Post: #51

I went to the club. Decent crowd. Didn't have the wing. All the sets were two or more girls.

I left and went to the whiskey bar, and decided I'd do like an approach or two.

As I drink there's a large tranny who's voice cuts through the venue. Fuck this shit.

I find two cute blondes and use an observational opener. I seem to have their attention I must have been the first person to approach them this night. Again, I'm fucking tired, so the energy is not there. There leave after about a minute.

Today I'm doing daygame.

My positives and negatives so far:
1)Sometimes I go out and do massive approaches, while other times I only manage one or two.
2) My energy level lately has been low and it hurts my sets
3) Opening is easy but sometimes have trouble with the next stage
4) I never run out of things to say
5) Have a couple venues where I'm well established.

Post: #52

I've already fucked up my first daygame set in a while.

I'm at a coffeeshop, and I'll daygame as long as I can today...

Girl is waiting for her coffee, and say, fuck it, it's not gonna get any easier. So I indirectly open her up.

Observational opener, very easy conversation starter because she has a camera. So I start asking her about photography, what she photographs, etc. And tell her a bit about what I photography. This is not an optimal way to open a girl because as soon as she gets her coffee she leaves. I should have asked for her insta handle because her time as well as mine was limited. That's what I've created my insta for, and it's pretty good actually.

A beginner mistake that I'm not gonna repeat again. Gotta close these sets!

Post: #53

(02-02-2019 05:36 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  I've already fucked up my first daygame set in a while.

I'm at a coffeeshop, and I'll daygame as long as I can today...

Girl is waiting for her coffee, and say, fuck it, it's not gonna get any easier. So I indirectly open her up.

Observational opener, very easy conversation starter because she has a camera. So I start asking her about photography, what she photographs, etc. And tell her a bit about what I photography. This is not an optimal way to open a girl because as soon as she gets her coffee she leaves. I should have asked for her insta handle because her time as well as mine was limited. That's what I've created my insta for, and it's pretty good actually.

A beginner mistake that I'm not gonna repeat again. Gotta close these sets!

Dang how do you have time for this? I'm going through a dry spell myself but I just don't have the time or patience to be putting into day or night game outside of 2-3 hrs/week.

Post: #54

(02-02-2019 06:18 PM)monsquid Wrote:  

(02-02-2019 05:36 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  I've already fucked up my first daygame set in a while.

I'm at a coffeeshop, and I'll daygame as long as I can today...

Girl is waiting for her coffee, and say, fuck it, it's not gonna get any easier. So I indirectly open her up.

Observational opener, very easy conversation starter because she has a camera. So I start asking her about photography, what she photographs, etc. And tell her a bit about what I photography. This is not an optimal way to open a girl because as soon as she gets her coffee she leaves. I should have asked for her insta handle because her time as well as mine was limited. That's what I've created my insta for, and it's pretty good actually.

A beginner mistake that I'm not gonna repeat again. Gotta close these sets!

Dang how do you have time for this? I'm going through a dry spell myself but I just don't have the time or patience to be putting into day or night game outside of 2-3 hrs/week.

I go out Wed- Sat if I can manage, and I'm trying to make daygaming on weekends a habit from today on out.

Post: #55

Have you considered what most guys on this forum do and just go to an impoverished country? I'm not into doing that cuz I do really well in L.A., but if your on a 1 year dry spell(that's insane btw) then you should do it to at least break your drought. I've read colombia, Cambodia, and phillipines are good.

Post: #56

(02-02-2019 09:58 PM)Axel99 Wrote:  Have you considered what most guys on this forum do and just go to an impoverished country? I'm not into doing that cuz I do really well in L.A., but if your on a 1 year dry spell(that's insane btw) then you should do it to at least break your drought. I've read colombia, Cambodia, and phillipines are good.

I was actually in much worse physical shape when I was abroad, i posted in another thread about backpacking/ living in the third world for a while. I ended up back in the US. I was actually coming off a really bad breakup and it really crushed my spirit-- only now am I recovering. I'm one of those people that has trouble getting out of their head, and just not being emotional and/or living life, rather, micro-analyzing everything. I have not visited any of the destinations you mentioned, though.

Post: #57

I actually had the time of my life tonight, I'm a bit tired so I'll keep it brief.

I got promoted at work so I was celebrating... I have not celebrated and partied this much in about half a year or so. It was so much fun, as cliched as it may sound. I was not focusing on pickup at all. I believe it's counter-productive to think cognizant of pick up too much on night out.Summary follows:

I left the first daygame spot having only done several sets. I went to another coffee shop, and talked to some girls. No results, but that's ok. I had a nice glass of wine and worked on my instagram, which is getting really good.

To celebrate my success at work, I went barhopping.

Bar 1: Had a shot, looked in terror at the meth addict bartender/ tranny, and hoped I wouldn't get shot-- fun.

Bar 2: Had one rum and ate dinner. Hope I don't get sick.

Bar 3: Had a nice half-bottle of Spanish wine, and took a moment to enjoy the simple things in life, and the beautiful tattooed bartender.

Club 1: Show up decently buzzed, and decide to smoke. I'm just having fun.. Talk to several sets, and eject because of bad vibes... Have so much fun dancing with several pretty girls. One of the girls was just grinding all over me while dancing to country western, and I just had so much fun living in the moment... Pickup doesn't have to become an obsession. I just had so much fun, but I was acting outcome independent. I don't know if you guys have heard of dancefloor jealousy game (basically where you have one or several targets you talked to, and you danced with them one, or none times and moved on) but, holy shit is it powerful. You get so many IOIs when you start having fun.

Club 2: Get some drinks in me. Approach several sets. I feel so fucking positive. Dance on the dancefloor. Enjoy conversation with friends. Talk shit. Great, even though I have no results. Dancing on the dancefloor and even the bad vibes of the girls can't get me down.

Bar 4: Run into all these old friends I know, feels like a mixture of Fight Club and Cheers. One of those types of bars. Have the time of my life connecting with all these people I know. I'm just so fucking elated... I have all the time in the world for daygame.

Strip club: I'm still happy and I go to the strip club. I meet this beautiful black girl (I'm white and not normally into black girls), and I'm just amazed by all the beauty God put on this earth. I know this sounds beta, but I told her she was beautiful, not normally my type, but I fucking love her because she is an artist by her training. I actually believe her and her story checks out from my knowledge of the world.

This is where it gets funny: I'm digging this black girl so much I see these two black guys, and I decide I want to cockblock (maybe not the right word) them, because I'm really attracted to this girl. Anyway, I'm not a bad person so I take this dude a beer and introduce myself to him, and say, hey, I'm really attracted to this girl because it's a big day for me. I just shoot the shit with this random guy and his buddy and find out we all have these similar interests. I end up chilling with them, and then going to get some dances from the black girl. They end up taking me home, and I'm just elated. I'm outcome independent and happy. This black girl I took her info and even if it doesn't materialize into a date, I'm happy.

God's green earth is freaking beautiful and I don't have to game consciously every night.

This is what I needed. This guy is a minor instagram star/ actor in decent roles. The reason I met him is just because I was having fun. Need to be more spontaneous from now on.

edit: ran into a stripper I knew at second club, she greeted me by name. Shoot, I should have taken her number at that point... She remembered all the details of our last interaction. I don't want to call myself racist, but normally not into black girls. But, I have stopped looking at porn and jerking off for about a full week. I don't know about forum opinions of other races, not trying to start a flame war, but after stopping porn and jerking off, black girls are fucking beautiful. Beautiful human beings. I will text the stripper tom. because I got her number and try to meet up with her. Great night!. I'm starting to believe all vagina is beautiful. Maybe that makes me a philanthropist. I'm blessed with all these beautiful women whether they are at coffee shops, bars, clubs, restaurants, or strip clubs. I'm starting to understand what abundance mentality means. I'm not even picturing these women in sexual ways, despite no fap... It's just so much more fun to talk with them and connect with them... Note: also worked on my kino and shit talking tonight.

I will daygame tomorrow if I'm not hungover... I just feel so freaking positive. Fuck porn, live life.

I don't know if strip clubs are a sensitive subject on the forum or not, but I just notice so many positive improvements in my life from going to the strip club and talking to these girls, shooting the shit and complimenting them. This has been so helpful to my game, even though i know they kinda work there, and have to listen. In the past month or two, I just feel so much more confident, but it is difficult to quantify it. As someone somewhere between beginner-intermediate gaming, it has eased so much of my anxiety and helped me with real world approaches. I'm not trying to get in the habit of going to strip clubs, but holy shit, i know exactly what the endgame of women is there.

I'm still young and crazy so I wouldn't mind dating a stripper if it happens naturally. Finally, any advise on stripper game guys-- I'm still pretty green at game, but having the time of my life I really like strippers, but then again I've never dated one.

Apologies if I muddled my thoughts or my approach log.

Namaste bitches!

Post: #58

Trying to be more casual about pickup, and trying to consciously do sets. Last night I went out for drinks with my wing.

I'm chilling at the bar and the cute nurse, I'd place her around 30, sits down to my left. I don't make any effort to jump into the conversation she is having, but she said something to someone about where she had been, and I just made like an off the cuff comment. So she open to that, and we got talking about traveling, medicine, etc. We vibed really well. I made the mistake of not closing the distance between us. Anyway, I told her about what I did, she got really interested, and I plugged my instagram.. She took it instantly and followed me. I guess it's a question of proximity to girls you're interested in, and her level of receptiveness. Thus, it's good to be sitting at the bar if a single girl is gonna come up.

I must have talked to her 15-20 minutes and the spark was there. Then some beta sits next to me, and then another on the other side of me. I got really annoyed by this. Anyway I continued conversation. I asked my wing for an opinion. So I dropped that we were venue hopping, made my way over to her, said nice to meet you, etc, got a hug and walked out.

We went to go buy western wear. And then I sent the girl on the info on where we were going. THis is the response I got. "Nice to me you. I'm leaving at 4am for (redacted) so I'm not sure. I'll try though! it was so great meeting you... also I'm very single! emoji FYI.

Well she was a no-show.

Some older women at the bar were lifting their shirts up for us, but maybe that's normal behavior. The bar scene here is so strange. Wing pulled another SNL, but I went home to sleep, had work.

Post: #59

Total curiosity question here, feel free to ignore if you want.

You've been doing this for about two months, right?
About how many hours and how many dollars would you say you've spent on it?

Post: #60

Man if I were you I would've stayed in order to create more rapport... and a bit of Kino!! Hopefully you've created enough for her to at least agree to a date. In your position, I'd txt this girl semi aggressively in order to see her as quickly as possible... and escalate things! Somebody's about to Smash her soon... so it might as well be you!

Post: #61

(02-06-2019 01:35 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  Total curiosity question here, feel free to ignore if you want.

You've been doing this for about two months, right?
About how many hours and how many dollars would you say you've spent on it?

Yeah, two months. At least two nights a week, probably 3 hours or so a night. Drinking like 3-4 drinks so maybe like 20 per night, maybe slightly less. Sometimes I don't separate drinking and gaming so that's a problem.

I started daygame last week, I've only done a few sets though. Today I opened a set, had good rapport etc, but I don't think I pushed through the convo enough. I should have asked her for her insta way earlier in the interaction. Anyway, so I ask for it at the end, and figure shit, she's probably lying that she doesn't have one, I'm not gonna ask for a number. This was an interaction of maybe only 10 minutes or less, but we talked about a lot.

I'm going out in a few hours to dance some and work on nightgame-- without being drunk or buzzed at all. I think i've learned some lessons. From what I've seen of my wings successes is that you have to be sure to project adequate interest and then be willing to close out... this is where many of my mistakes have been made.

(02-06-2019 04:45 PM)Captain Gh Wrote:  Man if I were you I would've stayed in order to create more rapport... and a bit of Kino!! Hopefully you've created enough for her to at least agree to a date. In your position, I'd txt this girl semi aggressively in order to see her as quickly as possible... and escalate things! Somebody's about to Smash her soon... so it might as well be you!

She jumped town the next day. I should have stayed longer with her at the first venue, done some kino, and then tried for the pull home. My mistake.

Post: #62

I am working on inner game (two weeks into nofap, minimizing computer usage, daily workouts etc)-- I realized my wing is up to 7 notches since I met him, and he's a transplant to this town, so he has only been here a few months. All things considered, what he's pulling is all over the place, but it's hard to argue against 7 notches-- almost all of them single night lays, or a lay the following night after having met them.

On Valentines day he decided he wanted to approach (I told him the set to approach) and he was still talking to them after 30 minutes, so I decided to interject. Anyway he was doing really well with this big titted blonde girl. They make out that night and the next night she drives over to her place.

I have noticed that he handles the nightclub and bar environment better than I do, and for some reason he always just looks really relaxed. I am going to have to work on that, because it seems to be working well for him.

Anyway, he pulled another girl Saturday night although I was not there. Like I said, I am going to be focusing more on inner game, and I think what I will focus on first will be handling club environments, loud environments better. As well as more of a DGAF attitude.

My work has really been killing me so I haven't had any time to game in the past few days, but maybe that's a good thing; I have been getting in way better shape.

Note: I am in better shape than my wing, noticeably, we're both white, I'm taller than him, about 6-3 or so, we both dress above average for our town, etc. We have similar faces although mine is thinner. Although he has blue eyes which i don't.

Post: #63

Keep at it man, I honestly admire your work ethic and courage to approach. I'm also on a several month dry spell but still have high approach anxiety so rarely approach but I'm working on that.

Post: #64

Keep at it mate. Ever since I got exposed to online dating 3 years ago I got a big anxiety about approaching women consistently. You're going to be a beast with the hours you're putting into approaching.

Post: #65

I appreciate it. As I get better approaching I will start daygaming more, but I am still scared shitless of it at the moment.

Post: #66

I'm on a break from game until Saturday. I can see all the places where my game has failed me so far, and I can see some of the problems. I'm happy I've been pretty religious about keeping this approach log.

1) Got going well in December, but then started burning out. As I wrote way earlier, one night I easily talked to 75 women. That was draining in a lot of ways. It was also spam approaching.

2) After burning out, I turned more towards drinking, purposely self sabotaging myself, and then rationalizing strip clubs as a way to socialize with women in a low pressure environment as messed up as that sounds.

3) Despite the fact that I need to be daygaming more, I am scared shitless of it, and have used the small size of my town as an excuse to be cautious about approaching.

4) My will to game is inversely related to how hard I am working. The harder at work I am working (pretty hard recently, had my first day off today in 10 days), the less I feel like approaching.

5) I stopped sprint training although I did increase strength training. I think that's a mixed bag, but the running definitely helped me.

6) I've started comparing myself to my wing, despite us being in completely different places mentally, physically and so on. That's sabotaged my game.

7) At some point I got worse about noticing IOIs, thus my sets have been of lower quality recently.

8) The rationalizations for not approaching decreased dramatically once i got several weeks deep into no fap, I am already looking forward to the weekend having been on nofap this time for about 2 weeks.

Finally, a common thread in my better sets. Difficulty physically escalating, thus getting numbers instead of pushing ahead. There is no reason I should repeat this again. By my account I have had at least 10 solid sets out of maybe 100 or so where I could have gotten a make-out or gotten more physical rather than getting a number. How many of those would have yielded a lay? At least one; the set were the girl approached me, we made out. I should have taken her home as soon as things clicked.

Post: #67

Have any of the numbers you gotten lead to dates? I know some guys get a lot of numbers but they never lead to anywhere.

Post: #68

OP you're getting a rep point from me for seizing life by the balls and putting in effort.

Some general short and long term suggestions.

1. You've mentioned you look similar to your wingman looks and height wise and that both of you are getting IOI's. He's pulled 7 girls while you've pulled none. Ask him for brutally honest feedback. No sugarcoating. Oftentimes, others are better at seeing our weaknesses than ourselves. Ask him for the 3 biggest turnoffs he has seen in you. Gamewise or general character wise. In my case, it was moving around the club too much. Made me look desperate and friendless.

2. Be systematic in your application of game tools. Master one or two tools or principles per month or so. For 4 weeks work on a non-chalant/relaxed but positive attitude and nothing else. Once you have that internalized work on sincerity for example. Let that marinate and then tinker with other stuff.

Knowledge is one thing, applied knowledge is another. You seem to have all this game "knowledge" which will unfortunately just rot as useless information if you're not systematic about it's application.

3. You mentioned that you're a "rootless cosmopolitan". I can see that from your writing. You seem all over the place full of restless energy. I believe you need principles, boundaries some sort of anchor in life to help you deeply relax.

4. Get a social circle. Girls evaluate men through their social circles. An ugly guy surrounded by a mixed group of men and women enjoying himself looks much more intriguing than the in-shape and good looking dude running around the bar alone.

A social circle is also the easiest way for a man to smash girls out of his league. A social circle keeps a man mentally healthy.

Only Americans seem to have this idea that a single man can shoulder the weight of the world on his own. You're not Atlas, you need good people in your life.

Good job though man and keep at it. Never give up and when life hammers you down, get back up, spit in the Devils face and dare him to respond.

Post: #69

(03-02-2019 10:32 PM)cruzinV Wrote:  Have any of the numbers you gotten lead to dates? I know some guys get a lot of numbers but they never lead to anywhere.

No. I got several numbers that were probably good, but I didn't bother following up. I figured it would be better to just write them off, and game better the next time and escalate. All things considered, I don't have the time try to close leads by text. It's too much effort for me. Anyway, if I were going to try to close numbers, it would be better if I had gotten them by daygame, because there is less flaking. But, I have not been daygaming.

(03-03-2019 01:41 AM)Not a Second Hander Wrote:  OP you're getting a rep point from me for seizing life by the balls and putting in effort.

Some general short and long term suggestions.

1. You've mentioned you look similar to your wingman looks and height wise and that both of you are getting IOI's. He's pulled 7 girls while you've pulled none. Ask him for brutally honest feedback. No sugarcoating. Oftentimes, others are better at seeing our weaknesses than ourselves. Ask him for the 3 biggest turnoffs he has seen in you. Gamewise or general character wise. In my case, it was moving around the club too much. Made me look desperate and friendless.

2. Be systematic in your application of game tools. Master one or two tools or principles per month or so. For 4 weeks work on a non-chalant/relaxed but positive attitude and nothing else. Once you have that internalized work on sincerity for example. Let that marinate and then tinker with other stuff.

Knowledge is one thing, applied knowledge is another. You seem to have all this game "knowledge" which will unfortunately just rot as useless information if you're not systematic about it's application.

3. You mentioned that you're a "rootless cosmopolitan". I can see that from your writing. You seem all over the place full of restless energy. I believe you need principles, boundaries some sort of anchor in life to help you deeply relax.

4. Get a social circle. Girls evaluate men through their social circles. An ugly guy surrounded by a mixed group of men and women enjoying himself looks much more intriguing than the in-shape and good looking dude running around the bar alone.

A social circle is also the easiest way for a man to smash girls out of his league. A social circle keeps a man mentally healthy.

Only Americans seem to have this idea that a single man can shoulder the weight of the world on his own. You're not Atlas, you need good people in your life.

Good job though man and keep at it. Never give up and when life hammers you down, get back up, spit in the Devils face and dare him to respond.

1. Yeah my wing hasn’t been gaming much anymore, he has a pussy pipeline—literally— now so I haven’t gamed in about two weeks. I will ask the next time we meet up. I suspect he’s gonna tell me that I need to relax, and be less urgent about approaching sets on any given night out… He may have already told me that.

2. Ok.

3. Yes, I am pretty restless. I don’t know what to do about it other than to workout and not drink to excess.

4. My social circle is really weak. When I’m not working I’m gaming or drinking or working out. And that’s it.

Thanks for the encouragement man.

Post: #70

I figured you weren't following up on any leads...

Are you trying to get laid actually or are you just going out to "Game"?

Post: #71

(03-03-2019 04:56 PM)Black Caesar Wrote:  I figured you weren't following up on any leads...

Are you trying to get laid actually or are you just going out to "Game"?

I tried a few and they all flaked or didn't text back.

I tried online game, Bumble even, but those flake too.

So I guess the goal at this point is a SNL.

Also, maybe build a social circle.

Post: #72

Went out tried to keep it simple.

I was with wing. We went to dance club and both battled approach anxiety... Through our social circle wing had met a blonde milf who was into him... game on! He got all the right signals. She and her friend were feeding me and wing drinks. I would take one for the team but blondies friend was missing a tooth. She plied me with drinks but didnt work. It was Milfs bday so they suggested a venue hop and hunted at an after party following that. Milf was getting drunk.

We shift to a Mexican bar and they're there. The girl was really nice and I danced with her a bit but in the meantime missed the good ratios... made the mistake or not talking to a girl I know who works at another bar. Milf was gonna fuck my friend but told him early she had hpv, so he nexted her. Some girls followed us from first venue to second. But neither of us opened them. We leave

We go back to venue 1. Those same girls end up there and neither of us open them. Huge mistake. Wing was sober I had about 4 or 5. I end up dancing with two pretty hot girls. The first had rejected me a long time ago and the second was like a 8.5 or 9 enjoyed dancing with her. Need to work more on my dancing... super easy to dance with hot girls here... the 9 was funny as hell, I cracked jokes and she cracked jokes back. My wing said that was an IOI... guess I'll be dancing more from now on... live and learn.

Post: #73

Aight guys i'm debating slump-busting right now. I'm sufficiently drunk and this fatty wants to meet up for drinks... Only question is: should I drink even more?

Post: #74

Hope you're doing well man. I'd pass on the fatty, dipping below my standards even in a dry spell always hurt my soul and made me feel like shit. If you decided to hit it, no judgement from me.

I'm locked into an LTR and skimming through this thread reminded me of the frustrations and effort required in getting fresh puss in the modern world. One could argue that it's easier than ever for a guy to get laid but sometimes it just seems mind-numbing. I don't miss some parts of it. Thanks for a dose of perspective.

I'd recommend focusing your efforts on getting into a friend group or having a cool group of guys to chill with. Whenever I went out with my buddy to "go get some puss" it almost never went well; it ended up being two dudes mass approaching and getting down. I feel like chicks can pick up on it too. I always crushed it at "night game" when I went out with my squad and the vibes were good and I wasn't initially focused on getting laid. Also got some lays from my social circle, like friends of their girlfriends and stuff.

You say you're in a small town, is moving an option? I did well when I was in school, great college town, and then I moved to another college town and slayed it. Quantity of talent, numbers on your side. It's a winning recipe.

When I was 22 I was seriously fumbling hard on this shit. Sounds like you're way ahead of me when I was your age, so keep your chin up

Post: #75

Man, you should really hit up LATAM or SEA. I feel like there is something missing and that's your hobbies...
You mention many times that you work, you got promoted and so on, but what do you actually like to do? What defines you. Work alone should never define you or you might just end up sleeping a capsule hotel and having a hologram waifu.

Without trying to offend you, it feels like you have a shallow personality. It is okay, you are young and you have time, but doesn't it also come off as desperate man; you trying to game, go out countless of times? I guess your friend has some more hobbies and has other things going on in his life and probably that's why he might have some success.

Don't worry, if you like arts or video games or just collecting post stamps, it's all about how you present it to the others and some women even find it sexy when a man gets passionate about something and it can just be collecting post stamps. I like many geeky things and yes I admit what I like and guess what women told me that they like how I talk about it passionately and that they find it attractive. Well whatever. Just be open about what you like and don't be embarrassed in being yourself.

So how about this:
You try saving some money, you travel to break that dry spell and you come back with a calm mind. A calm mind with also help you to find out what you actually want from life. It will help wonders in getting women.