Post: #51

I am going through this even as we speak...

I recently had an unintended dust-up with someone over email at work. He is beneath me in the hierarchy and has significantly less time on the job than I do but he has a high position in the union.

I responded to an email that he sent out and corrected some facts that he distributed. He responded by attacking me and my motivation. Then he tried to wrap himself in the union and said that I was attacking all of them and the work that they did on behalf of the members.

Several senior guys reached out to me and were pissed! They felt he was completely out of line and that I had to respond to him. My boss pulled me aside and asked me for my side of the story.

I told him I meant no disrespect and that the individual had read things into it that were not there and had completely over-reacted. My boss accepted my rationale and said that if I wanted to pursue discipline he wouldn't stand in the way.

The difficult thing for me is I know and have been friends with this guy's brother for nearly 10 years. I saw his brother and I could tell he was in a tough spot. This all occurred yesterday and I thought he (the emailer) would have called or emailed me by now to apologize or ask for a clarification of my email.

Several other guys said they read my email and his response and don't get why he unloaded with this level of vitriol. I'm going to give him a few days to call or email me. If he doesn't reach out I am going to instruct him and his crew to come see me.

I will take him behind closed doors and give him the opportunity to apologize and hopefully that will be the end of it. Everyone knows that he was out of line but some guys are taking his side simply because of the union issues.

I am confident that the guys on his crew will run back and tell everyone what happened so I am going to give him the opportunity to save face. It's theater. Or high school. It all depends in how you want to look at it.

What you don't want to do is nothing. This guy has a bit of a Napoleon complex. He's short but he's pretty well put together and I've noticed he had no problem in getting in people's faces. (Except for those of us who are over six feet!) lol

Post: #52

(12-22-2017 08:50 PM)Caractacus Potts Wrote:  I am going through this even as we speak...

I recently had an unintended dust-up with someone over email at work. He is beneath me in the hierarchy and has significantly less time on the job than I do but he has a high position in the union.

I responded to an email that he sent out and corrected some facts that he distributed. He responded by attacking me and my motivation. Then he tried to wrap himself in the union and said that I was attacking all of them and the work that they did on behalf of the members.

Several senior guys reached out to me and were pissed! They felt he was completely out of line and that I had to respond to him. My boss pulled me aside and asked me for my side of the story.

I told him I meant no disrespect and that the individual had read things into it that were not there and had completely over-reacted. My boss accepted my rationale and said that if I wanted to pursue discipline he wouldn't stand in the way.

The difficult thing for me is I know and have been friends with this guy's brother for nearly 10 years. I saw his brother and I could tell he was in a tough spot. This all occurred yesterday and I thought he (the emailer) would have called or emailed me by now to apologize or ask for a clarification of my email.

Several other guys said they read my email and his response and don't get why he unloaded with this level of vitriol. I'm going to give him a few days to call or email me. If he doesn't reach out I am going to instruct him and his crew to come see me.

I will take him behind closed doors and give him the opportunity to apologize and hopefully that will be the end of it. Everyone knows that he was out of line but some guys are taking his side simply because of the union issues.

I am confident that the guys on his crew will run back and tell everyone what happened so I am going to give him the opportunity to save face. It's theater. Or high school. It all depends in how you want to look at it.

What you don't want to do is nothing. This guy has a bit of a Napoleon complex. He's short but he's pretty well put together and I've noticed he had no problem in getting in people's faces. (Except for those of us who are over six feet!) lol

Nobody wins in this situation. I learned long ago that arguments via email will only put both parts in a bad position. And it all is recorded/archived and can be thrown to your face latter. Unlike phone or face to face communication.
If I read something that I don't agree or don't understand, in first instace if I am not in the same physical space of the person who sent the email, I pick up the phone and call that person. If I am in the same space I go straight up to the person. Half truths, misunderstandings, non clear communication etc, have no space in nowadays corporate world, at least if you want to avoid bitter situations, and get office drama and grey hair... As I have many sluts to bang outside of office and like to disconnet totally as soon as the working day is over, I make things straight and clear right from the beggining. If someone tells me that he heard trough the gravepine this and that from someone I imediatelly call that someone in front of that person and set things straight.

Go the guy and invite him for a coffee, set the issue with him even if you have to make some concessions believe me it will be better than keep that email trade going, and finally end that dispute with some email sorting things clear (you or him can send it) "As discussed with mr X, points 1,2,3 are already settled, I can not help but to praise the excellent teamwork we had in settling those issues". Everyone will be happy.