Post: #1

While I can't say I'm "new" to the game, I can definitely say I'm still inexperienced. I'm twenty-one, and first got into pickup when I was nineteen. However, for the past two years, I've been so occupied with college related work that I haven't been able to put in any quality time into developing my pickup skills. I would have semesters with 24 credits worth of classes along with multiple extracurriculars to manage, and I would also try my best to have some semblance of a social life on top of it.

Nevertheless, I managed to develop a solid enough baseline of confidence. I no longer suffer from social anxiety or depression, which I used to be medicated for, and I credit a large part of my conquest of those two hurdles to pickup. I still remember my first ever approach. It was in a nearby public library, with this Korean woman who wore a hoody. She was probably quite a bit older than I was. It didn't go anywhere, and felt more than a bit awkward, but it boosted my confidence tremendously. My few initial successes soon led me to become one of the most confident people on campus. I figured that if I was able to muster up the courage to overcome the stigma against chatting up strangers in NYC, much less flirting with women amidst the unfriendly cultural atmosphere set up by 2010s feminism, everything else felt much easier.

My college was pretty antisocial. I soon became a student who professors loved because he'd be willing to speak up in class without hesitance. I soon became the guy my male peers would admire because of the simple fact that I could go up to anyone and talk to them without trouble. Making girls laugh and smile became something that happened even when I wasn't trying one iota. I was at the center of one of the only functioning social circles on campus. I've definitely progressed significantly from being the perpetually quiet, weird kid in high school, who everyone was nice to because they didn't want to be a target in a hypothetical school shooting scenario.

However, I still haven't gotten laid or gotten into a relationship. This doesn't really bother me, given the fact that I went to a school where I simply wasn't physically attracted to 99% of the women (I'm into White or Asian American girls who are at least middle class; my school was a community college filled with working class hispanics/blacks/fresh-of-the-boat Asians). I did my best with the 1% I was attracted to, although that 1% was mostly filled with girls who would be ruled out due to issues not related to physical attractiveness -- some who had severe personality flaws, some who had religious differences, some who were already in a serious relationship, some who I couldn't engage with often enough because of poor logistics / general busy-ness.

I graduated recently (Associates Degree, GPA of 3.9, Pre-Engineering major), and have so much more free time to myself, which makes me really eager to apply my capacity for hard work into pickup. I'm taking a gap year of sorts, because there are a variety of things I feel I need to get sorted out before I finish undergrad.

When it comes to pickup, the most relevant things I'm working on include lifting, improving my fashion (still look like a high schooler in many respects), text game, and honing my skill at cold approaches. My experience so far has entirely consisted of daygame. Soon enough, I'll be taking my first forays into night game.

I'm making this thread to keep a log of my experiences, so that experienced users can give me helpful advice. Inexperienced users can also read through this to learn from my mistakes and successes. Also, when I inevitably get much better years down the line, I'll have a record I can look back to and entertain myself with.

Let's get started!

Post: #2

I think it'll be helpful to start off with describing a few approaches that took place before I made this thread. Some of these took place more than a month ago, so I'll do my best to reproduce them from memory.

1. Background: In the middle of the summer, I paid a visit to a college in Manhattan that will remain nameless for the sake of privacy. It has a 66% female student population, and the girls there are just ten times better than the ones at my crappy little community college. Comparatively, I'd see more attractive girls in a few seconds than I would in a whole week at where I went to. I engaged in indirect approaches - my openers involved expressing my interest in transferring, and asking them if they had the time to talk about the school. I managed to get seven phone numbers in one day. I'll describe one of those approaches...

Description: White girl with brown hair in a blue tank top, a bit sweaty due to the heat wave that hit NYC around that time.

Approach: I notice her sit down, and so I go up to her and introduce myself. I tell her I'm interested in transferring, and asked if she had enough time to talk. She did. I soon found out that she is a graduate student in mathematics, which I was able to use to vibe with her, given the fact that I might eventually pursue a PhD in mathematics. She answered my questions about the school, and I found out she graduated from Columbia for undergrad beforehand, which I also used to vibe well with her, given the fact that I might decide to finish my undergraduate studies there. I decided to be a bit playful - she was doing some last minute study for a final exam she was about to have for a summer class, and I offer to "help her study" by telling her to explain the concepts to me. Soon enough, it was time for her to actually go take her final, so I asked for her number, and gave her a hug.

Reflection: This was my last approach in a spree of multiple indirect approaches done that day. It was the most productive day I had in a very long time, given the fact that I was coming back from a semi-hiatus from cold approaches. However, the phone numbers I acquired were all obtained with the pretense that I wanted to ask them about the school. I wasn't able to (or rather, I didn't try to) transition my frame from "can you help me learn more about this school" to "I'm interested in you in a man-to-woman" way. I guess I was too caught up in feeling refreshed from the fact that I was doing cold approaches again, and the fact that I was doing much more than I was used to in a short span of time. One minor adjustment I could have made was to be willing to be express more direct intent towards the end, framing it as "I learned some interesting stuff about you in our talk, so I'd like to meet up again for romance related purposes."

I still have the phone numbers I acquired that day, though they'll likely be rather flakey if I ask them out on a date. I'll text some of them in the near future, and post my text-game related experience here.

Post: #3

2. Background: Seeking to develop skills pertaining to direct game, in the middle of Manhattan, in Bryant Park on a really hot summer day (feels over 100 degrees due to temperature and humidity).

Description: White girl (maybe Ashkenazi Jewish) with glasses, sitting on a chair, looking at her phone (or book - can't quite recall).

Approach: After a minute of fighting approach anxiety, I boldly go sit in the chair opposite from her at the same small circular table she's at, and say "Excuse me...I have a question - why are you so attractive?" (I have a naturally playful personality, and zingers like that feel congruent to me)

She laughs pleasantly, and I introduce myself, then segue into making small talk afterwards. I ask her what college she goes to, and she reveals she recently graduated from a state school in Massachusetts, which I recognized by name. I told her that a teacher who I was friendly with in high school also went to a state school in Massachusetts, and joked that "Do they really call their debate team the UMass debate team?" She laughs and goes "yeah, that's a running joke we have." I ask about her major, and she tells me it was psychology (go figure). She also asks me questions about the school I go to, and what my major is, and what my job is. The small talk lasts for a few minutes, and towards the end it fizzles out, so I go '...I guess I ran out of things to say" with a smirk. She laughs. I then tell her to "ask me any random question" and she goes "hmmm...." then I go "....like 'What is your phone number"

She then states, a bit slowly, that she has actually has a boyfriend. I playfully ask "oh yeah, what's his name?" She says it quickly enough that it didn't seem like an asspull. I let it slide and say "oh wow, that's fine. you can tell him a random stranger thinks he's lucky to have you...maybe he'll be so concerned at the attention you get that he'll put a ring on it..." She then goes "oh no, too soon...." She then says that she has to meet up with friends in a bit, but that it was nice talking with me. At this point, I'm feeling pretty great at having a direct approach not end in a quick blowout, and the conversation felt fun enough. I wish her goodbye by saying "well, we'll probably never see each other again, but it was nice meeting you." She says "well, you never know. I actually ran into a group of old high school friends earlier this week" before walking away.

Reflection: I suppose I still could have pushed for a number instead of letting it slide. As a short nerdy Asian guy, I already feel pretty accomplished in the fact that I was able to pull that off without any major fuckup. In this particular area, I'm surrounded by multiple extremely attractive women dressed for the heat and humidity, and by this point I was a bit physically exhausted. There wasn't much more I could have done.


3. Background: In my neighborhood, on my way to an appointment that was ten minutes away from happening. I tell myself that I'll try approaching anyone who's not too old and not too fat, just for the sake of it.

Approach: I see a girl on the other side of the street, about to jaywalk through busy traffic. I position myself across her, and start to walk across the road, but figure that it's better to just wait for her to get to my side. It feels more than a bit awkward waiting for the traffic to subside, and positioning myself in such a way that I'm just constantly looking at her while she makes her way over to my side. I get a bit "in my head." She's also wearing headphones. Once she gets close enough, I force myself to say anything, but what comes out of my mouth is.... "hey, hey,......can you give me the time?"

She gives me the time, and after this I quickly just make myself eject, and in my post-approach haze I walk back onto the sidewalk, almost getting hit by a cyclist.

Reflection: Yeah, lame. I was psyching myself up to approach *anyone,* and the circumstances felt so non-ideal that I ended up stifling myself too much. She also didn't seem attractive enough to pique my interest, because she was dressed a bit plainly, and I felt I was only approaching for the sake of it. After the initial question, I could have walked after her again and went "you know, I was actually not interested in the time...I wanted to talk to you because I think you're attractive" or something like that, then segues into quick small talk, and went for a number close.

Post: #4

(08-29-2016 07:16 PM)MathGuy Wrote:  improving my fashion (still look like a high schooler in many respects)

Great place to start. In a world where 99% of guys wear the same thing to the clubs, improving your style will improve your results overnight.

Quote:My experience so far has entirely consisted of daygame. Soon enough, I'll be taking my first forays into night game.

Night game is crucial for beginners because of the sheer volume. On one night it's extremely possible to approach dozens of girls, collect a few numbers, and escalate with the chosen female. Daygame? That would take days. Do both, good luck, let us know how it goes.

Post: #5

(08-29-2016 08:47 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

(08-29-2016 07:16 PM)MathGuy Wrote:  improving my fashion (still look like a high schooler in many respects)

Great place to start. In a world where 99% of guys wear the same thing to the clubs, improving your style will improve your results overnight.

Quote:My experience so far has entirely consisted of daygame. Soon enough, I'll be taking my first forays into night game.

Night game is crucial for beginners because of the sheer volume. On one night it's extremely possible to approach dozens of girls, collect a few numbers, and escalate with the chosen female. Daygame? That would take days. Do both, good luck, let us know how it goes.

Thanks for the reply. I have this conception that looks matter and don't matter at the same time. On one hand, looks (physical characteristics, style) are a factor in a girl's perception of you. On the other hand, you can still achieve success without being extremely good looking.

The idea is - when I'm not out approaching, I can work on my looks by grooming, doing research, and acquiring nice looking clothes. However, when I'm out approaching, I shouldn't let my looks stifle me.

Bit of a ramble - but it's an insight I feel is important to any beginner.

Also, I'm pretty excited at starting night game because of what you said. I feel that my progress is stifled quite a bit because daygame is a chore in the neighborhood I live in, where the average woman is closer in age and attractiveness to Hillary Clinton than to the kind of girl I'm into. If I go out, I can easily go multiple hours without seeing a single approach worthy woman. I'd have to be a pedophile or someone with a granny fetish to appreciate my neighborhood.

If I lived in Manhattan, things might be quite different, but I'm not rich enough (yet).

Post: #6

Good attitude

Post: #7

Background: Today, I paid a visit to my local community college to test how my tutoring schedule is going to feel like (I current work as a tutor for $$). It's still rather hot in NYC, so there are more girls dressed appealingly than usual.

I only ended up making one approach, which didn't really feel like an approach to me. One problem I haven't solved yet is the fact that when I'm out, I often find myself in this indecisive mental gray zone. I wouldn't call it "approach anxiety." It's more like "hmm....I just noticed that girl, but I'm not really *that* into her...should I stop whatever I'm doing right now and talk to her, or will that be a waste of time?" I don't call it approach anxiety because it doesn't involve any strong raw feelings that prevent me from approaching. It's more like approach indecisiveness or overdeliberation.

In my campus, where I'm simply not attracted to the vast majority of women, I often find that when I do come across someone who is attractive to me, my mind has to switch gears a bit, as in "woah woah woah, the girl who just passed by me is actually hot enough...I should snap out of it."

Lately I've been trying to make myself approach even when I'm not overly sure if the girl meets my standards. I made one such approach today.

Approach: I'm walking along a really crowded hallway, after spending a couple hours reading a book on meditation to myself. My mind isn't primed to look out for girls at this point, but then a slender hispanic looking girl in a grey tank top, sitting on a bench, catches my eye. I'm not too sure if I want to approach at this point, but I force myself to at least sit down right next to her. I say "wow, it's really busy today isn't it" but she doesn't acknowledge it as she's looking at her phone rather intently. A few seconds later, I decide to make an elderly opener - "excuse me, that's one of the older iPhone's isn't it?" She replies in a neutral mood that it is (IIRC it was the 5C). I ask about the costs and how long ago she bought it, saying that I'm looking to gift one to one of my cousins (lolol). She replies that it was around $600 (IIRC). At this point, I'm not really feeling it, so I just thank her. But I also don't really feel like walking away just yet, so I say "you're a [insert name of college here] student I'm guessing" (duh)? She replies that she is, and I make small talk. She reveals that she's a Nursing major, that she's Russian (not Hispanic, apparently), and that she's waiting for her brother. I tell her that I'm a recent graduate, and that I only go here for work. I ask about her brother's name because I got to know multiple people during my time here, including a few Russians. She replies with "Mike" and I don't know any Russian Mikes so I say that I probably don't know him. At this point, the conversation starts to fizzle out, and I'm still not particularly excited about things so I wish her a good day and excuse myself.

Reflection: Maybe I should have went for a phone number anyway? Maybe I should have forced myself to stick around? Maybe I should be willing to close girls I'm not particularly interested in, in the same fashion as girls who seem to be just my type? She seemed a bit shy/untalkative, but not uncomfortable in any obvious way. I give myself props for doing this even when I don't feel any strong inclination to, but I'm a bit tired of this foggy zone of indecisiveness that I haven't cleared yet.

One thing I have to do is set solid criteria for when and how to approach, whenever I'm at this place. I'm far constrained these days due to a lack of schoolwork to contend with, so I should take advantage of the fact that I'm more "free" to extend my conversations with girls (and anyone else for that matter).

Post: #8

At your point of the game, you should be approaching everything that moves.

Would you consider yourself an overthinker?

Post: #9

@redbeard: Yeah, overthinking is definitely a problem of mine. I have a tendency to analyze everything to the point where it sometimes prevents me from doing anything else.

Early on, when I first started, I fell into the trap of reading/watching pickup material as a way of avoiding actually doing approaches. I'm clawing my way out of that stage now.

Post: #10

(08-31-2016 06:15 AM)MathGuy Wrote:  Early on, when I first started, I fell into the trap of reading/watching pickup material as a way of avoiding actually doing approaches. I'm clawing my way out of that stage now.

I'm not sure what's right, though.

I watched loads of pickup stuff and read like 4 books but people said that you only learn 'in the field', and so I then started approaching lots and having almost 100% rejections, and now in my journal, I am told that I am approaching as a way to avoid doing the 'hard work' required, so i'm guessing I am supposed to go back to reading lots and watching lots of vids etc!? I'll run out of pickup books soon!

Post: #11

(08-31-2016 06:19 AM)subterfuge Wrote:  

(08-31-2016 06:15 AM)MathGuy Wrote:  Early on, when I first started, I fell into the trap of reading/watching pickup material as a way of avoiding actually doing approaches. I'm clawing my way out of that stage now.

I'm not sure what's right, though.

I watched loads of pickup stuff and read like 4 books but people said that you only learn 'in the field', and so I then started approaching lots and having almost 100% rejections, and now in my journal, I am told that I am approaching as a way to avoid doing the 'hard work' required, so i'm guessing I am supposed to go back to reading lots and watching lots of vids etc!? I'll run out of pickup books soon!

I guess the idea is that once you get passed the initial "fear of approach" stage, you have to make it a habit to try to close every time you approach.

I'll read your journal later. What do you consider to be "rejections?" Sometimes, you might be ejecting yourself from an approach even when you can still push for a close. Are you going for number closes? Instant dates?

--

@redbeard: I guess I do need to approach anything that moves, in order to kick my game into high gear. Now, when it comes to girls I'm not particularly interested in, how should I go about doing it?


There are a few concerns I have. It's pretty easy for me right now to feel congruent when I go direct when it comes to girls who are definitely attractive, but should I feign attraction when it comes to unattractive girls, solely for the sake of practice? Should I try to at least number close everyone? Should I run game on old ladies (lol) if there aren't many women close to my age around (which is the case in my neighborhood)?

One huge struggle I had is having those days where I don't feel as if I have many opportunities to "practice." I suppose this is one of the biggest barriers when it comes to daygame. If I was able to start regularly doing nightgame back when I first learned about PUA at 19, I'd probably be killing it right now.

Post: #12

(08-31-2016 06:15 AM)MathGuy Wrote:  @redbeard: Yeah, overthinking is definitely a problem of mine. I have a tendency to analyze everything to the point where it sometimes prevents me from doing anything else.

Early on, when I first started, I fell into the trap of reading/watching pickup material as a way of avoiding actually doing approaches. I'm clawing my way out of that stage now.

What books have you read?

Like you, I am a math/science guy by nature and chroniclly overthink everything. It's bad, but whatever, we deal with it. In order to get out of your head, I suggest setting a numerical goal for approaching. If you go to a location (mall, city square, college, etc.) with the goal to game, tell yourself you'll do any number of SOLID approaches (could be 3, 5, 10) before leaving. How you define SOLID is up to you. Do the same with night game.

If you start analyzing her bang-ability or availability, just ask yourself "would I bang her if she showed up to my door step?" If the answer is yes, go talk to her. If the answer is no, put it out of your head and keep moving.

How would you describe your libido? I don't know what you do behind closed doors...but you're a 21 year old virgin. Your boner should be flying out of your pants, so you either jerk off regularly or live an unhealthy lifestyle (diet, exercise, hormones, sleep). Fix both of these.

(08-31-2016 06:19 AM)subterfuge Wrote:  

(08-31-2016 06:15 AM)MathGuy Wrote:  Early on, when I first started, I fell into the trap of reading/watching pickup material as a way of avoiding actually doing approaches. I'm clawing my way out of that stage now.

I'm not sure what's right, though.

I watched loads of pickup stuff and read like 4 books but people said that you only learn 'in the field', and so I then started approaching lots and having almost 100% rejections, and now in my journal, I am told that I am approaching as a way to avoid doing the 'hard work' required, so i'm guessing I am supposed to go back to reading lots and watching lots of vids etc!? I'll run out of pickup books soon!

The difference between you and OP is that you "have literally hundreds of rejections". Haven't you guys learned about the scientific method? Subterfuge needs to revise his hypothesis. MathGuy is just starting his.

Post: #13

(08-31-2016 06:45 AM)MathGuy Wrote:  @redbeard: I guess I do need to approach anything that moves, in order to kick my game into high gear. Now, when it comes to girls I'm not particularly interested in, how should I go about doing it?

This is up to you really, but I would still follow the "would I bang her? Talk to her" rule. If you get most of your "reps" lifting a light weight you won't get stronger

Quote:There are a few concerns I have. It's pretty easy for me right now to feel congruent when I go direct when it comes to girls who are definitely attractive, but should I feign attraction when it comes to unattractive girls, solely for the sake of practice? Should I try to at least number close everyone? Should I run game on old ladies (lol) if there aren't many women close to my age around (which is the case in my neighborhood)?

One huge struggle I had is having those days where I don't feel as if I have many opportunities to "practice." I suppose this is one of the biggest barriers when it comes to daygame. If I was able to start regularly doing nightgame back when I first learned about PUA at 19, I'd probably be killing it right now.

Don't you live in New York City? Do you live in a shitty borough or something?

Post: #14

@redbeard: I've read and watched from such a large variety of sources that it's a bit pointless listing them all.

I'll keep that counting-solid-approaches-until-a-predetermined-number trick in mind. A problem I have is "daygame guilt" stemming from the fact that a lot of PUA material spouts a "no excuses" mantra, which makes ordinary scenarios really annoying sometimes, like walking passed a semi-attractive mom on the street who is walking with her young kid and thinking to myself "am I bitching out if I don't approach her?"

Thanks for the advice regarding the "would I bang if she shows up at my front door" rule. I've been denying myself too many opportunities because of the fact that I've only really gone after definite-hotties.

I'm exercising every day (alternating lifting and running) and eating better these days. For a year, afte I was actually a bonafide NEET who stayed home browsing 4chan all day, eating chips for breakfast and becoming physically soft-as-fuck in general. My libido has been at its highest. While I certainly don't view masturbation as one of my most severe issues, I've never managed to go beyond 3 weeks of NoFap, which sort of makes me wonder if I do have a problem.

And yeah, while I live in NYC, I live on an outer edge of the dullest borough. It's a neighborhood full of old people and fresh of the boat families. I need to board a bus to the nearest subway stop, and it would take me an hour to get to Manhattan. I'm not equipped to make that trip every day.

Manhattan and some of the neighborhoods in Brooklyn I've been to feel like paradise every time I go.

Post: #15

Understandable. If I were you, I'd follow The Roosh Program, especially:

-Only jerk off Sunday night
-Record your approaches here
-Don't read any game material...any skill should be 10% reading 90% action, right now you're at 99% reading 1% action

How you get your approaches is up to you, we also don't know your work situation, but gaming is possible. You're only an hour away from the world capitol for easy sex. Maybe think about spending two days a week in Manhattan doing as much game as possible. I know if I was in your shoes, I'd be going to Brooklyn on Thursday night to party with hipsters and Manhattan Saturday to party. Between those two you could get plenty of game experience relatively quickly. But that's me...daygame is a little different.

Post: #16

Alright, so this post isn't meant to describe any attempts/successes, or respond to posts from anyone else, but to declare a commitment.

I'm going to apply redbeard's advice to approach as many"bangable" girls as I can, along with the giovonny's daygame mindset where he doesn't view his approaches as "pickups," but as just plain "talking."

For far too long, I've been far, far too picky. As a teenager, I had insane oneitis that lasted for years with two girls. There were multiple girls who showed interest in me who I coldly neglected, not because I didn't consider them attractive, but because of my fixation on my oneitis. Because of emotional issues that were sort of created by problems with one of them, I ended up becoming a high school dropout, and a NEET for a year. Thankfully, I managed to discard those emotional issues before starting community college, and the sheer business of it helped bury them for good.

Very recently, I realize that I've blinded myself to multiple opportunities because I haven't properly shed my extreme pickiness. I have only really let myself approach girls that were not only "bangable," but ones that explicitly *looked* like my type. They all had to look like a certain brand - educated, confident, cultured, not-fresh-off-the-boat, etc, etc.

So here's what I'm going to apply from now on:

-If she passes the "would I bang if I was alone with her, horny, and knew she wants to fuck" test, she is approach worthy. If I'm not in an absolute rush, I should be willing to approach. If I'm even looking around and noticing girls, I'm not in an absolute rush.
-I'm going to open in the most congruent manner that comes to mind in the moment. If it's a "nice weather today, isn't it" that's how I'll open. If it's a "hey" that's how I'll open. If it's "I've been sitting here for the past 5 minutes thinking of the best way to start talking to you", that's how I'll open. If it's "excuse me...I don't even know why I'm talking to you right now, but something about you makes me feel like it," that's how I'll open.
-I don't have to force any particular outcome, though at the same time I'll be willing to weather any awkward/negative moments. If I start talking to someone on the subway, get a negative reaction, and have everyone in the car staring at me - that's just fine, because I'll shamelessly own everything I do.
-My basic frame will be "she is good enough for a few seconds out of my day, now let me find out if we're compatible." The idea is that I'll just let my self have a chat while subtly qualifying her.
-If we don't really vibe, and I expect this to happen *a lot,* I'll eject myself - no big deal at all.
-If we end up vibing, I'll extend the conversation, and let myself close however feels most appropriate to me in the moment.

This method of daygame will probably feel really natural, unforced, and productive. I'm going to let myself unapologetically approach on the street, bus, subway, waiting line in a restaurant, park, etc etc.

I'll probably end up making so many 'approaches' that writing about all of them will be out of the question. I'll be sure to write about ones that stick out in any special way.

Stay tuned!

Post: #17

(08-31-2016 08:17 PM)redbeard Wrote:  Understandable. If I were you, I'd follow The Roosh Program, especially:

-Only jerk off Sunday night
-Record your approaches here
-Don't read any game material...any skill should be 10% reading 90% action, right now you're at 99% reading 1% action

How you get your approaches is up to you, we also don't know your work situation, but gaming is possible. You're only an hour away from the world capitol for easy sex. Maybe think about spending two days a week in Manhattan doing as much game as possible. I know if I was in your shoes, I'd be going to Brooklyn on Thursday night to party with hipsters and Manhattan Saturday to party. Between those two you could get plenty of game experience relatively quickly. But that's me...daygame is a little different.

By the way, let me spare a post to give you a **huge** thanks for your feedback in this thread. I expected this thread to involve a couple dozen posts from myself, speaking to an empty room, before some acknowledgement every now and then.

I definitely read and watch wayyyy too much. For me, the ratio in terms of time has easily been over 99% consuming and less than 1% applying.

Even in my worst days, I always tried to get an approach done in Manhattan whenever my travels took me there. It's just heaven compared to where I live.

By the way, I'm not sure if I ended up revealing my work schedule earlier in this thread (I only have scheduled work on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays - I may use Mondays/Fridays for independent private tutoring work), but are hipster "Thursday nights" at Brooklyn a thing? I feel stupid having to ask that. I've only ran game in Brooklyn for a day so far (this summer; by the time I got to Brooklyn I was drained from hours of walking around Manhattan on a day where the heat index was over 100, so I didn't get to do much). I play the guitar, so some of my current fantasies involve hedonistic humid nights spent with artsy hipsters.

What has your experience in NYC been like?

BTW, to anyone curious reading this thread, I'm 5'7 and Asian (Filipino, though I look like an asian/hispanic/white mix). I also have a pretty large head, which makes me look a bit too "cute" for my preferences sometimes. Hopefully no one I know in real life is going to read this thread, or they'll probably think of me.

Post: #18

Yesterday, I was pretty bogged down with work, but I did force myself to do a few "approaches." I put "approaches" in quotation marks because they didn't really feel like approaches in the way most people envision. I was at the college I work at, so direct daygame approaches are a no-go, unless I eventually get to a point where I truly feel like I don't give a fuck about getting fired. I'm essentially trying to trick my brain into making me position myself near any girl, and pulling out a quick indirect opener. If the conversation quickly ends, it'll be just fine. If it continues and goes particularly well - great!

1. I was taking a stroll around campus when I saw this girl (wearing earplugs) on her laptop, which had one of those decorative covers on it. I sat down in front of her, fiddling with my phone a bit to be inconspicuous, and then pulled an indirect opener, asking her about the decorative cover. She told me she bought it from Amazon, and also responded to my question regarding how much it cost. She then put her earplugs back on after that, and in that moment I just figured like I'd just eject because she seemed particularly busy.

Reflection: This was one of those "bangable but not extremely attractive to me" scenarios. I decided that because she was busy that it wasn't worth the investment. One thing that could have made the set better was improving my ramble, but she might not have been amenable to that anyway.

2. This happened toward the end of the day, in a computer lab. I can't even consider this an approach, because this is with a girl who I've been acquaintances since a year and a half ago, and she approached me. If I include yesterday's interaction, I've only talked with her a grand total of maybe....four times? Can't quite recall. Anyway...

I was talking on the phone with a friend of mine, joking around a bit. She walks in and sees me. I'm a friendly guy so I smile and wave hi. Once I get off the phone, she goes up to me and slowly and somewhat nervously asks me for a favor. I say "sure, what is it?" She explains that she left her phone behind at home, and wants to use mine to call someone. I say "ok, why not" and give her my phone. She dials and chats to someone in Spanish, while I look at some Internet bullshit. Once she gets off the phone, gives it back, and thanks me, she doesn't sit down - she stands there just looking at me. I decide to start some chitchat with her - asking how her Calculus 2 class is going, if she took advice I gave last semester regarding which professor to pick, etc etc. In the pauses in our conversation, she doesn't excuse herself to sit back down and work on things, and she also seems to give IOIs (playing with hair, maintains extended eye contact), which I didn't put too much consideration to given the fact that from what I know of her personality, she probably is like that to everyone.

I decide to just take things further, asked her to put her number in my phone (her own phone was home, and I decided to text it "Hola" to be funny), then asked her what she's about to do at that moment. She says she was about to go eat, so I offer to go downstairs with her, and she obliges. We sit at a table downstairs and chat about a variety of topics -- countries, languages, cultures, colleges we want to transfer to, etc. I did this to gauge her level of interest, and I had time to spare at that point anyway. My judgment was that she didn't have any particularly "strong" indicators, so I didn't try any escalation, unless you count the playful footsies (lightly kicking each other's shoes) we did under the table towards the end, or me saying "tu eres muy...bonita...did I say that right? I forgot what it meant" one time while we were teaching each other languages we knew. Once it was time for me to head home, I wished her goodbye (in several languages, lol) and went home. She still had a class to attend, so there was nothing else to do.

Reflection: I wondered if there was an opportunity, and decided to try to find out. Right now she's in the "maybe" zone, and I'll see if things progress from there.

Post: #19

Background: There was an orientation and sexual harassment seminar I had to attend today at my place of work, due to the fact that a new semester has just started. My actual schedule doesn't start until next week. Colleges in NY have relatively recently adopted this "Enough is Enough" mantra - that "even one instance of sexual harassment is TOO many!!!"

Now, today was a pretty unproductive day in terms of game, not because of the inane seminar I was made to attend, but because I fell into a really lazy slump after I got home. I planned on going out on a stroll around my neighborhood to run game, but I was in the mood to just screw around on the Internet.

I did make a couple of approaches, with the Title IX bullshit at the back of my mind. Here's a description of one of them.

First things first, physical appearance wise, the girl I approached would set red flags for a lot of users here. Multiple tattoos (said she plans to get one in her armpit) and dyed hair (white with some hues, but the white part is because she's albino). She was sitting on a bench in a hallway, browsing her phone, and I opened by commenting on her hair, which segued into a general conversation about classes/college experiences/teenage experiences. Towards the end, I got her number, and went off to read math books for a couple hours before the seminar started.

Reflection: The bulk of daygame, I suspect, involves "low energy" interactions that feel like plain chitchat. Success is achieved primarily through having the discipline to just slightly go out of your own way sometimes (which really doesn't take much effort), not by forcing "high energy" strategies like spam approaching multiple girls in a direct manner to "achieve state."

**All you really need to do to achieve success is go slightly out of your way. You can open in whatever way feels most natural in the moment. All you really lose is a few seconds of your time, and even in the worst case scenarios you're still training yourself to fight the deceptive voice in your head that tells you to not go for it.**

That's a really important point, and my takeaway for today. I wonder how much opportunities I missed out on by not being outside from 3pm to now. I'll have to remind myself of that.

Post: #20

Those are all good signs or she would've shut it down.

Find something you want to do or go to near campus (since it sounds like you are far away from yours and maybe her place), and invite her out.

Pick three or so locations:
Where you meet - somewhere you can sit for a minute or two and people watch or something (coincidentally) before you take off
Somewhere to stop in along the way - ex: you're in the mood to grab an ice cream. This is a spontaneous thing
"Date" hang out location - the main event. NOT dinner and do not call it a date. Something you would want to do anyway, you're inviting her along (that being said, keep her interests in mind, don't take her to a Dungeons and Dragons party). Museum, place with live music and drinks, etc. Do some touching, hand on her back, etc.
Somewhere nearby to go after you go out. Somewhere quiet where you can sit down on a bench and kiss.
Don't shoot for closing the deal that same night.

Post: #21

(09-02-2016 10:58 PM)polar Wrote:  Those are all good signs or she would've shut it down.

Find something you want to do or go to near campus (since it sounds like you are far away from yours and maybe her place), and invite her out.

Pick three or so locations:
Where you meet - somewhere you can sit for a minute or two and people watch or something (coincidentally) before you take off
Somewhere to stop in along the way - ex: you're in the mood to grab an ice cream. This is a spontaneous thing
"Date" hang out location - the main event. NOT dinner and do not call it a date. Something you would want to do anyway, you're inviting her along (that being said, keep her interests in mind, don't take her to a Dungeons and Dragons party). Museum, place with live music and drinks, etc. Do some touching, hand on her back, etc.
Somewhere nearby to go after you go out. Somewhere quiet where you can sit down on a bench and kiss.
Don't shoot for closing the deal that same night.

Thanks for the reply.

Which girl are you commenting on? The acquaintance who stuck around longer than I expected, or the albino tatted on who I met for the first time today (or yesterday, since it's 12am now)? Or both?

Post: #22

Acquaintance. Either she likes spending time with you or she likes you. Can't hurt to try - so long as you would be fine if she were to reject you (ie not "butthurt")

Energy wise - you have to come in with a bit more energy than she has in order to get the set moving.

Post: #23

This weekend has been terribly unproductive, because I've been staying home for the most part. Tomorrow I'm going to purchase an unlimited monthly metrocard, so that I'll be able to smoothly travel NYC. I need to escape my shittastic neighborhood as often as possible.

Today, I went to a nearby pharmacy to restock on dental floss. It was late at night - 10:30PM. While I was there, there was this Hispanic (or Jewish, maybe) looking girl in front of me in line, who wasn't particularly attractive but passed my bangability test. I made up some bullshit on the spot to chat her up, asking if she was in my "English class three semesters ago, because you look like this girl who sat next to me." All she did was nod back and softly say "no." I then asked her if she went to my college, and she did the same thing again. Dropped it at this point.

Reflection: Ejecting so soon feels so inconsequential that I wouldn't even use the word "rejection" when it comes to scenarios like this. I didn't even put in any significant effort.

To anyone reading this -- keep in mind that any of you will come across dozens of "opportunities" like this throughout the week. Many of them may be unreceptive, but some of them can quickly hook without much effort. Some of them will light up and start talking back, and may end up being someone you end up fucking or getting into an LTR with.

The idea is that the latter can easily happen, without much effort on your part, other than sparing a few seconds and saying some words to jumpstart something.

Post: #24

Alright, today is the first day of my regular work schedule, and it has been a bit changed. I'll be pretty occupied with work-related duties for Monday through Thursday up to 7pm. With that in mind, here is my prototype "game" schedule, if you will...

Monday-Thursday: Run the kind of "just talking" / indirect game I wrote about earlier, primarily during my lunch break. I'll also be doing it while commuting and while I'm at work - sometimes I may excuse myself for 5 minute "bathroom breaks" to see what I can do. Another thing that I'll be working on in my spare moments of time is text game, which I haven't given examples of yet.

Friday: I don't have any scheduled work this day, but I may dedicate the early hours to private tutoring. However, I'll dedicate the evenings to game - perhaps by starting to visit nightclubs. There aren't any in my neighborhood, so I'm going to have to commute a bit for this.

Saturday: This is going to be my primary day of the week when it comes to pickup. My primary rule is to make myself commute all the way to Manhattan and/or Brooklyn. I'll be doing approaches anywhere I end up taking myself, and will feel free to be a little (or a lot) more direct.

Sunday: Perhaps a bit like Saturday, except I'll be making myself head home a bit earlier.... I'll have to keep in mind that any commute back home from Manhattan/Brooklyn will take a minimum of around an hour and a half.




Aside from the indirect / "just talking" style of game that will take up the bulk of my week, some other things that will be cultivated are.


-Direct street approaches. These are worth doing just for the sake of it, because it kills the inner beta. I'm a young poor-as-fuck short Asian guy, and when I inevitably attain higher status later on in life, I can look back on the fact that I was confident enough in my "shit years" to at least try to get with attractive women from richer backgrounds, and use it to solidify even greater inner confidence. I'll be "competing" with older, taller, richer, more experienced, high status guys (mostly white), and if I even achieve a modicum of success, it'll feel even better because I did it while playing on "hard mode."

Question: Do any of you wish you were shorter/poorer/lower status because you would relish the challenge?

-Text game. I have a habit of being overly wordy, and as a teenager I was that one kid who would always write in a pretentious, formal, somewhat overwrought manner on Facebook / instant messaging. It was a good way of ensuring that I didn't sound like an idiot, but it also doesn't translate well to texting girls, because I would often find myself looking like someone who's overinvesting because of the fact that my text messages in comparison to the other person's would be at least three times the size. Also, when I look back, I find that my worst "blowouts" (if you can call it that) have come from mistakes pertaining to text game. The biggest issue is the fact that the girl isn't right there with you, which means that you're a bit 'blind' to her emotional state and level of comfort. For instance, radio silence from a girl can mean that she was weirded out, or it can mean that she's just busy. My idea right now with text game is to keep things constrained to logistics for the most part, while occasionally spicing things up with rapport building / jokes, keeping in mind that things are far more easily misinterpreted through the medium of text.

(It's worthy of a whole entire post, so I'll leave it at that for now)

-Nightclubs and bars. I've never been to a nightclub yet, and I've only been to bars a couple of times so far. In the very few times I went to bars, they were either mostly empty or filled with fat middle aged guys. I recall that the first time I went to a bar (a couple months ago, mind you), I was with a Polish friend of mine who was impressed at the fact that I was able to just nonchalantly chat up this Norwegian American girl next to me. It was pretty great now that I look back at it, because I did it while someone who might have been her dad was right next to her, and I didn't even realize it at the time. Didn't go anywhere because she left after chatting to the bartender (she told me she mixed drinks for her job, so I guess she might have been there for work related purposes...the bar was otherwise completely empty).

Post: #25

Do any of you wish you were shorter/poorer/lower status because you would relish the challenge?

I do and I'll tell you why. Every time a girl seems interested in me, there is always the curiosity to know what actually got her this interested. Was it my money? Or my looks? Maybe my job? or game? Chicks are superficial.

But if I were shorter, poorer or lower status, I would not only relish the challenge but the bang would ascertain me that it is my game that matters the most.
That's how I see it.