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I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
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Boldoff Offline
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Post: #1
I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
This girl has been living rent free in my head for a while, and I haven't seen her in six months. I honestly want some sort of definitive decision as opposed to a wishy-washy "what if". I'm completely willing to take an L on this, because whatever the outcome, I'll have overcame a psychological hurdle.

To give some context, she was into me for a while and I was into her but I was too timid to make a move.

I just texted her "hey it's been a while, what's up?"

I've never done this before (expressed intent/desire to someone)

I'll keep y'all posted on the reply but I need help steering the conversation in the right direction, with no pussyfooting. I want to be outright in my desire and pursuit, instead of playing it safe.

I won't be ignoring the wisdom of this board, I just want psychological relief from this and maybe at most a STR with no strings attached.

Thanks in advice guys.
(This post was last modified: 01-05-2017 12:11 PM by Boldoff.)
01-05-2017 12:10 PM
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wi30 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
How old are you? I'm assuming you're younger if you've been obsessed with a girl you have never banged and haven't seen in 6 months.

Are you a virgin or relatively inexperienced? If you've been around the block a time or two, this wouldn't be an issue.

A few details about you would be helpful, but don't share anything you aren't comfortable letting a public forum know.

Congrats on finally making a move, it's definitely a step in the right direction. Everyone has to start somewhere.

But after some time on the forum, you'll realize that there is always a hotter/better/younger/lower maintenance girl around the corner.
01-05-2017 12:20 PM
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Boldoff Offline
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Post: #3
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
Yah I'm pretty inexperienced, only banged two girls and these were one night stands with strangers so I haven't really developed any relationship or long term seduction skills yet.

I'm 21, so I gotta take a 180 degree turn in the direction I'm going (relationship-wise) or I'm headed towards rocky roads.
01-05-2017 02:06 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
Clearly you're hungup on this girl.

I will tell you right now, you SHOULD NOT, try going towards another relationship.

You need to heal, get rid of this girl from your head, get experience gaming and banging ladies first.

Maybe a few flings and mini LTR's if anything.

The last thing you want to do is go head over heels into another relationship.


You probably should read this thread about my breakup with LOTS of good advice from senior members:

/thread-52295.html

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01-05-2017 02:39 PM
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LeoneVolpe Offline
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Post: #5
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
OP,

It's my belief the red pill can't be prescribed, it must be sought. Hopefully when you say "I'm completely willing to take the "L" on this," you mean what you say -- because, in all likelihood, that's what's going to happen. Still, if getting burned by your one-itis helps you to "see the light" then it isn't in vain. Failure is the best teacher.

Having said that, however, it's still hard for me to send an inexperienced guy off to potentially embarrass himself without first issuing some friendly advice -- if you take nothing else away from this post, take this:

The "big speech" you see at the end of Hollywood movies where a guy declares his undying love for a girl, and she runs into his open arms and passionately kisses him is fiction. Try that in real-life and you're just setting yourself up for failure. Whatever you do to try and "woo" this girl, please at least keep that in mind. Good luck!

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(This post was last modified: 01-05-2017 03:21 PM by LeoneVolpe.)
01-05-2017 02:49 PM
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Rocha Offline
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Post: #6
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
Go for it! Reach out to her and tell her how you feel, and how you want to spent more time with her.

Every player was born after a love faillure, or not corresponded emotions. You are a very young guy and you still have plenty of time for this to happen, so better sooner than later.

Just do not waste too much time if things do not figure out the way you wanted, and keep an open mind and conscience that there are many women around, not just that one.

I wish I had rvf when I had my oneitis...

"Поехали!!" (Yuri Gagarin, 1961)

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01-05-2017 02:54 PM
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Turnus Offline
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Post: #7
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
Good job reaching out. You know what would really through her for a loop. Pick up the phone and call her. Have an actual conversation with her. She's already getting 15 different dudes a day texting her. Be different.
(This post was last modified: 01-05-2017 03:57 PM by Turnus.)
01-05-2017 03:26 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #8
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
Nothing gets you over a woman, like another woman.

Luckily there are billions of women in the world.

Some of them will be crazy about you.

Go find one.
01-05-2017 08:52 PM
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Boldoff Offline
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Post: #9
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
This is a bit difficult since I'm in Russia at the moment, and it's a 12 hour difference in time zones.

Basically she replied pretty enthusiastically and mentioned how she was applying to medical school and she just got inked up.

I asked about her tattoo, after she gives her explanation, ill gauge the general comfort/interest levels and I'll try and hit her with a "that's cool, let's hang out when I get back", I don't think I should vomit anything too emotional in text. I was never friend zoned or anything because this is really my first time texting her directly, other times it was seeing her and occasionally chatting her up at mutual friend events.

In person I'll make my desire pretty explicit, or is this going to confuse the girl? Should I just be explicit over text? And in what way?
01-06-2017 03:22 AM
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Dalaran1991 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
I took the red pill full on after something similar to this.

I say go for it full on, throw away the brake. Just whatever happens do not let her string you along for emotional tampon. Girls love having orbiters.

Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
01-06-2017 06:15 AM
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Rocha Offline
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Post: #11
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
(01-06-2017 03:22 AM)Boldoff Wrote:  This is a bit difficult since I'm in Russia at the moment, and it's a 12 hour difference in time zones.

Basically she replied pretty enthusiastically and mentioned how she was applying to medical school and she just got inked up.

I asked about her tattoo, after she gives her explanation, ill gauge the general comfort/interest levels and I'll try and hit her with a "that's cool, let's hang out when I get back", I don't think I should vomit anything too emotional in text. I was never friend zoned or anything because this is really my first time texting her directly, other times it was seeing her and occasionally chatting her up at mutual friend events.

In person I'll make my desire pretty explicit, or is this going to confuse the girl? Should I just be explicit over text? And in what way?

In Russia...be Russian.
I take what I said back. Go approach some Russian hotties and forget about that one girl

"Поехали!!" (Yuri Gagarin, 1961)

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01-06-2017 08:06 AM
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Boldoff Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I'm going for closure on my oneitis---don't give a fuck
End of story bros---she agreed to a date with me but we're not going to be around each other for two months....I'm just going to "next" this bitch as I'm trying to move on with my life, I'm glad I got over this psychological hurdle.

I'm so happy I finally grew the balls to ask out a girl I was infatuated with...but honestly after her reply and ruminating on the advice of this board, it's best I chalk this up as an extremely valuable learning experience.

Still if she's down to meet up in a couple months, I'm not going to refuse a sale, I'm just not going to let my emotions make me do something irrational.
01-07-2017 04:13 PM
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