RE: Dealing with "Pain"
I think long-term stagnation is worse than an alternating cycle of pleasure and pain, within reason.
Let me explain. I'll start with a story.
I've held the same job for 8 years. When I got hired, it was only months before 2008's financial crash, and I survived a round of layoffs the following year. After the layoffs, the company put on a hiring freeze and there was dark cloud of potential future layoffs, and I was holding onto my job for dear life.
Of course, that rumored second round of layoffs never materialized. But I was so afraid of losing my job that I knocked all my supervisors dead with my stellar performance.
I became indispensable. The most valued member of the team. Got promoted 3 times with huge bumps in salary and bonuses, even with the media constantly bleating about high unemployment, decreasing wages and tiny piecemeal cost-of-living raises.
So what could possibly be wrong in this picture?
I wasn't learning anything new on the job, particularly over the past 4 years. It's the same every day, just with more work. My mental capacities were not growing. I was, and still am bored. I became a corporate drone. Get up at 6 am to get dressed, go to work, put in the face time, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, and go to bed.
Same. Thing. Every. Day.
Thoughts creeping into my head... is this it?
Are the rest of my days going to be the same like this?
I was married at the time, so I pushed those creeping thoughts out of my mind with other thoughts, "my family is my responsibility. It's my job to provide, so do whatever it takes. Put in your face time, get a steady pay check."
Now that I'm single and only responsible for myself, the mental paradigm I'd built in my head quickly fell apart. I lived in a house of cards. Collapsed all around me.
I want to say it is "freeing". But, honestly, I don't feel free yet. There's still my desk job.
I'd become a victim of my own success. I impressed my managers so much they gave me responsibilities no one else could take on. With my mental paradigm shift, my indispensability went from a job security asset, to a freedom limiting handcuff.
I don't suffer from hardship. I live a first world lifestyle. I make good bank.
But I don't have many adventures. I'm not growing. I'm not learning something new every day. My mental capacities are becoming narrower and more limited with the sameness of my work every day. Today is the same as yesterday. Tomorrow will be the same as today.
I am stagnating.
Now, my first half of 2015 was a wild roller coaster ride, alternating between the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs. It was a hell-to-heaven 6 months, with spikes and dips in between. The excruciating pain of getting cheated on, the heartbreak, feeling all alone and isolated from family and friends and a community like this forum.
Getting through the roller coaster drama of a divorce fighting against emotional manipulation tactics, moving to a new address, lawyers, advice from families, advice from this very forum... that was a plentiful dose of pain and pleasure all wrapped into one.
Then my Philippines trip. The apex of my year. So much pleasure. Maybe a little too much.
And I'll tell you what. Those 6 months was FAR more interesting and educational than years of same-thing-everyday stagnation. It helped me grow as a person, and as a man. It motivated me. It lit a fire under my ass.
While things have settled down since, I am riding a wave of personal motivation. I started a business, and working on generating a second stream of income. I have a goal in mind.
I do not want to continue to stagnate.
Stagnation is not living. It is just waiting to die.
Which brings me to what to do next. Sam^3, you and I are thinking on a similar wavelength. No, I don't have real estate properties, but we're thinking of generating enough cash flow to live a location independent lifestyle.
We're thinking the same thing:
Fuck it. Just go.
At the same time, we have to be smart in how to proceed. Just up and go without at least a tentative plan might not be the wisest move. On the other hand, we don't want to go into analysis paralysis mode. We don't want to wait until we're 100% ready... because that probably will never happen.
Sometimes you just got to take a leap. An informed leap.
(This post was last modified: 10-30-2015 09:24 AM by CleanSlate.)
|