Post: #26

You really should go check out one of the pussy paradise areas. Since you are eastern european you will do well in latin america or south east asia. Spend a few months in one of those places and the notches you get will raise your confidence 100%

Post: #27

Getting a few easy notches under your belt won't do shit to you if your confidence is low. People don't seem to get it, but a loser is still a loser no matter how many notches he get, unless he changes his mindset. Low self-esteem/confidence eat away at your soul and turn every victory into a doubt. I remember in November I got some identity crisis and I rationalized all my lays as me "getting lucky", while it is clear that I worked hard and gamed well for those win.

OP, quit giving a fuck about what girls say they like. They have no fucking clue. Girls are like children: they like to have fun, shiny things, and not having responsibility. If you can answer those needs you are fine in their book. Shit even men make exceptions all the time. I only ever gamed white girl but my last LTR was Korean.

Now, there are confident guys who JUST HAPPENS to be tall or short. Or average. It is true that those confident guys tend to be taller because having a physical dominance over people tend to make you feel more powerful, but being tall in and of itself is only attractive to a very small % of the population.

My two roomates during college, 1 was 6"6 and another 6"4. The 6"6 one had to request an extra large bed lol. He was the most miserable guy I ever knew: shy, awkward, super-clingy and creepy. Couldn't finish 3rd year of college because he misses his family too much. The other roomate not only is tall but is ripped and have a 6 pack but is also clueless with woman, so much that he opted out of the game altogether and focuses his entire time on his career. For the 3 years I roomed with him he never took a girl back to our place nor any came to visit him.

We should be smart enough to know that appearance matters but it's only a small variable among all the factors that we can control. And shit there's so many aspects of appearance that you can maximize.

Post: #28

thank you guys. You said about changing mindset. What mindset should I have? That I'm better than everyone? I had that mindset in highschool and helped, but I was still shy, timid guy. I don't know I can pull that of at my age.

What's the mindset of a player like el mechanico, gmanifesto,giovanny, mcqueen and other on this forum?

Post: #29

(01-16-2015 04:07 AM)bewater Wrote:  thank you guys. You said about changing mindset. What mindset should I have? That I'm better than everyone? I had that mindset in highschool and helped, but I was still shy, timid guy. I don't know I can pull that of at my age.

What's the mindset of a player like el mechanico, gmanifesto,giovanny, mcqueen and other on this forum?

No. You do not want to swing all the way to the other side of the spectrum from nice pushover to arrogant asshole. It will come off as forced.

Focus on doing things that are in your own best interest. The cute/hot girlfriend? She sounds like an emotional drain that's not worth more than being a fuck buddy.

I know this type of girl. They latch on to someone that they perceive as below them, because they are controlling, have no self esteem, and they like to think that you don't have any better options. Your relationship with this girl isn't going to last forever anyways, so you might as well end it on your terms and force yourself to learn some game. At the very least I would tell her that you want to take a break, it will drive her controlling personality nuts and you'll be able to pursue other women without having her on the back of your mind.

In addition, you need to learn outcome independence and stop comparing your results to your other friends. Who cares if 9 out of 10 hot girls think you're short. Meeting that 10th hot girl and banging her brains out will make all the approaches worth it.

Post: #30

Alcohol.

Post: #31

The other guys have good suggestions. Lift. #1. Let me add to that, because I think your belief system is conflicting with reality, which is where breakthroughs usually take place. I tried to keep this succinct.

(01-14-2015 10:51 AM)bewater Wrote:  Thanks guys. I know I'm in a very bad place(mentally) right now. I even go to FB and look for hot gfs than look to see how tall their BFs are. I'm just sick of thinking that I need to work 2 years on game to get to a point where I can even up a 6'0 guy with wide shoulders and no game.

You can't. There's no such thing as being "even up". If you're comparing to another guy or guys, you're losing. You already know that, so let's continue...

Quote:How can I say I'm the best in a venue and have killer confidence when knowing that the girls are more attracted to the taller, thicker guys and not me, even I spit game like mad???

You can't say that because you're not the best. You'll can practice basketball as much as you want and you'll never be better than Jordan. None of the guys on this forum will ever be Leo DiCaprio. And in most venues, *maybe* for the rest of your life, there will be at least one guy the girls find more physically attractive than you.

How do you get over it? Look around. Guys are still getting laid. Ugly, boring dudes are still getting laid. They're walking around with attractive girlfriends all over.

Remember what Seinfeld says, "Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it."

But how is this possible, if chics see TallDarkHandsome and want to fuck him? Usually, because he doesn't approach. He doesn't show any interest. And if he does approach and show interest, hottie may not reciprocate, for whatever reason. I have a few really close friends who are naturals...they get turned down all the time. Maybe it's her mood, maybe she doesn't wanna be a pumpndump, whatever.

Quote:Game won't bypass looks...

Wrong. That's exactly what game does. It won't beat looks. It sidesteps around looks.

Even if she still wishes TallDarkHandsome had picked her...
You happened to say hi and caught her in a brief lonely moment, so...
she talked to you and liked you, so
now she's asking you to cum on her tits.
That's how game works.

Meanwhile, TallDarkHandsome went home with a different hot chic...
Mr Millionaire didn't approach any chics and is at home masturbating to porn...
and you "got lucky" and landed a reasonably attractive chic for the evening. Bull shit. You said hi. And that's all it took.

Quote:You guys, with genetic limitations(like height, body), how do you get the confidence? How do you make to feel entitled of fucking hot girls over 8 when you clearly see that they always hang out/fuck/relationship with guys better looking/taller/thicker than you? When you don't have that proof from reality, how the fuck you can be confident and approach them?

Ok, I'll answer the question as stated. I'm 5'9" 160, ding.
(1) I get confidence with drugs, dopamine and testosterone to name a couple, ie lift, exercise, and social = drug high.
(2) I never feel entitled to fuck hot girls. I'm not sure Jordan ever felt entitled to six championships either, but he was still a badass confident player.
(3) Use what works, usually what you can own. If you don't have that proof from reality, go over and say, "hi" or "I never do this, and I'm embarrassed, but I wanted to say hi...and those are lovely shoes". I bet simply being honest with yourself will give you confidence to say that confidently.

Post: #32

(01-16-2015 05:37 PM)heavy Wrote:  The other guys have good suggestions. Lift. #1. Let me add to that, because I think your belief system is conflicting with reality, which is where breakthroughs usually take place. I tried to keep this succinct.

(01-14-2015 10:51 AM)bewater Wrote:  Thanks guys. I know I'm in a very bad place(mentally) right now. I even go to FB and look for hot gfs than look to see how tall their BFs are. I'm just sick of thinking that I need to work 2 years on game to get to a point where I can even up a 6'0 guy with wide shoulders and no game.

You can't. There's no such thing as being "even up". If you're comparing to another guy or guys, you're losing. You already know that, so let's continue...

Quote:How can I say I'm the best in a venue and have killer confidence when knowing that the girls are more attracted to the taller, thicker guys and not me, even I spit game like mad???

You can't say that because you're not the best. You'll can practice basketball as much as you want and you'll never be better than Jordan. None of the guys on this forum will ever be Leo DiCaprio. And in most venues, *maybe* for the rest of your life, there will be at least one guy the girls find more physically attractive than you.

How do you get over it? Look around. Guys are still getting laid. Ugly, boring dudes are still getting laid. They're walking around with attractive girlfriends all over.

Remember what Seinfeld says, "Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it."

But how is this possible, if chics see TallDarkHandsome and want to fuck him? Usually, because he doesn't approach. He doesn't show any interest. And if he does approach and show interest, hottie may not reciprocate, for whatever reason. I have a few really close friends who are naturals...they get turned down all the time. Maybe it's her mood, maybe she doesn't wanna be a pumpndump, whatever.

Quote:Game won't bypass looks...

Wrong. That's exactly what game does. It won't beat looks. It sidesteps around looks.

Even if she still wishes TallDarkHandsome had picked her...
You happened to say hi and caught her in a brief lonely moment, so...
she talked to you and liked you, so
now she's asking you to cum on her tits.
That's how game works.

Meanwhile, TallDarkHandsome went home with a different hot chic...
Mr Millionaire didn't approach any chics and is at home masturbating to porn...
and you "got lucky" and landed a reasonably attractive chic for the evening. Bull shit. You said hi. And that's all it took.

Quote:You guys, with genetic limitations(like height, body), how do you get the confidence? How do you make to feel entitled of fucking hot girls over 8 when you clearly see that they always hang out/fuck/relationship with guys better looking/taller/thicker than you? When you don't have that proof from reality, how the fuck you can be confident and approach them?

Ok, I'll answer the question as stated. I'm 5'9" 160, ding.
(1) I get confidence with drugs, dopamine and testosterone to name a couple, ie lift, exercise, and social = drug high.
(2) I never feel entitled to fuck hot girls. I'm not sure Jordan ever felt entitled to six championships either, but he was still a badass confident player.
(3) Use what works, usually what you can own. If you don't have that proof from reality, go over and say, "hi" or "I never do this, and I'm embarrassed, but I wanted to say hi...and those are lovely shoes". I bet simply being honest with yourself will give you confidence to say that confidently.

Really liked this post. I was wondering if you could elaborate about item number two and feeling entitled? I always thought that thinking you deserve it is part of the process.

Post: #33

(01-17-2015 04:31 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  Really liked this post. I was wondering if you could elaborate about item number two and feeling entitled? I always thought that thinking you deserve it is part of the process.

I think what his major point is that when you approach a hot bitch and game her, at no point are you entitled to have her. Yes, you ideally should have lots of confidence that you'll get the # and in no time she'll be riding your dick, but that is hardly a done deal before it happens.

So the idea of being entitled isn't really correct or a good mindset to have with game. You put in the work, you improve yourself as much as possible, and then your results are simply just what you deserve. Then, if you end up not being happy with these results, change what you're doing and don't just expect them to get better by doing the same thing over and over again.

I'm not sure if other members feel this way but the word "entitlement" is more than just thinking you deserve something. It's thinking that you deserve something even if you haven't really done anything whatsoever to deserve it. If you don't have the balls to approach the hot girl, you don't deserve her anyways. So "entitlement" has nothing to do with it.

Post: #34

thanks guys, lot of good advice.

I was thinking lately about why confident guys do so better even on things they do for the first time, like they are confident on another field/segment/experience, but they are still confident on a new thing when they don't have any experience...so the confidence is not based on real data, just a state of mind. If you think logically, even if you have many notches and experience, there are still so many incontrolable variables that fuck it up, so of course you can't know for sure that you'll get the girl...so confidence even in this case is no real. You're confident that you have a chance, but even so the chance is low...so even the super confident guys, a most part is just delusional confidence.

BUT, what I realized, is that, even if your chances are very low, you MUST think that you can win, otherwise those minimal chances will be much lower or 0. Why? Because if you logically think, "well I have only 2% real chances of success" you are telling your mind and body to not give everything(100%) for those 2%. If you don't give everything, full thrust, those 2% will become 1%,0.5% or even 0, instead of increasing the odds.

Besides that, if you are not confident that you can win, even on low probability, you might not even try. That's why confidence and thinking positively is so important in life.

I think I found my winning mindset. This delusional confidence(but having at least some place in reality and not being totally stupid), is the only way to increase the odds(or not decrease them even more) when the they are low, in business, girls, life etc...

Take example startup millionaires, many of them are because of right timing, right place, right people etc... Do you think Zuckerberg, Jobs, Gates and lots of others would reach that fortune if they thought "well, the chances are so low to succeed, I better do something else with my time"? The odds were low indeed, but they didn't fuck them up, they couldn't possibly make their mind/body work at 100% force if they thought that about the low odds and how unlikely is for them to succeed. They had delusional confidence.

What delusional confidence does is increasing the odds or doesn't decrease them. But I repeat, if the outcome doesn't worth the effort or you can use the energy on another project with better odds and similar outcome, than pick the better odds.

Post: #35

(01-17-2015 06:52 PM)bewater Wrote:  thanks guys, lot of good advice.

I was thinking lately about why confident guys do so better even on things they do for the first time, like they are confident on another field/segment/experience, but they are still confident on a new thing when they don't have any experience.

I know VERY FEW people who are like that. Even fewer young guys. Most of the time it's either some old guy who has a very established life and very sure of himself so he no longer fears any new situation. Or a young guy with extremely good look.

It's very easy to mistake bravado for confidence. You players can feel it, girls can definitely feel it, but men in general are horrible at detecting fake confidence.

That's why this forum encourages self-development so much. Without real, solid achievements and things to be proud of it's very hard to have a confident mindset no matter how much you try to trick your brain.

Post: #36

When I was in college, I was 6'6 195lbs. Now, I am 6'6 240lbs. I couldn't put on weight to save my life. I started a new diet, went to the gym and now feel and look better than I ever have in my entire life. You just need to go on a work out regimen as well as a diet plan that fits your profile and your body. Go see a dietician. They will assess what is appropriate for you to eat...given your body type and metabolism. Once you put on some muscle, your confidence will rise tremendously. Look at yourself in the mirror. If you like what you see, girls will like what they see.

Post: #37

I am 6'3. I remember how once a hot blonde shooed me away for a 5'4 jacked up asian dude who wasn't even good looking. At that time, I wasn't as confident as the way I am right now. I personally think height and looks don't matter that much. You just have to game hard, be confident and never show neediness.

Post: #38

(01-14-2015 03:50 AM)bewater Wrote:  Hello,

I'm glad to be here and seems that forum is amazing. I read lots of posts and see guys evolve over time and I hope you can help me. I know it's a long post, but somebody may read it and give some help.

My background/look
- I'm 24, from Eastern Europe, 5'9(175cm) height, 150lbs, skinny but with belly and some fat. Not in shape at all, I don't lift.

I stopped reading here.

Go to the gym.

Report back in 3 weeks.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #39

(01-17-2015 05:55 PM)tallandblonde Wrote:  Really liked this post. I was wondering if you could elaborate about item number two and feeling entitled? I always thought that thinking you deserve it is part of the process.

There's no agreement that if you make enough money or approach enough women or say this or that line that you'll get laid. Feeling entitled in regards to a person, even a woman (ha, funny), is a needy attitude.

Hell, even professionally, I would never want to do business with a guy who thinks he deserves a my business. He may deserve it because he has a great product or service, but if *he feels* he deserves my business, it would make me nervous. A feeling of "deserving" stems from insecurity, possibly even lack of self-respect.

...
Here's a story of one of my less proud moments but I feel is applicable. When I was in Chicago last month I hooked up with this girl who was visiting from Florida. I hung out with her for hours, bouncing between neighborhoods and bar hopping, finally making it back to where I was staying. I was gaming her like a pro. However, back at my place, she LMR'd me, and in my drunken state, I got pissed and responded with "We hang out all evening, make out, you come back, and we're just going to go to sleep?"

An interesting thing happened. I let her know my feelings, that whether we have sex or not won't change whether or not we see each other again, then I admitted "Ok fine, at least I cleared the air, I wanted to have sex with you, but I guess we aren't, so goodnight." And I meant it. Once I vented that, I accepted it.

And she proceeded to fuck my brains out. Why? I faced my my neediness head on and lost the attitude, and she luv'd me for it. She loved that I was willing to address my shitty attitude and admit I didn't "deserve" fucking her. That she wasn't an reward after a big race, but a person. She's a person, and despite her choice of coming up to my bedroom, it's still her choice to have or not have sex, and it's arrogant (not confident) of me to presume it's just my choice out of that attitude of "entitlement".
...

So yeah, I'm honored to be selected out of all you other dicks out there to be the guy to take her to pound town. Do I feel I deserve it? Not really. That's like saying I deserve to have a friend help me fix my car because I helped him build his fence. A very outcome-dependent attitude.

Hope that helps. People who feel they're entitled to things in life are fucking losers.

Edit: It's probably not confidence you have an issue with. You probably feel life's not fair and you deserve better. That's creates internal conflict because part of you is saying you're awesome enough to have a better life, while at the same time saying you're short and balding and an ectomorph and a loser (your words, not mine).

Own that shit. I've been there, I had to own my shortcomings, and it's really liberating.

Post: #40

(01-14-2015 03:50 AM)bewater Wrote:  Hello,

I'm glad to be here and seems that forum is amazing. I read lots of posts and see guys evolve over time and I hope you can help me. I know it's a long post, but somebody may read it and give some help.

My background/look
- I'm 24, from Eastern Europe, 5'9(175cm) height, 150lbs, skinny but with belly and some fat. Not in shape at all, I don't lift.
- I had only 3 notches before my last LTR

Protip: Then lift. Start by doing pushups if you're afraid of the gym.

The issues/Confidence killers
I "studied" game 4 years ago after seeing Mystery's PUA show. I read the game and lots of materials about it. I got extremely confident thinking that will solve all my girls problems and everything is psychology and looks don't matter at all. For about 2 years I was happy knowing that if I learn more game I will bang lots of hotties.

However, after the first year, after pure luck, on a party I hooked up with a solid 8 who just get out of a relationship with a guy who cheated on her. She had self-esteem issues after that and because of a mutual(girl) friend we got together in a LTR. He put me wait 1.5 months for sex, but being so hot I though the wait is worth. I had ED issues for about a year...she was crazy horny and I couldn't get it up, everything was mental because I didn't have sexual experience and she was very hot and experienced. Anyway, after a year things got much better, even now I have some issues in some positions. This killed my confidence but I get passed that.

You need to reevaluate your self concepts. The issue with Mystery and any game methodology is that NONE OF IT matters if you don't put it into practice. What is the point in owning a high end sports car if you don't know how to drive it? Until you learn how to drive it, it will not be of any value.

The main problem now is my self image.

Issue 1: Height
My gf is 5'3 and she told me numerous times how much she likes tall guys. I found her gazing at taller guys in clubs or smiling...she fucking gets wet when a tall guy hits on her. At that time, I didn't pay attention because I thought she just has some strange fetish, but I asked some female friends and their answer hit me. They all rant about how attracted are by tall guys(over 180-185), how hot they are, etc. I got online and researched the subject and what I found hit me even harder. Than I went out with a taller friend(6'2) and I hit first on 10 girls with same opener than he hits on them with same opener(nothing special, something very usual) just after me. Fuck, I got blown 10 times in 3 minutes, he got 2 numbers and 1 lay from the same girls. I looked how girls eyes light up when they saw my friend and I was devastated.

Girls DO PUT A LOT weight ON HEIGHT... A LOT, like 40% in cold approach especially.

Being in the 5'9 range myself, you are silly. Yes women find height attractive, but the average woman is also shorter than 5'9, thus making you taller then most women. In addition, if your girlfriend really found you alpha she wouldn't give a fuck about your height. I've been with many really tall women even, and they dont' give a fuck. Even your story about getting blown out, god fuck. You know why your tall buddy got those numbers? Because your tall buddy doesn't give a fuck. I can almost gaurentee that you are anxious and desperately hoping a woman will receive you. Why does this matter? You are a man, men do not fall victim to using men's percieved differences as success metrics, men work on improving their own lives until they get the success they feel they deserve no matter what others are doing.

For the last 1.5 years I get obsessed by height, I read online everything I can about it and looking for short skinny guys with success in girls...but I couldn't found any. Game seems to not help this.

I don't know what to do. I already wear 2 inch lifts but that's all I can do. My gf is still very hot, but everytime I go in a club and a taller guy hits on her I become very nervous and anxious. I love clubs but now, when I'm with my gf, I'm fucking scared...I feel like shit...like I can't be a man to protect her, especially when I know she likes tall guys.

Continue acting like this and she will cheat on you, or leave you. You are too insecure. 2 inch lifts? You kidding me? I know dudes who are 5'5 pulling ass you couldn't imagine; guess how they did this? Oh yeah, they don't give a fuck. If men are hitting on your girl in front of you, it's probably because they think you're her platonic friend. How you carry yourself matters, and I can tell by this post you carry yourself as being fearful of the world.

Issue 2: Slim built
I'm an ectomorph. I got to a gym a few times but no gains. The main problem is I have a very small frame. Narrow shoulders, small hands and so on. And also being on the short side....kills me. How much can I gain in shoulders with in 1 year of gym?

Muscle gainers work, but only if you're willing to work hard for it. In addition, stop focusing on getting bigger, better, etc. Just know that being in shape gives you an edge in terms of mental and physical. Strength is not always physically present to people, but knowing you have strength is a good confidence booster. I suggest starting there.

Issue 3: Balding
Like is not enough, I'm starting to go bald and shaved head looks horrible on me.

Try some Fenugreek and Biotin. Alternatively, go with the shaved head look. Even if you think it looks meh, it scores you intimidation points which are useful tools when you go out gaming women.


Now, I don't know how much of you read all, but my confidence is 0 right now. The irony is, I still have that hot GF from 3 years ago which makes me feel even worse since I know I can't get a girl hot as her in a short time or even ever. And as you expect, I'm also jealous and insecure in relationship.

What the heck do I need to do to turn my life over? Anyone in my situation?
I'm also introvert and logical, maybe that's why I researched/analyzed so much about height. It was so good when I thought looks don't matter and game was everything. Game seems that won't help you too much if your look is shit. I know that a lot of stuff is mental, but I don't know how to get pass that.

You will not change unless you truly, deeply, want to. Get over this stage of reading pick up books/forums and hoping to gain some sort of magic bullet that will pierce through all your hard ships. You need to approach life head on. If you're anxious about something, force yourself into these situations until you become accustomed to them and get over them. I look back on past anxieties I had about inadequacies, and you know what? I don't evaluate them in any way anymore, because based off of my lifestyle, they simply don't matter, and that is something you will learn in time granted you make progressive life changes. Why are you stressing over something you cannot change? Height is only a small factor for someone in your shoes, you are 5'9, this will be a small aspect of why women dislike you. Status trumps looks. Carry yourself as having high status, and women will value you for your status. You get as much out of game as you put into it. Stop letting silly shit hamper your progress as a human.

Post: #41

I'm sure someone already said it, but work on your fitness. What's nice is that you have identified all your problems, so you're definitely self-aware. Your next step is to get your body in order. Your health sounds poor and it will haunt you until you fix it. Pick up a copy of starting strength, buy some protein powder and start working on your body. You'll probably get a nice "buzz" from the work out and thatll help you gain momentum to fix the other sides of your life.

Hope this helps.

Post: #42

Thanks a lot guys.

I've made some plans for the next months:
- buy protein powder and hit the gym hard. I'll be eating a lot and follow a program for 3 months. I hope to see some changes so I can keep myself motivated to continue.
- buy and try finasteride for my hairloss. Many had sexual side effects but I hope I won't be one of them.
- get into salsa class or public speaking to get more social.
- build a new social circle with valuable people and hot girls
- work on my business at least 6 hours/day

I'll also train to get out of bad and insecure thoughts when they happen, they only make me feel bad and inferior. I'll try to keep the mindset of having a "winner" attitude even when odds of success is low, just because I know if my attitude would be on the same low level of the odds I have to succeed, then the real chance of success will be even lower.

Post: #43

As for me, i suspect confidence comes from achievement. In those times when i felt less confident, i set out to succeed at something. It can be a hobby (if you do not have one, get one) it can be kicking ass in a test or making a great sale with a client that initially said no. The point is to focus on positive success. Success/achievement builds confidence. For some guys,"fake it till you make it" works. For me, it never did. I was too easily derailed. These days, my confidence comes from all the experience i have from the successes i have had. I constantly remind myself that, i do when others talk.

Post: #44

(01-20-2015 03:21 PM)Raitheon Wrote:  As for me, i suspect confidence comes from achievement. In those times when i felt less confident, i set out to succeed at something. It can be a hobby (if you do not have one, get one) it can be kicking ass in a test or making a great sale with a client that initially said no. The point is to focus on positive success. Success/achievement builds confidence. For some guys,"fake it till you make it" works. For me, it never did. I was too easily derailed. These days, my confidence comes from all the experience i have from the successes i have had. I constantly remind myself that, i do when others talk.

^^ You may be interested in this (google it if wanting the source):

“Positive self-statements are widely believed to boost mood and self-esteem, yet their effectiveness has not been demonstrated. We examined the contrary prediction that positive self-statements can be ineffective or even harmful. A survey study confirmed that people often use positive self-statements and believe them to be effective. Two experiments showed that among participants with low self-esteem, those who repeated a positive self-statement (“I'm a lovable person”) or who focused on how that statement was true felt worse than those who did not repeat the statement or who focused on how it was both true and not true. Among participants with high self-esteem, those who repeated the statement or focused on how it was true felt better than those who did not, but to a limited degree. Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, but backfire for the very people who “need” them the most.”
- Joanne V. Wood (abstract of a study)

Post: #45

Here's one thing you can always beat other guys at, because it's the only thing you can control- approach the most women.

You might have a way lower success rate than other guys, but you can still top them for the most quality girls, with relative ease

Post: #46

For the height "problem" ..

Buy some insoles. I bought mine from amazon.. They have 4 pieces so i can gain 4,5,7 or 9 centimeters depending on how many layers i use..

The ones I have are really not uncomfortable.. I just use one layer for work and and then i wear more layers if i go out to have some drinks.

I'm 172 (5'8?) centimeters on my bare feet, and even before discovering insoles I could get hot chicks, even a lot taller than me. (I have video proof if anyone doubts me)

In my opinion the insoles help me create more instant attraction, and makes it easier to spot me in the bunch. Wearing insoles i just get up to being what is average height in my country, which is around 180 centimeters for men.

The sickest players I know are just as tall as me.. 170-173 centimeters. 2 of my friends are above 100 notches each and they are both at my height. They are small agressive dark traid types.
My father is like a little bold and fearless napoleon, a leader in the local fire squad.. 168 centimeters.. His tall friends look up to him because he has confidence and boldness and an aggressiveness that people can feel. I think some people feel intimidated.

My little brother who is also on this forum is 170 centimeters and has a very beautiful girlfriend.

Boldness makes the day.. Boldness makes you appear taller, larger and more powerfull than you are..
Timidity kills seduction..

About balding.. Get a buzz haircut. Wear a cap. A cap can also make you appear a little taller..

So basically, Height is attractive. But. I know tall, good looking, lifting guys with great bodies who very rarely gets laid because they are timid

Post: #47

I think doing things to improve your appearance helps get you over your own insecurities (and i'm not knocking that). I know guys who are short who can pull better than me. I'm 6'2 and average looking I have problems with my game so height isn't everything.

Apparently, from everything I've read, once you get into talking to women and stop being so worried about how she perceives you then you stop caring so much about the way girls think you look. Most guys want to be taller but most people want to be better looking and I hear people in hell want ice water. I'm still working on my game but as I talk to more women my appearance matters a lot less. Some of my best game just sort of happened when I was unshowered and not even trying to game.

Post: #48

(01-20-2015 12:22 PM)bewater Wrote:  Thanks a lot guys.

I've made some plans for the next months:
- buy protein powder and hit the gym hard. I'll be eating a lot and follow a program for 3 months. I hope to see some changes so I can keep myself motivated to continue.
- buy and try finasteride for my hairloss. Many had sexual side effects but I hope I won't be one of them.
- get into salsa class or public speaking to get more social.
- build a new social circle with valuable people and hot girls
- work on my business at least 6 hours/day

I'll also train to get out of bad and insecure thoughts when they happen, they only make me feel bad and inferior. I'll try to keep the mindset of having a "winner" attitude even when odds of success is low, just because I know if my attitude would be on the same low level of the odds I have to succeed, then the real chance of success will be even lower.

@bewater, I think I can offer some good advice to you as I am same height as you (176cm) though I do outweigh you by about 30 pounds due to lifting for many years (but also some belly fat )
Anyways, in addition to being "short" I also have been dealing with acne problems and am pretty sure i'm uglier than you, nevertheless that has not stopped me from approaching (especially in nightclub settings) for over a decade. Also, unlike you I do not have a hot girlfriend, BUT that just gives me more motivation to get one.
Do I succeed (sometimes), but more often than not I get politely blown out during my approaches. Whoever told you looks don't matter is lying but as another forum member mentioned in this thread it is only one variable in a very long and complex equation of game. The most important variable is self-confidence and not giving a fuck about what others think. If you are not doing well with women where you are currently located, then leave the place for a trip. The best way to build up confidence is to travel, as 20Nations mentioned, go to places where you are considered more exotic and where girls will give you more IOI's. To me that place was Ukraine 2 years ago where the girls were approaching me. I look like a local but speaking English and dressing sharp put me in "exotic" category.
Gaming via travel is the quickest way to build up self-confidence, much more efficient than reading dozens of pua books or even these posts. Most guys never follow through on what they read, even if they read Rooshs' excellent day bang book.

Just go give you an example, I came back this summer from arguably one of the tallest countries in the world (Lithuania) where easily a third of the girls were taller than me and probably 60% of the guys were taller than me. Before going there I had high hopes and to be honest was getting a little jealous of reading other guys success stories. The nightlife setting was tough there as it seemed to bring out many young, buff guys and as we all know the younger generations tend to be taller on average than the older one's (part of human evolution). Anyways, some nights I literally went 1 for 15, or 1 for 20 (1=number close/kiss close) BUT I never gave up. In the morning I would just work out extra hard to build up my testosterone levels (i'm in my 30's and see a slow decrease), eat a healthy lunch, go for a walk and observe the girls, do an occasional day approach, then go back to my airbnb crib and pre-game with drinks in the evening and hit the clubs extra hard at night. By the end of my trip I had a small rolodex of numbers and new friends. Did I get laid during my recent trip (no...) BUT I practiced my game plenty (which I can't really do at home in USA due to many hobbies, bad city, and a career which takes too much time) and always analyze and try to learn from my mistakes.

Post: #49

I'm your height OP. Sometimes it works against you but most of the time it won't. I have 29 notches. Don't worry about your height. You can't change it anyways.

As for building confidence: lift weights. Go at least 3 times a week doing compound lifts. Once you start feeling and seeing the results and people ask you, "have you been working out, you look good," your confidence will go up.

As for balding, I'm in the same boat and I agree it sucks. I use Toppik. I saw some friends I haven't seen in a while and they're like, "wow, you have a full head of hair, you must be using Rogaine." Just nod, yes. No one is going to investigate further. Chris from good looking loser has a whole data sheet on it. It's good stuff. It's hair in a can. Chicks put on tons of make up to hide imperfections and make themselves look better, covering up your thinning hair to do the same is no crime and you won't feel self conscious about it, thus improving your confidence.

Post: #50

(01-14-2015 11:38 PM)bewater Wrote:  Thanks guys, I appreciate a lot. Since the problem is the internal competition with taller dudesI, I was thinking what would make me feel I'm better than others overall:
1.money...working on it
2.a higher notch count
3.having supply of girls better than he has

Currently, if I know this I won't give a fuck even if he steals one of my girls because I know I'm better even I have more disadvantages. Maybe this list will change in the future, who knows.
For example, if I have 50 notches under my belt, not 4, than I've proven I can get girls and only a few can hit this number even if they are good looking.

I will go to the gym religiously, but I'm afraid I'll give up if no gains like I did so many times.

The problem is your ego.

You can get laid without money. You can broaden your sexual experience from a low notch count. You're not in competition with this other guy. You're letting your mind convince you that all of those limiting beliefs are stopping you do what you want.

What the other guys have said will help you overcome your ego very efficiently. Good luck.