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1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
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MidniteSpecial Offline
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Post: #26
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
Your ex put a spell on you. Happened to me once.

Find the nearest witch doctor to reverse it.
12-08-2013 08:20 PM
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Vaun Offline
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Post: #27
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-08-2013 08:20 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  Your ex put a spell on you. Happened to me once.

Find the nearest witch doctor to reverse it.

the downside of latinas
12-08-2013 08:42 PM
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soup Offline
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Post: #28
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-08-2013 08:42 PM)puckman Wrote:  
(12-08-2013 08:20 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  Your ex put a spell on you. Happened to me once.

Find the nearest witch doctor to reverse it.

the downside of latinas

Don't eat that salsa, she might have put period blood in it to prevent trap your libido.
12-08-2013 08:45 PM
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Vaun Offline
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Post: #29
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-08-2013 08:45 PM)soup Wrote:  
(12-08-2013 08:42 PM)puckman Wrote:  
(12-08-2013 08:20 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  Your ex put a spell on you. Happened to me once.

Find the nearest witch doctor to reverse it.

the downside of latinas

Don't eat that salsa, she might have put period blood in it to prevent trap your libido.

shes been texting me today out of the blue, she knows somethings up
12-08-2013 08:51 PM
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thegmanifesto Offline
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Post: #30
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-08-2013 08:20 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  Your ex put a spell on you. Happened to me once.

Find the nearest witch doctor to reverse it.

Need to go to New Orleans and get a Mojo Bag.

Or John the Conqueroo.

I had to do that once.








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(This post was last modified: 12-08-2013 09:06 PM by thegmanifesto.)
12-08-2013 08:57 PM
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Vaun Offline
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Post: #31
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-08-2013 08:45 PM)soup Wrote:  
(12-08-2013 08:42 PM)puckman Wrote:  
(12-08-2013 08:20 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  Your ex put a spell on you. Happened to me once.

Find the nearest witch doctor to reverse it.

the downside of latinas

Don't eat that salsa, she might have put period blood in it to prevent trap your libido.

I did think Costa Rican salsa tasted funny
(This post was last modified: 12-08-2013 09:05 PM by Vaun.)
12-08-2013 09:00 PM
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soup Offline
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Post: #32
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
All of those latinas and fiery blooded Mediterranean girls like Israelitas, Italians, Greeks etc. are the most manipulative, maniacal women on the planet, and I wouldn't be surprised if they actually did have some kind of voodoo mumbo jumbo thing where they burn your semen in secret and put period blood in your food.

That said, Jewish girls and Persian girls have provided me with some of the best sex.

So, you pay the price for good sex by being exposed to their insanity.

Add to that list Slavic girls and some Russians. There's a reason why Jewish boys are always going away from the jewish girls towards shiksas.
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2013 12:57 AM by soup.)
12-09-2013 12:54 AM
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Distant Light Offline
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Post: #33
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
Read the book "Sexual Intelligence" by Marty Klein it'll change your whole outlook on sex...

Sex happens before you even reach the bedroom, it's a mental thing, total expression/freedom. I don't want to sound all "woo woo" but when you stop thinking of THE ACT as sex then you open yourself to an INSANE SEX DRIVE. It's funny because I was turned on by the dynamics and interaction of it all that I legit turned into a sex addict...
- Fucking on roofs
- Almost jumping in a hole in the street at a construction site
- Fingering in the club
- Sex raw, on period (ate her ass)

At any moment, if I went soft it was whatever because I still have hands and mouth, she also has areas that probably have been neglected in most of her sex life. Fast foward to now, I'm SHOCKED at how I am sexually. (choking, spanking, noises, etc) Like, I don't even get HARD other than when it's "time for intercourse". Why? It's not TIME yet and so what if she's touching the whole in my jeans pressing on my dick. It isn't TIME TO GET HARD. Yes, i have a dick, its soft right now because it isn't TIME.

Then we actually fuck, and fuck more, and fuck more...See thing is you can't stop because your mind is indulging in the whole experience. One girl I used to bang who used to get off by her MEN getting off. WITH ME, she used to get off by the fact that I simply couldn't stop fucking her. We'd have 1 session, 2mins later I'm ready again...By round 5 she'd be like WTF!?!?! Two weeks later, she adapted and became the one who constantly wanted to go another round hahahaha.

In a nutshell the book talks about changing your outlook on sex, really was an eye opener since everyone aspires to have NORMAL SEX, what is "normal" sex? That could be answered with all the common doubts, worries, fears of sex.

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12-09-2013 04:45 AM
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Vendetta Offline
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Post: #34
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-09-2013 04:45 AM)Distant Light Wrote:  Read the book "Sexual Intelligence" by Marty Klein it'll change your whole outlook on sex...

Sex happens before you even reach the bedroom, it's a mental thing, total expression/freedom. I don't want to sound all "woo woo" but when you stop thinking of THE ACT as sex then you open yourself to an INSANE SEX DRIVE. It's funny because I was turned on by the dynamics and interaction of it all that I legit turned into a sex addict...
- Fucking on roofs
- Almost jumping in a hole in the street at a construction site
- Fingering in the club
- Sex raw, on period (ate her ass)

At any moment, if I went soft it was whatever because I still have hands and mouth, she also has areas that probably have been neglected in most of her sex life. Fast foward to now, I'm SHOCKED at how I am sexually. (choking, spanking, noises, etc) Like, I don't even get HARD other than when it's "time for intercourse". Why? It's not TIME yet and so what if she's touching the whole in my jeans pressing on my dick. It isn't TIME TO GET HARD. Yes, i have a dick, its soft right now because it isn't TIME.

Then we actually fuck, and fuck more, and fuck more...See thing is you can't stop because your mind is indulging in the whole experience. One girl I used to bang who used to get off by her MEN getting off. WITH ME, she used to get off by the fact that I simply couldn't stop fucking her. We'd have 1 session, 2mins later I'm ready again...By round 5 she'd be like WTF!?!?! Two weeks later, she adapted and became the one who constantly wanted to go another round hahahaha.

In a nutshell the book talks about changing your outlook on sex, really was an eye opener since everyone aspires to have NORMAL SEX, what is "normal" sex? That could be answered with all the common doubts, worries, fears of sex.

Interesting - some similar thoughts have been crossing my mind recently (and I too went through the no boner phase - condoms don't help, that's for sure)

I have mostly given up porn, no wanking. I think that helps. Also, by your 30s, it's just not as exciting as it was in your teens! You've been there, done that. It's normal I would think not to get a boner.

Anyway - tell her to give you a BJ. A good BJ should fix any boner problem.
12-09-2013 04:50 AM
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Windom Earle Offline
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Post: #35
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
It could be one or a combination of things. I’ve experienced the exact same thing you mention OP.

Without a doubt, alcohol is a factor, and for me, it doesn’t even have to be excessive these days. Up until my 30’s (I’m 35 now), alcohol was not a factor at all. I could drink as much as I like and still fuck like a champion. Hell, I passed out after having sex one night and ended up pissing the bed because I was so full of alcohol. So, alcohol is definitely a libido killer as you age, and to top it off, if you are a little bit anxious, you’re going to be conscious of your bladder filling, and I believe pissing, especially immediately before sex plays some sort of havoc on your dick/mind responding to sexual stimulus. Even Cialis hasn’t helped me in this situation.

As of a couple of months ago, after a whiskey dick scenario in which I literally blew it with a great girl, I’ve given up alcohol. If I can remove a potential problem, I'm going to do just that, and besides, hangovers suck for me these days. She simply couldn’t understand and totally withdrew emotionally and left my place soon after, even though I explicitly told her it was the alcohol, not me somehow rejecting her. It didn’t help that she refused to suck my dick to help out…which I agree with previous posters, can revive things and get you going.

To comment further on Cialis, I regularly use it when having sex with new girls for the first time, sometimes second time to be sure. Not only does it ease the performance anxiety, but I believe there is, to an extent, a conditioning of the mind that takes place. You associate getting hard with the sight and smell of a particular chick, and your mind gives you the ok to continue doing that. We all know that a hot chick on paper doesn’t always correspond to instant and sustained wood, as much as you logically want it to be so. There definitely is deeper shit going on, on a sub-conscious or chemical level.

I have not had any problem graduating from a Cialis fuck to a no Cialis fuck with the same girl. As previously stated, it’s as if I’ve given myself licence to be ultra-relaxed and get into it on a more animalistic level – which is essentially what we strive for to achieve the best experience.

Here’s an interesting scenario too. I’d been texting a squirter earlier this year, negotiating a meet up. She was the type that liked to organise things spontaneously, which meant a couple of hours prior. One night, I’d fapped, and I got a text from her to meet up soon after. I thought, fuck it, I’m still going for the notch (pre Cialis days too). Squirting is a powerful thing my friends, almost like the ultimate ego stroke for a male – so in this instance I was uber hard, and actually blasted pretty damn quickly, raw and inside, which helped as well.

So, to summarise, in my experience it’s one or more of the following:

• Alcohol (combined with ageing)

• Performance anxiety (exacerbated by non-familiarity with a new girl)

• Not connecting on a sexual/sub conscious level (despite text-book hotness on display)

• Consciously or sub-consciously not feeling you’re able to be dominant (maybe there’s some power dynamics going on, she has a more prestigious job or makes you feel inferior overall somehow(?) - essentially, ego related)

• Not having your affections reciprocated (girl just not getting into it, physically or verbally)

• Low testosterone/libido (which does not necessary correlate to excessive fapping/porn)

• Condoms and their sensitivity reduction (or the thought of putting one on, denying you an opportunity to blast inside, even if you don’t plan on doing so)
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2013 07:14 AM by Windom Earle.)
12-09-2013 06:49 AM
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Catch 22 Offline
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Post: #36
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
Condom + not super into her + jacking it recently is a bad combo. If you're going to have to use a condom and she's not hot AND good in bed, then I'd not fap for at least a day or two beforehand.
06-12-2014 03:06 AM
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MtnMan Offline
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Post: #37
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
OP, I have experienced a very similar thing when fucking my ex and other girls concurrently. (ex also happened to be a latina)
I think my issue was the ex sex is taboo and familiar, it is a hot combination. Plus I was rawdogging the ex an using condoms with the new girls.

I solved the issue by going legit NC on the ex and cutting her out of my life for good. The more I bang other girls the more used to condoms I get and the less issues I have. Also I use the plan-V method just in case.

Booze does not help, and FAPing does not help. I don't really fap or look at porn anymore. That has helped the situation some.
06-12-2014 10:29 AM
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Post: #38
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
Same thing used to happen to me from time to time. I could never perform well with one night stand girls. It's like my bodies way of telling me that I should be more careful.

I know this goes against most of the forum logic but I'd recommend waiting until date three or four to go for the bang. I've always found it better sleeping with women where's there some rapport and comfort built.
06-12-2014 10:33 AM
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Post: #39
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
Have you tried doing some deep lunging squats while yodeling right before sex?
Probably won't help but it would look hilarious.

Seriously though, was your ex a creepy old gypsy? This sounds like black magic.

But for real.
Totally psychological. I come way faster with girls I like vs ones I wouldn't feel bad at the funeral for.
I'd suggest either building a connection first, or drugging yourself into bonerville and waning off the pills once youve conquered the cumulative nerves from prior failures.

If I'm having trouble with stamina, I'll down some pain pills before sex a few times (you last forever) to rebuild confidence and remove the mental aspects of problems.
Get some Viagra/cialis and try the same.
Or L Arginine from a supplement store or online in bulk powder form (ideal for cost efficiency). Stuff is a vasodialtor and while its primarily for lifting, it helps with erections too. Had a buddy who used to keep an emergency drink with a lot of it mixed in in his truck.
He swore by it, its cheap, and I've heard a lot of people say the same.

Also, never had better wood than when I was running all the time. If you dont already, bring some cardio into your gym routine. It does wonders.
(This post was last modified: 06-12-2014 11:47 AM by LaserBear.)
06-12-2014 11:46 AM
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MdWanderer Offline
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Post: #40
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(06-12-2014 10:33 AM)cmrocks Wrote:  I know this goes against most of the forum logic but I'd recommend waiting until date three or four to go for the bang. I've always found it better sleeping with women where's there some rapport and comfort built.

But won't that label you as the 'nice guy' and hurt your chances even more? Not trying to be argumentative, it's just something I've been wrestling with.
06-29-2014 09:03 PM
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jamaicabound Offline
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Post: #41
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
I definatley think its mental, especially if you didn't have any problems with another chick. I've run into the same thing when seeing a chick behind another chicks back. I dont think guilt so much as maybe worried about getting caught but none the less psychological affecting your junk.

I also notice I sometimes come too quick wiht a new chick where as iwth a regular chick I can go pretty much as long as I want. I can actually feel a physiological change in my body. An added excitement, different feeling in my chest, stomach, even my dick. I can feel it comming on but still working on how to level myself out or chillout.

Its only going to get worse if its something your worried about happening then it will happen. Maybe try to find a regular chick or chick you been with before and get your confidence back
(This post was last modified: 06-29-2014 10:29 PM by jamaicabound.)
06-29-2014 10:29 PM
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Post: #42
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
Pretty weird that this thread popped up. The Moroccan somehow popped up into my news feed, very weird how social media now has all of these hooks to suck in any contact data off of your phones. She's still here in NYC, and after our last night together, I let her go. I didn't follow up after my drunken/nervous performance. She didnt either. Problem is I really like this girl, international, smart, unlike anything here. Not oneitus, but one to keep around.

Question - how about a restarter text after six months? I didnt follow up after my stellar performance. I doubt it will go anywhere, but who cares.
06-30-2014 09:10 PM
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From Vegas to Tokyo Offline
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Post: #43
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(12-08-2013 10:04 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  You might be suffering from low testosterone.

go get your bloodwork done. At 35, you're not nearly as hormonal as you were when you were 25. Go read danger and play for more information:

dangerandplay.com

Also, try not jerking it as much. even at 18 i don't think i was jerking it that much. Whether or not jerking it has to do with your test levels is up for discussion, but it for sure affects your performance in bed.

Lastly, don't worry, have fun, and if you cant get it up, doesn't really matter. Stress can be a factor too.
06-30-2014 09:56 PM
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Post: #44
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
This is definitely a real thing.

Often I'm with a brand new girl who I know I want to smash at all costs, but my dick refuses to cooperate even though I was full on hard while kissing her just a few minutes ago. Sometimes it's performance anxiety, but most times she's so shy (but definitely willing) that these stupid modern ideas about the way consent should work screw up my concentration. I think the best 1st bangs always come with women who are good passionate deep kissers, are touching you as much as you touch them and generally are really into what’s happening and about to happen. The opposite does exist too, where the girl wants mindless sex so blatantly, that your slut radar starts beeping and it actually turns you off.

But generally, some girls need longer to really get going with a new guy. This can depend on a number of factors. When her period will come, how much time has passed since her last bang, if she feels she's being a slut by putting out too soon, her age, if she is a virgin, if she has a lot of negative past experiences with guys, and even if she secretly has another boyfriend (husband ?) that she feels guilty about cheating on, etc, etc.

Yes, I know it's MY job to turn her on so much that she's got a tsunami between her legs and can't think about anything else except getting fucked good, but from experience I've done the exact same escalation techniques with different girls with different results. Some get wild and can’t wait another second for it while others still are nervous and just not fully ready. The way they are reacting to my escalation that 1st time definitely has an influence on the stiffness of my boner. So, while I try to make the first bang one she will remember for a long time, sometimes it just takes a few more dates (with bangs) before she'll unleash with you. However, don't be complacent. If she's turning you on good, then always be escalating and pushing each time you see her.

As for getting fully hard instantly for your ex girlfriends this is also very true. There are a few girls I know from my teenage years (some now married) in their 30s that I still see occasionally who are still attractive and bangable today. Some girls just know what turns a guy on and never stop looking, dressing and acting in a feminine way that makes me hard. These girls from my past have been giving me instant rock hard boners for more than 15 years.

It's an outstanding achievement for the same woman to inspire you to an instant hard erection for more than 10 years after first banging her.

These women deserve some kind of recognition.
I propose an award system for any woman that has made your dick consistently hard for more than a decade.
In a new thread perhaps ?
10-20-2015 08:47 AM
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Sexus Offline
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Post: #45
RE: 1st Lays I'm soft, with ex-gf I'm ROCK HARD. Is this mental??
(10-20-2015 08:47 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  Sometimes it's performance anxiety, but most times she's so shy (but definitely willing) that these stupid modern ideas about the way consent should work screw up my concentration.

Meditation (dare I say Yoga?) helps supremely with concentration and barreling through the walls of internal opposition. It should be practiced with the same discipline as physical training.

That said, a jolt of legally prescribed Viagra doesn't hurt... but it must be kept in focus that the woman that is the target of the fuck is only a distraction and thus a wandering mind only tends to devalue the passion of the moment and how she responds to commands and her requests for additional pleasures are accepted and acted upon.

And, of course, as was said earlier: if you had a few 9's and can't get it up for a cute 7, that is your internal problem in the sense that you have lost sight of the goal of your interaction.

(See the music thread (in about 12-minutes from now) for a nice parlay of this matter.)
(This post was last modified: 10-22-2015 10:59 PM by Sexus.)
10-22-2015 10:13 PM
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