errands for me.

we had one good dinner and one amazing dinner complete with chef's tasting menu and wine pairings, which i ordered without even discussing with her, of course.

the rest of the time i fucked her every which way i could possibly muster. bondage, non-ironic use of a riding crop, anal. whatever. a long bath and nap in the afternoon. sunning in the morning on a private deck. road head on the way back to wrap it up.

i paid for everything except the personal shopping she did in town.

who got rewarded?

she lives a dream.

i'm living the dream.

Post: #14

The stories are great. You guys know how to lead awesome life and have great frame. Gave me both suggestions and inspiration.

I internalize the "being red pill is about doing whatever you wanna do", but sometimes what you wanna do IS beta and pathetic. Im not a natural born alpha like some of you, I took the red pill after being pussy whipped like lots of people.

In my beta days during my relationship, I stayed up and talk to the girl until 4am. I bought the plane ticket to go see her, just for her to throw the "Im not having sex with you" at me. Despite that I still take her to a very expensive ice cream place bc I promised her I would and at that time I wasnt a guy who back down on his promises.

Thinking back HARD I would still say I did what I wanted to do, because I wanted to see her, I wanted her to feel good at my expense. But that was pathetic as fuck and I would still hit myself thinking about it.

I want to make sure everything I do now is not blind-sided by my passion for a girl and that it comes from a position of strength.

On this point, when do you guys deem a girl qualified for a reward from you? Sure standard for behavior differs for everyone, but I wanna hear what your girls do that prompt you to reward her.

Post: #15

dalaran:

i feel like rewarding a girl when i know that she is putting forth consistent effort to please me in the ways i want to be pleased. it might take several weeks or months. various little rewards can come early, like a round of drinks, or a home cooked meal. but gifts or trips only when you know the girl is going to behave perfectly.

when a girl who is in prime baby mating form decides to dedicate that peak bloom time to me in my late 30's knowing she will never get kids or marriage out me, thats when i really want to reward them. i know they are (knowingly or likely unknowingly) giving me their prime without any chance of getting anything more than what amounts to an extended affair. thats when i like to reward the most.

or when i know that each step she takes closer to me means the end will be that much harder for her - then i like to reward as well.

dont forget, positive reinforcement as opposed to a reward starts right away from the very beginning. as does the negative reinforcement.

the little secret though is this, it doesnt have to be big money, it doesnt have to be extravagant, the gesture just needs to show some forethought. if you do that, thats the reward they really want. to know you were thinking about them.

but as stated above, make sure it is something that you enjoy as well. win-win-win (your dick is the third winner).

Post: #16

Dalaran, this is not all on the girl. Some of the work you have to do within yourself. Figure out what you want from a girl. What does she do that makes you happy? This may be harder to do than it seems, and you should also try not to be influenced by more experienced guys (also can be hard to avoid).

What I like from girls:

-being fully present when we are having sex; when she is uninhibited and lets her true full sexuality through
-being feminine, sweet, and agreeable
-when she volunteers to do things like cook me dinner or other nurturing activities
-when she dresses well and looks and smells good
-when she touches me with affection (outside of sex)
-when she acts silly/childish (Asian girls are good at this)

Your list may be different or overlap, but figures yours out. When she does enough of these things over time, then reward her.

Also along the lines of what reaper said, the "reward" does not have to be an object or an event/activity. Verbal rewards are also good, especially if they are sincere. Just don't overdo it...think of it as the seasoning for a meal; you don't want to dump it all in there.

Post: #17

(08-21-2014 07:56 AM)Menace Wrote:  Dalaran, this is not all on the girl. Some of the work you have to do within yourself. Figure out what you want from a girl. What does she do that makes you happy? This may be harder to do than it seems, and you should also try not to be influenced by more experienced guys (also can be hard to avoid).

What I like from girls:

-being fully present when we are having sex; when she is uninhibited and lets her true full sexuality through
-being feminine, sweet, and agreeable
-when she volunteers to do things like cook me dinner or other nurturing activities
-when she dresses well and looks and smells good
-when she touches me with affection (outside of sex)
-when she acts silly/childish (Asian girls are good at this)

Your list may be different or overlap, but figures yours out. When she does enough of these things over time, then reward her.

Also along the lines of what reaper said, the "reward" does not have to be an object or an event/activity. Verbal rewards are also good, especially if they are sincere. Just don't overdo it...think of it as the seasoning for a meal; you don't want to dump it all in there.

Menace, your list actually looks just like mine and she checks all of them (excpet that she cant cook)

I want to discuss a bit the bolded part. I appreciate most of the advice from other players though I know a lot of them just wont work for me. I cant sleep with a virgin for a ONS and never see her again like Roosh did in Denmark

On the other hand I need to constantly check against my own weaker self. We all agree that we reward what she does that makes you happy, but that alone is not sufficient criteria.

Back in my beta days, if a girl text me back with one word reply, I would be happy. Now I push for sex or delete number.

If a girl kissed me in front of others for attention whoring and getting back at her bf, I would be happy for days, even losing my sleep.

I went out recently with my friends and a beta paid for a female friend s drink unprompted. In his words it makes HIM happy. The girl herself was uncomfortable. Pathetic.....

My point is that, since my game is still developping (esp relationship game) its hard to tell when a behavior by itself in the given context is praise worthy, and thus I need you guys' opinion. The "trust yourself and do what you want" we so often praise here is very good for solid players, but for lesser men it might as well mean to revert back to their old beta self since being alpha means pushing the comfort zone a lot of the time.

Having said that Im picking my girl up and giving her a treat for sure, on the condition that she wears decent make up

But say, and this is a real possibility, my girl keeps behaving nicely and its due time I reward her, and on some special etc. day she wants to go out or whatever while I have something to do. I WANT to reward her and I know she deserves it. Should I put my business aside and put my girl ahead? These are the grey area of LTR as contrast to short term game.

Post: #18

Short answer: reward her on your time.

That's the thing menace was saying. It's all about your frame. The right frame could make giving a girl flowers every day for a week seem alpha as fuck.

Do it on your time in your own way. Never ever ever let her ask for shit or even guide you. Listen to her and make it thoughtful.

If she makes specific requests ever, my advice would be to next her immediately.

Never give a gift to a girl that expects it or asks for it.

Post: #19

I eat her pussy and ass if she's pleasant to be around.

Post: #20

(08-20-2014 08:19 PM)reaper23 Wrote:  adding on to what menace said, here is a real life example:

Great example from reaper23.

(08-21-2014 04:19 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  In my beta days during my relationship, I stayed up and talk to the girl until 4am. I bought the plane ticket to go see her, just for her to throw the "Im not having sex with you" at me. Despite that I still take her to a very expensive ice cream place bc I promised her I would and at that time I wasnt a guy who back down on his promises.

Thinking back HARD I would still say I did what I wanted to do, because I wanted to see her, I wanted her to feel good at my expense. But that was pathetic as fuck and I would still hit myself thinking about it.

I want to make sure everything I do now is not blind-sided by my passion for a girl and that it comes from a position of strength.

On this point, when do you guys deem a girl qualified for a reward from you? Sure standard for behavior differs for everyone, but I wanna hear what your girls do that prompt you to reward her.

See, you say you wanted her to feel good at your expense. Here's the thing, you cared about her and wanted her to feel good. That's not a problem in and of itself, but when you want her to feel good to your detriment, which ultimately is clear in this case, that's not a good thing at all.

I'm going to add to the excellent list that Menace put forth with some examples of my own. My additions in BOLD below Also, reaper23's comments on some of the other factors involved are pretty key:

-being fully present when we are having sex; when she is uninhibited and lets her true full sexuality through

My girl is uninhibited in that she is fully willing to please me and let herself go. She's not a wild crazy sex girl, but she is turned on by me being dominant and in charge. She finds it incredibly sexy and submission to me is not a forced thing, it's her pleasure. She will rarely directly initiate sex, but I can't remember the last time she wasn't fully willing. Despite not directly initiating sex, she definitely initiates physicality in the sense that she is always wanting to be near me, touching me, resting my head on shoulder, showing her affection for me. Now, she doesn't smother me. That's a key thing, but she is very affectionate.

-being feminine, sweet, and agreeable

My girl doesn't act masculine. She's a high level amateur athlete and she wouldn't think of celebrating a point in a masculine fashion (yelling, hooting and hollering, etc...) that I see other non-feminine women do.

-when she volunteers to do things like cook me dinner or other nurturing activities

My girl regularly invites me to come eat with her whether it's family or friends she's eating with. Not because she needs me to be there, but because she genuinely wants to make sure I'm fed and not going hungry (like when I'm working late). She also offers to pick up food and bring it to me. She offers to help me clean up after BBQs and parties, etc...

-when she dresses well and looks and smells good

While this is definitely something good, it should be a default for any woman I'd think.

-when she touches me with affection (outside of sex)

See above about her not initiating sex much but definitely being affectionate (which leads to sex and demonstrates her utter attraction/emotional investment with me).

-when she acts silly/childish (Asian girls are good at this)

My girl is self-sufficient and responsible, but she is definitely a happy girl who laughs easily/often, and has no qualms with acting like a little kid when having fun/relaxing. I can people watch with her and make up silly stories/thoughts about other people and she will be giggling like a school girl. Very nice thing.

(08-21-2014 08:57 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  I went out recently with my friends and a beta paid for a female friend s drink unprompted. In his words it makes HIM happy. The girl herself was uncomfortable. Pathetic.....

Betas are so disgusting to girls because they are too free with their emotions and they're trying to buy love whether it's with acts, or with money. The girl was uncomfortable because he's pretending to like giving her things, but in fact, he is only giving her those things because he secretly (not so secretly) would love to kiss her ass and one day be able to make out with her or fuck her. They are loose with their feelings, just like a slut is loose with her sex.

(08-21-2014 08:57 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  But say, and this is a real possibility, my girl keeps behaving nicely and its due time I reward her, and on some special etc. day she wants to go out or whatever while I have something to do. I WANT to reward her and I know she deserves it. Should I put my business aside and put my girl ahead? These are the grey area of LTR as contrast to short term game.

There is grey area everywhere. The details are key.

Say she tells you she wants to do something on a special day and it's a week or less notice. You can't really reschedule without it seriously impacting what you have going on. That's a total no go.

You have something scheduled that with enough notice (say a few weeks) it's not a big deal to re-schedule and she gives you plenty of notice and asks you and it's obvious she would really enjoy it if you could make it. Up to you. I think it's a reasonable thing if you're in a relationship.

For example, I'm going on a trip with my girl with a couple of her friends and some mutual friends. She said she REALLY wanted to do it and had done most of the research and wanted to lock down my schedule if I could join her. She started discussing dates and details with me well over 2 months in advance (as well as with everyone else). It's going to be a tough couple of days to take off with my work (because of an event the following week), but because I locked it in so early and it's not a direct conflict, it's not a huge deal.

It will be a fun trip and since it's near my bday and otherwise I'd be working on my bday, I'm calling it my birthday trip and telling her I'm only wearing my birthday suit. She's providing the equipment we'll need and I'm sure I'll help hammer out some additional logistics, but she's pretty much planned the whole thing and put together what will be a pretty fun trip for everyone involved.

Thing is, she knows my schedule is very busy. She asked very nicely and did almost all the research/pre-planning. It will be a cool trip and it's to an area I've never been and has a lot of neat stuff to do. Falls right in line with something I would want to do already, so it is almost a no brainer for me to do it.

Post: #21

Being my girl is a reward.

Post: #22

I've given a few bubble/Epsom salt baths with fresh fruit and their favorite wine.

I like this because they're venerable (being naked while you're still clothed). also, you're able to talk, play, feed her and be sexual. all while catching a nice buzz.

ps fuck her whenever you're ready

Post: #23

By fucking her good

If the bitch ain't walking funny from her muscles being sore or her pussy ain't bleeding.....I'm not fucking her good enough.

Post: #24

(08-21-2014 07:09 PM)Mr. Butterworth Wrote:  I've given a few bubble/Epsom salt baths with fresh fruit and their favorite wine.

I like this because they're venerable (being naked while you're still clothed). also, you're able to talk, play, feed her and be sexual. all while catching a nice buzz.

ps fuck her whenever you're ready

Im stealing this one

Post: #25

The 'she asked for xyz' is a tricky one.

If you're not in LTR or exclusive, then no. Next.

If you are, then, only IF she's earned it 100%, and only IF it's something you want her to have anyway - like a sexy new wrap dress. Whatever it is. A couple bottles of wine. Not a car, obviously.

Agree 110% again with Menace's posts.