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Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
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Floss Offline
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Post: #1
Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
I met this real cute American-born Assyrian chick who works at the gym I swim at. She started the conversation. We talked for maybe 15 minutes. She was real cool, we're getting along. I told her to put her number in my phone (she put in her first and last name if that means anything), we spoke for another 5 minutes and I left.

The day after next, I text her:

Floss (4:37pm): "Hey this is floss"

Her (5:47pm): "Hi, how's it going?"

Floss (7:12pm): "Exquisitely. You working tomorrow?"

Her (7:45pm): Nice! And yes, I am

Floss (8:19pm): Let's get coffee later in the afternoon

Her (12:40am): "Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. I work then I have to do a fitness assessment on a new member"
*Aside: She just got her personal trainer license.

Her (12:40am): "My schedule is getting crazy :/ I need to get a new planner"
--------------------

What should I make of this? Do you think she's trying to blow me off? Would she have made a suggestion for another day had she been as interested as I initially assumed? Is me suggesting another day beta?... is the coffee idea just too lame? I live in the 'burbs of Chicago. Don't know of a lot of stuff to do. I thought she liked me and enjoyed speaking with me and would be cool to just grab a drink and see where that takes us.

Basically, I like this girl and this is where I'm at. Where do I go from here.

Thanks guys,
12-12-2013 02:56 AM
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Christian McQueen Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Plenty to do in burbs of Chicago.

Never choose coffee from the start.

She knows what's up.

Her putting her full name in your phone is a good sign. Generally, when girls give me their full name I wind up banging them. It means she has high interest and feels comfortable with you.

Her being busy isn't a big deal, because she probably has shit going on in her life. Fitness trainers tend to be Type A personalities and are on the go a lot.

Wait a couple days then say you're grabbing a drink the next night and she should join you.

Game On.
12-12-2013 03:12 AM
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MidniteSpecial Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Sometimes people are busy.
12-12-2013 03:34 AM
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Floss Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
I get that she's probably actually busy. I think she would have sent something more concise were she trying to blow me off. I'm just asking how to play it from here.

Should I text anything in reply today? Like saying, it's cool, we'll meet another day?

Or should I just wait a few days and then say something like, "I'm grabbing drinks at "local bar" at "time." Join me. I imagine a girl like her meets tons of people. I made fun of her work attire (sweatpants) and she said that she got tired of guys commenting on her ass. So I'm trying to make something happen sooner rather than later while I'm fresh in her mind.
(This post was last modified: 12-12-2013 12:27 PM by Floss.)
12-12-2013 12:26 PM
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Parlay44 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Coffee is good for an insta-date. Like for a girl you meet on the street, supermarket or whatever. You shoulda offered up drinks.

She's a city girl. She definitely knows what's up.

Team Nachos
12-12-2013 12:47 PM
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RX2 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
If you're in the burbs, check out Rosemont, they have a bunch of bars where you can jump from one to the other. I've taken a few girls there, it's kind of a hotspot right now. But if you're more west, I've heard naperville has great night life.

But I agree, drinks > coffee
(This post was last modified: 12-12-2013 01:06 PM by RX2.)
12-12-2013 01:04 PM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
One that has worked for me in the past is mentioning you have some errands to run in a specific area that also has pubs/bars.
1st i figure out when she can actually meet me. No point in asking her to hangout if she's gonna be busy that day. Then i tell her i've gotta run some errands on that day but she came tag along as long as she doesn't embarrass me too much. (Walking from store to store prevents you from getting stuck sitting across the table from her, where it looks very strange to reach across and touch her)
2nd Get her to drive to your place than take your car and do the errands. That way it forces her to return to your place and help you unload your car.
Cook her a meal. Drop hints at your cooking skill.

I used this template for most of my day 2's. Really good conversion rate to bang once i get them out with me.

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12-12-2013 02:51 PM
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one-two Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Since she's into fitness, ask her to go protein shopping, cause "the dude at GNC does not know anything".
12-12-2013 10:19 PM
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Satoshi Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
I see no problem just asking when she is free. Then you can see when you are as well and meet her then. Sometimes it's good not to over think.
12-13-2013 12:24 AM
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BadgerHut Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
(12-13-2013 12:24 AM)friheten Wrote:  I see no problem just asking when she is free. Then you can see when you are as well and meet her then. Sometimes it's good not to over think.

I agree. Have you read Bang? I recommend the texting script in there and use it religiously with some slight adjustments for situation.

"Hey how are you doing?"
"<response>"
"Good good. [your "exquisitely" was a great shakeup on that."] Do you want to hang out this week?"
"<response with yes or no, and often she'll suggest a day that works"
"Cool, I think I am free Tuesday and Wednesday."
"<she responds with logistics>"
"<You respond with a place and time>"

It's great because it gives her the right kind of options - she has to say she's interested, then you let her find a time that works. She doesn't have the opportunity to reject you by saying she's busy for the specific time you suggested. Also people ARE busy, it's good to give some kind of option. Not all girls are trying to flake and blow a man off, but neither do they have infinite time.
12-14-2013 03:41 PM
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Sonsowey Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Invite for something more interesting than coffee, and find out when she's free.

Your place late at night could very well be more interesting than coffee. And she probably isn't working late at night as a personal trainer.
12-14-2013 09:22 PM
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Parlay44 Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
(12-12-2013 10:19 PM)one-two Wrote:  Since she's into fitness, ask her to go protein shopping, cause "the dude at GNC does not know anything".

(12-14-2013 09:22 PM)Sonsowey Wrote:  Invite for something more interesting than coffee, and find out when she's free.

Your place late at night could very well be more interesting than coffee. And she probably isn't working late at night as a personal trainer.

Ohh my god. You guys are killing me. Protein shopping? Invite her over to your place for a first date? No wonder you guys aren't getting laid Laugh

Drinks is the de facto standard. It's normal. It's fun. It's neutral ground.Then you escalate from there. Get her comfortable with you at bar 1 then bounce to bar 2 and bar 3. All 3 bars should be in walking distance from each other.

It's about building trust and attraction while at the same time lowering her inhibitions with alchohol.

Somewhere in there you work in some hand holding between bar hops and go for a kiss.

Team Nachos
12-15-2013 08:47 AM
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Floss Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Alright, so I've been busy with shit for forgot about this girl for a bit.

So, I'm thinking I'll text her saying we should get drinks like Wednesday.

We both live in the burbs though which sucks because I'm not getting a DUI. So I'm thinking I'll just pick a bar in the burbs and taxi it?
This is a fucking hassle. Wish I was back in the city. How's a guy gotta formally get laid out here.
12-15-2013 05:41 PM
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TheBulldozer Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
We're not advocating having 10 drinks dude. 1 drink at a couple of places. You're saying you can't drink 2 drinks in 2 hours?!
12-15-2013 05:59 PM
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Floss Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
(12-15-2013 05:59 PM)MaleDefined Wrote:  We're not advocating having 10 drinks dude. 1 drink at a couple of places. You're saying you can't drink 2 drinks in 2 hours?!

I could. Never been one to stop at a few, but I could give that a shot.
12-15-2013 06:37 PM
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CaliforniaSupreme Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
I'm full blooded Assy rian. Some of the immigrant girls choose to date within their "own people," but since she's American born, probably not the case. She'll probably accept an invitation for drinks, but don't get shitfaced drunk. Quite frowned upon in the society, every little Assyrian girl is raised to try and get with a successful, powerful, ... guy. You get the shpeal- just stay classy and you'll pull her in.
(This post was last modified: 12-15-2013 07:09 PM by CaliforniaSupreme.)
12-15-2013 07:07 PM
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Hardwork Honesty Character Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
Any alternatives for guys who don't drink alcohol?

I don't drink alcohol (Just a personal health choice, not because of culture/religion). I can't drink carbonated water either (my eyes start getting red and teary)
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2016 09:52 AM by Hardwork Honesty Character.)
12-11-2016 09:47 AM
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Hardwork Honesty Character Offline
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RE: Me: "Let's get coffee." Her: "I'm busy blablabla"
(12-11-2016 09:47 AM)Hardwork Honesty Character Wrote:  Any alternatives for guys who don't drink alcohol?

I don't drink alcohol (Just a personal health choice, not because of culture/religion). I can't drink carbonated water either (my eyes start getting red and teary)

Found a thread on it. Sorry, for butting in. There are probably more.
/thread-58721...no+alcohol
12-11-2016 09:56 AM
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