Post: #26

(04-17-2010 02:23 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  But I understand that some men get good at 'game' to find a higher quality woman that they can then settle down with, and that those men probably will want kids, and that those men come here to help make that dream come true.

Well put. I imagine 50-70% of members of this forum count themselves in this group, including myself.

Since I come from an Eastern culture (Persian), I think I have come to know and appreciate the value of family, despite being born and raised in America. The process of appreciating family life is still an ongoing process for me - and maturity is both a cause and a result of appreciating family - and I know that in the future, I will want a wife and children.

It's also possibly true that people from Eastern backgrounds have more expectation put on them to get married and have a family life, but I am not feeling that pressure personally.

Post: #27

(04-17-2010 02:23 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  But I understand that some men get good at 'game' to find a higher quality woman that they can then settle down with, and that those men probably will want kids, and that those men come here to help make that dream come true.

Well put. I imagine 50-70% of members of this forum count themselves in this group, including myself.

Since I come from an Eastern culture (Persian), I think I have come to know and appreciate the value of family, despite being born and raised in America. The process of appreciating family life is still an ongoing process for me - and maturity is both a cause and a result of appreciating family - and I know that in the future, I will want a wife and children.

It's also possibly true that people from Eastern backgrounds have more expectation put on them to get married and have a family life, but I am not feeling that pressure personally.

Post: #28

Good thread.

You guys have raised a lot of interesting thoughts. Personally, I think seduction is boring, too much like a job, and wastes a lot of time. I think if more guys game, fewer chicks will remain pure while becoming more aware of player tricks. A good pickup line is not so effective if a chick has heard it 10 times, for example. More girls would be good and STD rates would fall if more guys became monks or got married. I think there would be less competition if there were fewer single men. Honestly, seduction should be more of a secret. The world is already a cockfest, anyway. There are millions more men than women worldwide!

http://socyberty.com/issues/the-imbalanc...ale-ratio/

I also don't see the attraction of having kids. I think the world is too crowded already and I don't
think the planet is a happy place because of war, crime, taxes, pollution, sickness, hassles, and death. Kids really are expensive, annoying, worthless ball and chains, too.

Just my $.02.

Post: #29

I am constantly chasing girlfriends, and all I wind up with is notches.

Maybe I need a therapist, or you cats can help. I have Girl ADHD.

I don't want to keep this up. I have a new girl every 3 to 5 days until I find something about her that pisses me off. Usually it is completely nonsensical bullshit, too. The one tonight that I swooped Thursday, I ran off over the stupidest crap.

What made the nonsense she was yapping even more unbearable was the dancer on my text saying she wants to come over since the club was slow. I could have put up with the stories about bullshit and lived happily ever after with the girl, but at the moment I figured "maybe the next one will be better."

You rack up too many notches, landing a solid girlfriend gets tough, because you know there's better out there.

Instead of sitting down and thinking about why I keep doing this, or seeking advice from guys like my dad or my uncles, some damn stripper is going to come over and blow me and the cycle will continue.

I'm so extremely family oriented it's unreal. 'Ohana is the most important thing in my life. I'm never going to be able to carry on the name like this.

Help me out.

Aloha!

Post: #30

The first time I ever had sex was on my wedding night. I could have been happy with having
sex with one girl my whole life, but when my wife divorced me I stopped trusting girls. What I might do now is have a relationship with a girl for a few years until the relationship collapses and then find a new one. This way I
will have a little variety in my life without becoming too angry, bitter, and jaded and hurting too many chicks. I would rather keep a relationship going until it dies instead of dumping someone for no reason and feeling guilty. Maybe having sex with 10 good girls in a lifetime is better than screwing 10 sluts in a year.
I don't know.

Post: #31

Weblinks: good link. Gotta go to Latvia/Estonia/Ukraine! That's a pretty major gender imbalance in our favor.

How did you manage to wait until your wedding night to have sex? I'm curious because I honestly have no idea what that kind of relationship would look like. Were you guys basically friends who decided to get married? Or did you simply get a shit-ton of head?

Kona: I know a lot of dudes here would kill to have your lifestyle, especially after seeing some of your pics. It sounds like for you, picking up 8s, 9s and 10s is so easy that laziness is simply not a factor for you, like it is for many of us, which is why you've racked to "too many notches" to have a steady g/f.

As for the ADHD, it reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry breaks up with his girl because she eats her peas one-at-a-time.

There are different styles of therapy, depending on what you're trying to achieve. I know people that have gone to therapy to do the reverse of what you're trying to do! It could work, or at least it should definitely help but it takes commitment.

However, it sounds like you're still somewhat "content" with how things are, where the motivation to do a sea-change to break the cycle is not quite there. I say this because it sounds like you know some simple things you can do like talk to your dad and uncles, but are just not doing it.

Maybe you are still getting it out of your system?

Making these kinds of changes after years of going through the same cycle is tough, and in my experience requires a kind of tipping point where you're so fed up and depressed that you know you HAVE to change.

Anthony Robbins explains it in a way that motivates me. He says that the most important moment is the moment of true decision. Instead of taking the path of least cognitive resistance constantly like most people, be strong and make the irreversible decision to change and immediately identify actionable steps and take them towards small goals which lead to big goals. Build momentum from there. Everything starts with the moment of true decision.

Post: #32

Kona maybe you should go to the Peruvian Amazon and take an Ayahuasca ceremony with some shamans, I am sure some psycho/spiritual evolution will come as a result.

Post: #33

I come from a religious family, so waiting for sex was easy. In fact, I wish I
would've have waited longer. My life has really gone downhill since I started having sex.

If anyone wants to get out of the player lifestyle, I suggest finding a new hobby. Think of all
the hazards of seduction like venereal diseases and pregnancy and think off all the good things you
could have time for if you stopped gaming. Maybe you could make a million dollars, make a movie, or run for mayor. How many guys become famous for screwing 100 or 200 girls? Wouldn't you be rather known for doing something good instead of dying unknown?

Post: #34

(04-19-2010 10:23 PM)gringoed Wrote:  As for the ADHD, it reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry breaks up with his girl because she eats her peas one-at-a-time.

Mahalo for the kind words, Gringoed.

I'm 4 days into a 1 1/2 week visit from a Finland girl, who's one of the best looking I've ever seen.

She's driving me bloody crazy.

I'm screwed.

Aloha!

Post: #35

Weblinks I think you are preaching to the wrong crowd...however I do see what you mean.

Post: #36

(04-22-2010 07:21 AM)weblinks Wrote:  Maybe you could make a million dollars, make a movie, or run for mayor. How many guys become famous for screwing 100 or 200 girls? Wouldn't you be rather known for doing something good instead of dying unknown?

I hear you weblinks,

Maybe I can combined all of these things, Make a million dollars, because I made a movie, of myself banging 100 girls. I don't want the mayor job. And to be honest my goal is to bang 1000 girls in my life. That would put me up there with celebrities and pro athletes. I got about 875 more to go!

If I could pull that off, I would write a book about it and sell it on these forums. Then I would be remembered for doing something special.

Post: #37

Sorry I haven't really read much on this thread, I'm super tired and I'll come back and read it tomorrow, about to go to bed right now. But....

Where I live is pretty damn hard to pull a lot of girls being the guy to girl ratio is horrible and it's a small town. Sometimes I'll just swoop one of the hottest chicks in town and wait for her to leave in 4 months because she is usually south american and only in town for 4 months. Meanwhile I cheat on her when I get the chances and think she won't find out, unless she's a real cool chick that I would probably date in a city even. Sometimes doing the girlfriend thing is the best bet in my situation. I'm not trying to go more than a month without getting laid. When I move to the city, my whole way of dating/picking up is going to be totally different.

Valeu!

Post: #38

I would be careful about writing a book about banging 1000 chicks. I heard of a guy who was a given a payment by a book publisher to write a book about screwing up his life. The author said the the worse his life went, the better his book became. He finally had to give up the book and return the
money because he said he would be dead if he continued it.

I also heard of a girl who wrote a memoir about slutting around and said she should settle down because the more you continue the swinging lifestyle, the more likely you are to marry someone
just like yourself.

If a person still intends on wrecking his life to write a book, however, I suggest reading "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs.

http://dir.salon.com/mwt/feature/2003/07...print.html

Post: #39

My goal is connections on a deeper level then just sex, so i am firmly in favor with the girlfriends model. Sex is easy as long as you arent a total fool, or have a grotesque deformity. When you have a buffet in front of you, you sample everything you can at the start, but by the end, you are settling down for the things that you really enjoy.

I no longer get an ego boost or any sort of good feeling from bedding retarded party girls, no matter how hot they are, or a very small one. For me, it is much more fulfilling to screen my girls and find girls that i truly enjoy spending time with and stick with them. Doesnt mean i dont go out crusin for pussy once in a while, but its just much more satisfying for me to spend time with a chick, understanding who she is, and find that she compliments myself in a great way.

Post: #40

This is why I think monogamy is natural. In theory, most guys would like to have
sex with a lot of chicks. In reality, I think most people settle down with one person.

Post: #41

(05-04-2010 10:42 PM)weblinks Wrote:  This is why I think monogamy is natural. In theory, most guys would like to have
sex with a lot of chicks. In reality, I think most people settle down with one person.

I think you misunderstood me. I by no means am exclusive. Lots of girls i connect with, but im discussing the topic of constantly chasing vs LTRs.

Post: #42

I like this thread and topic. I also think that both being in relationship and single careless freedom is good. The more women Ive banged, the less I care to get another meaningless notch and for me quality sex is alot about having more than one night stands. That said, I agree with the post of keeping it going, its really contra intuitive, but was totally like that the best part of my last relationship, the more I changed that, the more it fucked up, that said, she is def. also a women with serious issues, so might be different with other women.
I see flirting, dating, banging as in between fun and enjoyment, with a openess to find a good women worth keeping, but Im 34, so things are offcourse not the same as 25..

Post: #43

I have always been a relationship guy. Even though I am depressed when I am in a relationship, I am really depressed when I am not. When I have sex with random girls, I keep comparing them to
my ex-wife or my girlfriend. I wonder why random chicks can't be more like the girls I have had long-term relationships with. My girlfriend now is not perfect, but she is conservative and is hard-working. When I
cheated on her I really saw what a great catch my GF is and I now live with guilt. There are a lot of slutty bad girls out there.

Post: #44

I wanted to bump this thread to bring up the topic of MLTR's with American chicks. Who has done this successfully and what would you recommend?

Specifically I'm looking for advice on whether they should know I'm in other relationships or if it should be more of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.

Post: #45

(01-26-2011 09:19 PM)gringoed Wrote:  I wanted to bump this thread to bring up the topic of MLTR's with American chicks. Who has done this successfully and what would you recommend?

Specifically I'm looking for advice on whether they should know I'm in other relationships or if it should be more of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.

MLTRs seem like a big pain imo. I think it's easier to just "inadvertently" setup fuck buddy situations with them. I've been seeing these two girls on and off for the past few months and I go from one to the other. One of them knows nothing's serious is going to happen between us, and the other (I am guessing) assumes the same at this point.

When I was younger and I tried to talk it through with a girl it never worked out well... Now I just go about it with the entrepreneurial spirit of going in head first (as in doing what I want to do) and apologizing/dismissing if any problems come along

Post: #46

Good post.. I agree with the tradeoffs and I also have been seeying one for a while.. mostly since Im pretty FUBAR when it comes to finding women I can stand for longer periods of time. So I am giving her a chance..

Its really alot also about vulnerability... most PUA´s are insecure boys playing tough as I see it.. pussy is the best drug to numb yourself from love... my hardest fucking dating periods, was the periods I was trying hardest to be unattainable emotional and I think there is a truth to sleeping with 100´s to avoid being loved by one..

But the profound thing is the vulnerability.. I dont know enough about it.. but without risc and investment, no possibility for great gains..

Alot of stuff about this women isnt my "standard" etc etc, but maybe Im starting to see that life isnt what I want it to be, and people wont be perfect, like I sure as hell aint either, so its either live in solitude or give in, surrender to another person and give them power to hurt you, but also have someone who actually cares for you and know you, way better than any fuck date will do...

Life is life and will pass you while you wait for the perfect moment, person or drown yourself in the endless sea of pussy..

"Rochester: But life is not a succession of urgent "nows". It's a listless trickle of "why should I's". Libertine

Post: #47

(01-27-2011 12:09 PM)Quasi Wrote:  Alot of stuff about this women isnt my "standard" etc etc, but maybe Im starting to see that life isnt what I want it to be, and people wont be perfect, like I sure as hell aint either, so its either live in solitude or give in, surrender to another person and give them power to hurt you, but also have someone who actually cares for you and know you, way better than any fuck date will do...

Life is life and will pass you while you wait for the perfect moment, person or drown yourself in the endless sea of pussy..

"Rochester: But life is not a succession of urgent "nows". It's a listless trickle of "why should I's". Libertine

Wonderful post, like poetry, and so sexy. How do you do it Quasi?

I was just talking to someone yesterday about the same truth that Life is life and will pass you while you wait for the perfect moment. Who doesn't make mistakes? Not saying that we should strive to make mistakes, but we shouldn't let the fear of a mistake hold us back.

Post: #48

(01-26-2011 10:11 PM)kerouac Wrote:  

(01-26-2011 09:19 PM)gringoed Wrote:  I wanted to bump this thread to bring up the topic of MLTR's with American chicks. Who has done this successfully and what would you recommend?

Specifically I'm looking for advice on whether they should know I'm in other relationships or if it should be more of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.

MLTRs seem like a big pain imo. I think it's easier to just "inadvertently" setup fuck buddy situations with them. I've been seeing these two girls on and off for the past few months and I go from one to the other. One of them knows nothing's serious is going to happen between us, and the other (I am guessing) assumes the same at this point.

When I was younger and I tried to talk it through with a girl it never worked out well... Now I just go about it with the entrepreneurial spirit of going in head first (as in doing what I want to do) and apologizing/dismissing if any problems come along

I think North American women aren't very open to the real nature of men. There is a lot of delusion involved and they often compare us to them in terms of the reasoning why we exhibit certain behaviour.

My ex asked for us to do friend with benefits as she didn't feel that I was committed enough for an exclusive relationship.

I told her that I was fine with that but it was really a ploy to try and get me to commit out of fear *I did not*

The point is, most North American women are not into open relationships and you are better off lying.

Post: #49

(04-13-2010 06:22 AM)gringoed Wrote:  3. You don't have to be "on" all the time.

If some gel isn't in your hair one day, don't fret. If you're feeling depressed another day, just watch a movie with her instead of going out. You will still get laid. Maybe you can put some of that extra time/energy into that film project in the back of your closet...

This is the one that hits home most for me. That's the one thing I really don't like about being a bachelor is having to think so damn much all the time about my appearance, how I interact with women, if my voice is projecting right, if my body posture is projecting confidence, if I'm keeping the conversation going in the right direction, and just all that real-time self monitoring that goes with meeting a new girl. It can be stressful if you're not a natural and have had to learn game. Sometimes I do miss being in a relationship and just not having to think about any of this shit and then I'm freed up to think about other things in life that I need to focus on.

What's interesting too is the positive correlation between a girl's ability to be forgiving of your flaws and the time you spend with her. For example if you meet a girl for the first night and show up at the bar with a booger hanging out of your nose, that alone might make her next you. But if you've been seeing her for a year, she'll just tell you to blow your nose and then act like nothing happened. So at the beginning stage of an interaction, everything has to be damn near perfect in your presentation and that's where the stress of always having to be "on" comes from. It's nice to just being able to chill back and know you're still going to get sex regardless. A luxury you don't have if you're going from girl to girl as a way of life.

Post: #50

(01-27-2011 05:27 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(04-13-2010 06:22 AM)gringoed Wrote:  3. You don't have to be "on" all the time.

If some gel isn't in your hair one day, don't fret. If you're feeling depressed another day, just watch a movie with her instead of going out. You will still get laid. Maybe you can put some of that extra time/energy into that film project in the back of your closet...

This is the one that hits home most for me. That's the one thing I really don't like about being a bachelor is having to think so damn much all the time about my appearance, how I interact with women, if my voice is projecting right, if my body posture is projecting confidence, if I'm keeping the conversation going in the right direction, and just all that real-time self monitoring that goes with meeting a new girl. It can be stressful if you're not a natural and have had to learn game. Sometimes I do miss being in a relationship and just not having to think about any of this shit and then I'm freed up to think about other things in life that I need to focus on.

What's interesting too is the positive correlation between a girl's ability to be forgiving of your flaws and the time you spend with her. For example if you meet a girl for the first night and show up at the bar with a booger hanging out of your nose, that alone might make her next you. But if you've been seeing her for a year, she'll just tell you to blow your nose and then act like nothing happened. So at the beginning stage of an interaction, everything has to be damn near perfect in your presentation and that's where the stress of always having to be "on" comes from. It's nice to just being able to chill back and know you're still going to get sex regardless. A luxury you don't have if you're going from girl to girl as a way of life.

I know what you mean.

At the moment, I am having a mini-crisis.

I vacillate between:

1. Becoming a sophisticated, mature, but still active bachelor.

2. Falling in love.

3. Falling in love and having a kid.

4. Avoiding women altogether (except for occasional shags with my current crop of FBs) and focusing on work and my future.