Post: #1

Some months ago a girl I know peripherally took to social media to report her domestic violence. The girl is a local model, a legit 9 in her early 20s from a pretty good family. The pictures of the abuse were grotesque. One eye was sealed shut, her face was purple, there were stitches, and an ear was nearly hanging off. It was obvious her new boyfriend (tatted-up and dumb-looking) had done this. She changed her status to single, and removed him from all of her social media.

The post went viral, accumulating hundreds of likes/shares/comments. Many of her friends (all equally as hot and models too) were offering sympathy and people from the wider community were chiming in to support her.

Of course, many misty-eyed white knights filled the comments offering a shiny shoulder, bleating about the "coward" who did this to such a "beautiful princess" - and would she want to meet up to talk about the "bastard" over a bottle of wine sometime, and he would never hit a girl.

I had a problem with her posting these pictures, but it fits in with the exhibitionist nature of women that has been exacerbated by social media. I want all domestic abusers and rapists to be prosecuted by the law, not Facebook.

I would have put money on her running back into the arms of her abuser before the week was out, but because of the amount of attention all of this received and the extent of her injuries I seriously doubted she'd have the audacity to do this.

This week one of my female buddies had liked a new picture of this particular girl and so it showed up on my timeline. In it, she was showing off her "bump". My first reaction was surprise - how could she have moved into a new relationship so quickly (the domestic violence happened only back in September).

But I was wrong, of course, and you can guess who the father actually is.

Tellingly, the comments, likes and shares are flooding in for these new pictures. Hundreds upon hundreds of positive comments and heart emojis, some comments from the same people who were in fits of hysterics about the abuser just a few weeks ago. This is a girl who has chosen a violent thug to be the father of her child, with the stitches barely healed.

Nobody is questioning why she didn't choose one of the dozens of nice-guy, white knights from before. Weird.

This has irritated me for a few reasons. Women (especially those with high SMV) reward abusers. As a single guy dating lots of chicks, I'm privy to many horror stories from women about past relationships and the abuse they received. I used to think these stories weren't true - but I was wrong, some of them are. Women are freely choosing these men. While fat third-wave feminists complain about the Bad Things men do, they should rather be looking more closely into the hotter ones rewarding this bad behaviour ad infinitum. The resounding chorus of approval from all of her girlfriends highlights another problem: that women can do no wrong.

But the main reason this has disturbed me is because a child is being introduced into this toxic relationship.

Post: #2

*Shrugs*

Post: #3

*Also shrugs*

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #4

and the fugly 3rd ass wave of feminazi says that kids dint need father in their lives lol
yes the singles mother are the cancer of society.

Post: #5

Women love bad boys who dominate them roughly. Maybe it's different seeing the case first hand with someone you know and pictures of the busted up face, but this is how it works.

When Chris Brown busted up Rhianna's face, she later explained he couldn't help it, because he was under a lot of stress. Do you think a woman would be that understanding with her devoted beta husband? Ha! A guy like that gets fed to the wolves. A guy who blacks has girl's eye gets undying devotion.

Post: #6

Some girls are trapped in toxic and abusive relationships and no weird SMV theory can explain that. There are many reasons why women stay in such relationships. There are women who have zero self esteem so they stick to guys who treat them the worse cause that's only what they're familliar with and they know they don't deserve anything better. Some are addicted emotionally and completely dominated to the of having no say. Could be plenty of things.

Post: #7

Women like men who fit this persona because those men show up and tell the women what they want which is something modern day men lack:

I want to kiss you.
I want to fuck you.
I want to have slam another girl while she licks you.
I want you to be my bitch.

It works and women love it. It's mental, just like women enjoy being choked in sex and having their hair pulled (assuming they have no past trauma). The amount of women who go for men like the example above is very large.

But there is a gap between this and when a man is physically abusive. The amount of women who stay with a man who is physically abusive is quite small actually.

So I would agree that the "bad boy" persona is rewarded, but I don't think being physically abusive is rewarded, your example is an outliner. A few things could also come into play however, like a woman having a child with someone and having no where else to go, or being afraid of death, but for the modern day college girl we go around chasing, I don't think being abusive is rewarded. Being a "asshole" is rewarded however because you're a challenge.

Post: #8

People will rationalize anything. I saw a similar thing on social media not too long ago, guy gets girl pregnant (she has 3 other kids all from different men), all hell breaks loose after she has the baby, her fucks up her life and leaves her broken and homeless, all her friends show a ton of support for her online (I didn't see anybody offering to pay her rent, however), then when she announces that she's back with the guy all her friends support her strong choice and dedication to work on her relationship. Tons of comments like "Everyone has a different love story."

"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken."

Post: #9

(12-10-2016 12:20 PM)LINUX Wrote:  So I would agree that the "bad boy" persona is rewarded, but I don't think being physically abusive is rewarded, your example is an outliner. A few things could also come into play however, like a woman having a child with someone and having no where else to go, or being afraid of death, but for the modern day college girl we go around chasing, I don't think being abusive is rewarded. Being a "asshole" is rewarded however because you're a challenge.

I know guys sometimes don't like to get into "intellectual discussions" with the girls they're banging, but I sometimes do, because a) it's nice to get a first-hand account of the other team's playbook once in a while, b) I have some game so if she gets turned off by it or thinks I'm a nerd IDGAF and I'll find another chick, which probably turns her on more, and c) it's just fun sometimes.

So, if you talk to any woman you've just banged about what sort of things they like in a guy (you have to have just banged them, though, so they're in that mood where they'll just say whatever and aren't putting up the usual public persona), and you listen to her for more than 5 minutes, the issue of "confidence" comes up. Yes, women are attracted to it, yes indeed. Likely because at the end of the day, despite all the "grrrl power", most women are simply very insecure. About their looks, their job, their skills, their intelligence, how they stack up to everyone else, everything. And you can tell her all day how great she is and it usually won't make a damn bit of difference, and will probably in fact turn her off, because they think they know how they "really" are, so you must be lying to them.

"Compliment and cuddle" is okay in small doses, but as an overall pattern it's a pretty bad plan.

The problem is you also realize that while the lives of so many straight women revolve around sourcing time, affection, validation, and attention from men, they really don't spend very much time at all thinking about what it's like to be a man; at least nowhere near as much time as men spend thinking about the psychology of women.

As an example, you could try this one: if you have a chance ask a girl what the "nature of power" is. What's it about? What's another word you could use to explain what power is about that isn't "power." To me that word is "trust": to have power means at least some people trust you to do right by them and come through for them, at least to the point that they're better off throwing their lot in with you than anyone else, or they discover you're lying.

You're free to disagree with that, but even if trust isn't the whole story I think it's a pretty important aspect for sure. But ask a thousand women what the "nature of power" is in one word and I can pretty much guarantee you that not one of them will pull out the word "trust." I don't think they'd have any more chance of defining "confidence" either. What is a "confident" man? What are his characteristics? How would you recognize one, if you came across one?

If you listen to what they do talk about, you're like oh damn, what they're actually describing is sorta "dark triad" characteristics. Ah! Case of mistaken identity. They don't know what the terms mean. They're just misfiring on the first guy with a bit of asshole game to come along.

And certainly not every guy who runs some asshole game is an abuser or psychopath. I mean, who hasn't run asshole game from time to time? It works!

And yet when you're misfiring all the time, you're gonna misfire on some really bad apples, sure as sugar. The irony is that hotter chicks tend to be more narcissistic and self-absorbed, and so are actually more easily duped, as they seem to believe everyone's thoughts and mental state must be congruent with their own. There are certainly some 6es out there in abusive relationships too, don't get me wrong, but IMO the experience of the "standard 6" is somewhat closer to a man's (at least before the Internet...) and she's more likely to just find it onerous.

Keep in mind that it's common as shit for abuse victims to become obsessed about their experience, enjoy the validation they get from being a survivor, and revel in the narcissistic-supply gravy train. Why would they want it to end? These are some solid "likes" here! Fucked up but true.

And there are other types of women you can read about in the literature who are what're called "inverted narcissists", that is they are narcissists themselves, but they prefer to source their supply indirectly through providing for the primary and accommodating their every whim and batshit crazy desire. They feel empty and hollow in a relationship with a normal person, and when they find themselves in that situation (not for long) they revert back to their usual abusive selves.

There are men like this, too. They call themselves male feminists.

Post: #10

Women who stay with abusers are not "rewarding" them. They are mentally broken women who are trapped in an abusive relationship, whether they recognize it or not. As Linux said there is a big difference between assholes/douchebags/bad boys and abusive people. Women who date the former do so because they are bold, exciting, confident, masculine, and do what they want when they want and that masculine energy gets their pussy wet. Women who date the latter do so because they are scared, psychologically beaten down, or otherwise stuck.

Post: #11

(12-10-2016 02:01 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  Women who stay with abusers are not "rewarding" them. They are mentally broken women who are trapped in an abusive relationship, whether they recognize it or not. As Linux said there is a big difference between assholes/douchebags/bad boys and abusive people. Women who date the former do so because they are bold, exciting, confident, masculine, and do what they want when they want and that masculine energy gets their pussy wet. Women who date the latter do so because they are scared, psychologically beaten down, or otherwise stuck.

I've noticed that OP's posts seem to have this theme from time to time. We all encounter seriously screwed-up women on occasion, but if they're in your life regularly, I'd proffer that it might be wise to do a little reflection on why they keep turning up, to make sure one's own house is in order.

Post: #12

(12-10-2016 01:17 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  But ask a thousand women what the "nature of power" is in one word and I can pretty much guarantee you that not one of them will pull out the word "trust." I don't think they'd have any more chance of defining "confidence" either. What is a "confident" man? What are his characteristics? How would you recognize one, if you came across one?

If you listen to what they do talk about, you're like oh damn, what they're actually describing is sorta "dark triad" characteristics. Ah! Case of mistaken identity. They don't know what the terms mean. They're just misfiring on the first guy with a bit of asshole game to come along.

Women just want a guy who wins.

Think of it like a trial by combat in Game of Thrones. You have to pick one person to represent your interests in the arena. Most people are going to want The Mountain or Jon Jones. Nobody wants Mr Bean.

A woman picks the man who will go out into the world each day and be most effective at achieving something for her benefit. She knows that her lot in life will be determined by the quality of that man. All things being equal, she wants the more successful one.

Of course, modern society isn't trial by combat, and a man isn't just measured by physical strength. There are a variety of traits that a woman will pay attention to.

Confidence is just woman code for a guy who will win against other guys. A guy who knows who he is, not a dupe, strong, can be charming etc.

We should also think beyond that. A woman will be interested in the genetics that go to her children, too. She will want a man who takes her family genetics in a positive direction.

Post: #13

I've tried to work out why this particular episode has disturbed/angered me so much, and I think it's because it's given me a front-row view of two things:

1) The cavalier way a girl can switch from being a victim in the most public way, to proudly embracing the abuser - also publicly - without thinking this is a problem, and with zero shame or self-awareness

2) The reaction of the wider community to quickly conform to whatever it is the girl is feeling (sad about being abused, then happy about being pregnant) with zero questions asked about the actual reality of what has just happened

Post: #14

(12-10-2016 02:16 PM)Tigre Wrote:  Women just want a guy who wins.

If that's the case why do we see so many women who are with guys who are pretty much objectively losers?

http://www.returnofkings.com/94565/10-si...-mentality

Seems like a lot of 'em are operating to a different standard of what a "winner" is. I think a lot simply wouldn't know what to do with a man without the "loser mentality", even if they were fortunate enough to come across one.

(12-10-2016 02:41 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  I've tried to work out why this particular episode has disturbed/angered me so much, and I think it's because it's given me a front-row view of two things:

1) The cavalier way a girl can switch from being a victim in the most public way, to proudly embracing the abuser - also publicly - without thinking this is a problem, and with zero shame or self-awareness

Here is da medicine:

Quote:2) The reaction of the wider community to quickly conform to whatever it is the girl is feeling (sad about being abused, then happy about being pregnant) with zero questions asked about the actual reality of what has just happened

Most people realize that asking any questions would be like taking a slug to the face for absolutely no reward. And there's no faster way for a Western man to become the most hated man on the planet than criticizing a Western woman's actions, or suggesting she take personal responsibility for them. Except perhaps if you're Milo Yiannopoulos.

You will pretty much never be rewarded for it, ever. Not by her, not her friends, not your friends, not anyone's family, not the state...nobody.

And she wouldn't benefit from it, anyway, so even just the reward of "pure" altruism is non-existent.

I take some pride that part of my "mission" in life is helping others. But I'm no Captain-Save-A-Ho. You can only help those who truly want help. And they seem to usually come to you, not the reverse. Sadly, sometimes quiet acceptance and a prayer is the only option that makes sense.

Post: #15

A married woman I was with once told me "Sometimes I want calm. But sometimes...I want you mean. Turns me on"

Another time she called me "egotistical richard", and was serious about it. Jokingly, I said "you like that huh". "Guess I do" was her response.

Of course I would never hit her, but she never left me no matter how bad I treated her. I would classify my rage towards her as abusive. In fact, after all this time, she still sends me e-mails. From what she told me her first husband used to hit her and she still stayed with him, up to a point. My experience is they will take abuse but after a certain point, if the pain is too much, they leave in the end. Yes, she was kind of damaged.

Post: #16

There are some great responses in this thread. Here's my two-cents:

I do believe a perversion of natural female submissiveness can become something of a masochistic streak. In other words, they can, effectively, become gluttons for punishment.

I'm reminded of the following quote from Niccolo Machiavelli's "The Prince":

Niccolo Machiavelli Wrote:"For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her."

Obviously, I don't advocate beating women, but it is interesting to note how little human nature has changed in five hundred years. Women will always prefer to be lead by a strong man, but unfortunately that desire can become twisted by some females into tolerating outright abuse.

Post: #17

Maybe she gets disgusted at the white knights and says fuck it ill rather fuck this lunatic over these losers.

Post: #18

Today a girl adoringly referred to me as a mix of Donald Trump and Idi Amin. This in the context of a friend asking her if I am the type of guy who would hit a woman, and her explaining that I would only punish her with words and put her in her place like she "needs." And this is not even a broken girl, but someone seemingly rather robust and stable.

Being unapologetic and dominant like Trump and unpredictably irrational like Idi Amin seems to be the winning formula with women. In fact it works so well that I'm concerned that I'm turning into a bit of an asshole in everyday life. While women's attitudes toward me have changed for the better, I find it more difficult to get along with both friends and strangers. It's just increasingly difficult to be "nice" the more you see through the bullshit of social conventions.

Post: #19

Her going back to him could have something to do with her father being abusive in one way or another.

I'm not a psychologist so I don't have a real explanation, but I've witnessed firsthand women who had abusive fathers who later on stayed with physically abusive men and even seem to feed off of the abuse and egg it on.

It could also just be that deep down they really want a man who will put them in their place regardless of how extreme. Beating your wife has only been taboo in the west for what, the last 50 years of human existence? In a way, this is natural. Its not natural for women to disobey men without physical consequence, look at the animal kingdom (primates specifically - http://discovermagazine.com/1995/aug/apesofwrath548) for further evidence.

I have multiple exes that I treated like shit (emotionally) because I was over it or only wanted them for sex and they just kept coming back for more, showing more commitment and affection, acting more crazy. Most of us know that that's how it works with women but broken women will push it further and instigate.

A couple years ago a girl I was dating was parked at the bottom of my street as I was coming home from being out with friends, she knew I was out with them, she confronted me in my driveway and got physical and spit in my face, I tried to get back in my car so I could get out of there, she was blocking the door and when I moved her out of the way she completely embellished it and acted like I threw her across the fucking driveway, falling to the ground, flailing around crying and acting hurt. I could have punched her in the face and she would have wanted me even more.

Another girl who wasn't getting her way took my hand in the middle of an argument, closed my fist, and as hard as she could drove her face into it a couple times.

These girls came from fucked up families, were insecure, at times suicidal, and enjoyed really rough sex. They were broken and looking for an authoritarian in their life. They also presented themselves as the sweetest girls for the first few weeks, but could then flip a switch and go mental.

I personally wont judge unless I know all the details when it comes to domestic abuse, it would take a lot for me to strike a woman but that line exists, and a lot of them respect the man more if he hits them when they cross that line. Take that for what you will, I'm not advocating beating women, but this is a display of power and she wants to be reaffirmed that the man has the power, otherwise she'll find another man who does.

Post: #20

(12-10-2016 09:37 PM)aeroektar Wrote:  They also presented themselves as the sweetest girls for the first few weeks, but could then flip a switch and go mental.

Sometimes they can do it for months

(12-10-2016 09:37 PM)aeroektar Wrote:  I personally wont judge unless I know all the details when it comes to domestic abuse, it would take a lot for me to strike a woman but that line exists, and a lot of them respect the man more if he hits them when they cross that line.

This reminds me of the "never hit a woman" bs that women and the white knights believe and shout. I think we all know the clip of that indian bitch hitting a guy live on TV, then he hits her back and 20 manginas white knights jump on him and beat him up (here)

A healthy relationship is that without abuse, and especially without phyisical abuse. I think the line is crossed the moment she dares to raise her hand first, or do something physically like throw something or even spit, like in your example. "Don't hit a woman" bs, how about Don't hit another human being, and if you do, expect to be hit back.

Post: #21

This is often an unrecognized red flag: any time a woman tells you her ex was crazy, abusive in any way verbally/physically, etc, turn around and walk away. She just described for you what she fell for in the past, and subconsciously or not, what she's actually drawn to. She may act all sweet and innocent up front, but you know, somehow, that she will bring the drama.

Post: #22

(12-10-2016 10:21 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:  *Also shrugs*

*Another shrug*

You can't really intellectualise this. There is no logic or rationale to female attraction. Women are attracted to power, that's that. Whether its dangerous to them or dangerous to other people, they are still attracted to it like moths to a flame.

Ironically, I found that the best way to make sure a woman stays with her abuser is to tell her that she should leave him. On an emotional level, telling her to leave is the same as validating her emotions for him, which makes her stay with him.

Since I stopped caring (on an emotional level - I still 'care' on a professional level) about the abused women that cross my path during my work, I've seen that they are actually more willing to leave. When her abused state elicits no emotional reaction in me, it's as if I'm completely negating the manliness of her partner, it puts doubts into her mind.

When I used to plead with women to make the right choice, they made the wrong choices. Now that I matter-of-factly ask them, almost as a side-thought, if they need to see a social worker to arrange a safe place to sleep, then suddenly they actually do end up leaving him.

I'm not sure what the lesson in that is, but it goes something like this: women see your attacking of their abuser as validation of her abuser's manhood - after all, only a strong virile man could elicit such a strong reaction. If you don't attack him, it's like he is a weakling not worth attacking nor condemning, and the thought of her man being too weak to even condemn seems to so horrify them and then they leave.

Post: #23

It's basically Stockholm Syndrome. A lot of blue-collar guys use this type of game.

Post: #24

I think some women continue to reward abusers because these guys pull the "threaten to kill them if they leave or are seen with another man" game.

More often than not, when it comes to this, they should be scared. No restraining order will stop a psychopath - until he does "something".

These bitches won't think of calling the cops on him till it's too late.