Post: #1

The night wasn't going well. It was St. Patrick's Day 2017 in New York City and after an ill-advised trip to Times Square, my friends and me were back at my apartment in Murray Hill. It was 2AM. Two hours until closing time. We decided to hit a dive bar around the corner. I knew it would be nothing special.

I wanted to make the night interesting, so I grabbed my MAGA hat and wore it out in NYC for the first time. That decision changed the course of my life. Insults were hurled my way by several drunk strangers, but I didn't flinch. A couple of guys quietly showed their respect for my courage. A girl approached me and started dancing with me, clearly liking the vibe I was giving off. But she was only a 6, so I extricated myself after ten minutes.

Five minutes later, I caught a 7.5 staring at me with the Bambi eyes. She had been watching me for a while and was mesmerized. I was in the midst of a three month dry spell. Thirty minutes after meeting her, my dry spell was over.

At this point in time, I was roughly three years out of college and two years into my career. My first job was as an accountant for a bank. My second job, and my job as of March 2017, was as a financial analyst at a marketing company. I felt like the life was being sucked out of me. My corporate life largely consisted of asking for permission, making excuses, and apologizing. The work at both jobs was very mundane, rarely stimulating. I was an easily replaceable cog and was treated as such. Liberal coworkers in neighboring cubicles gleefully traded stories of victimhood to pass the days. I mostly avoided socializing around the office to lower the chances of being outed as a Trump supporter. When asked about my political views, I talked about trying not to worry about things outside of my control.

It was Sunday night. Two days after that St. Patrick's day. A day in which I felt an energy and enthusiasm for life for the first time in a long time. No way I was going to work that week, but I stopped short of quitting on the spot. I told my boss I had the flu and took the week off to unplug and start to consider my options. Over the next month and a half, I hatched the plan to quit my job and go to Southeast Asia. I gave my notice in May and was a free man by June. After a nice jobless summer in New York, I was off to Bangkok in early September.

As I type this now from my airbnb in Saigon, it's been 13 months since I first set foot in Southeast Asia. Nine of those months have been spent in SEA, with December 2017 through March 2018 being spent living with my parents in New York. It's been a hell of a ride. Amazing experiences. Exposure to different ideas and cultures. Sex with more girls in the last year than in the first 25 years of my life. And the adoption of a no excuses, no apologies mentality.

I'm set financially for a while due to the decent salary I made in New York, combined with the saving and budgeting skills that I've employed over the years. I'm exploring various opportunities and learning new skills. It would be ideal if I could create a long term location independent lifestyle, but I haven't ruled out a return to a US city. If I work for another corporation, I need to be someone with a valuable skillset. Hard to replace. That's the only way to command respect, and have a reasonable amount of autonomy.

I've made major strides in my development as a man over the last year and a half. But, it's a never ending process, and there are always areas for improvement. I'm trying to be the best I can be. And trying to make that best better over time.

Post: #2

Well done sir!

Post: #3

How old are you and whats your budget?

Post: #4

(10-09-2018 03:32 AM)pk9090 Wrote:  How old are you and whats your budget?

I'm 26 and my budget is $1300 a month (give or take). Since I returned to SEA 6 months ago, I've alternated between living in Saigon and traveling around SEA.

Post: #5

What did you do in the marketing company and the bank?

FP&A (financial planning and analysis?) or more regular month end accounts production?

Have you thought about going to do more financial analysis work, (which would be more interesting than pure accounting) ? Maybe you could move into corporate finance? or work in a consulting capacity for finance work?

or is it New York that you didn't like?

Post: #6

Congratulations you made the leap, spending your 20s in SEA is kind of a waste though if you ask me.

Post: #7

(10-09-2018 05:09 AM)worldtraveler3 Wrote:  What did you do in the marketing company and the bank?

FP&A (financial planning and analysis?) or more regular month end accounts production?

Have you thought about going to do more financial analysis work, (which would be more interesting than pure accounting) ? Maybe you could move into corporate finance? or work in a consulting capacity for finance work?

or is it New York that you didn't like?

I worked as a fund accountant at the bank and as an FP&A analyst at the marketing company. I never intended to spend a long time in accounting - it was simply a means to an end to get a more attractive second job. The work was more interesting at the FP&A job - the problem was that the company had very archaic systems in place. Too much of my days involved chasing invoices and manually manipulating data. Yes, I could find a better job which minimizes the issues posed by the previous one. But, I think that would still be far from ideal for me.

I've developed an interest in sales and persuasion over the last couple of years. And that's the direction I see my career going. I'm looking into freelance copywriting now, and CRE brokerage looms as an option if I ever settle back into a US city.

New York has a lot of positive attributes. Amazing restaurants and nightlife. Tons of beautiful women. Extraordinary art museums. But, I didn't enjoy sharing a tiny two bedroom apartment with a friend. Or knowing that the vast majority of my home city would want to kill me if they knew my political views. And as beautiful as the women are in New York, it's hard to find a meaningful relationship there (short or long term).

I haven't given much thought to where I'll go in the future. I like it in SEA right now and could see myself staying here for a while. Eventually returning to the US or going to another region of the world are also possibilities.

Post: #8

Interesting post, enjoyed the read. Well done.

Where did you find and fuck these girls? Night game? Online? Daygame?

Did you ever feel lonely being away from everyone you knew at home?

Why did you choose SEA and where do you plan on going next?

Post: #9

excellent reporting. WHy do you choose to base up in HCMC? those viet girls are deff cute -how is the insane pullution treating you in the capital city? I think I couldnt handle it for a long time

Post: #10

(10-09-2018 10:02 AM)lifecrisis Wrote:  Interesting post, enjoyed the read. Well done.

Where did you find and fuck these girls? Night game? Online? Daygame?

Did you ever feel lonely being away from everyone you knew at home?

Why did you choose SEA and where do you plan on going next?

I've mostly used online game. I've gotten good quality from it in Saigon, and it filters for the English speakers and girls looking for FWBs. Online is very useful because most girls in Saigon don't check both of those boxes.

Sometimes I feel lonely. I've met some guys in SEA who would make good friends. But most people are on the move, so it's tough to form lasting friendships. My friends in New York are mostly blue pill, so even if they were nearby, we wouldn't be as close as we were a couple of years ago. I'd like to create more deep friendships in SEA.

I chose SEA for the low cost of living, the women, friendly locals, beautiful beaches and temples, and prevalence of English speakers. South America, Eastern Europe, and a return to the US are all future possibilities.

(10-09-2018 10:11 AM)I_luh_durian Wrote:  excellent reporting. WHy do you choose to base up in HCMC? those viet girls are deff cute -how is the insane pullution treating you in the capital city? I think I couldnt handle it for a long time

Like I said, Saigon has a high quantity of women that speak English and are open to FWB arrangements. There's a large expat population and enough English speaking locals to form friendships. I love Da Nang, but it would be a challenge to date and make friends there. Learning Vietnamese would alleviate that problem - it's something I should really spend more time doing.

The pollution is bad, but it hasn't become a deal breaker - yet. I alternate between living in Saigon and traveling, so I experience the outdoors when I travel. And in Saigon, I don't mind spending most of my days in my apartment, coffee shops, restaurants, and the gym.

Post: #11

Welcome to the forum ATW, looking forward to seeing where this journey takes you.

Post: #12

(10-08-2018 11:50 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  Well done sir!

Thanks!

(10-09-2018 06:09 AM)atlant Wrote:  Congratulations you made the leap, spending your 20s in SEA is kind of a waste though if you ask me.

Why do you think it's a waste?

(10-09-2018 01:00 PM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  Welcome to the forum ATW, looking forward to seeing where this journey takes you.

Thanks, happy to be a member of the community.

Post: #13

(10-09-2018 01:23 PM)ATW in 80 Days Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 06:09 AM)atlant Wrote:  Congratulations you made the leap, spending your 20s in SEA is kind of a waste though if you ask me.

Why do you think it's a waste?

You will be able to "cash in your chips", so to speak, as a Westerner in SEA well into your 30s and even your 40s if you take care of yourself, and secure access to quality young women there. Besides, even older Asian women in their 30s can be petite and slim.

The same can more or less be said of (parts of) LatAm, albeit to a lesser extent. And Latinas (as much as I love them!) don't age as well as their Asian sisters, so it's best to catch 'em young, which you can do quite a bit more easily now than when you get older.

In Europe generally there isn't as much of a status boost to be gained from being American and less of an acceptance of big age gaps. Furthermore, they tend to age the least well - I would say 20s is their absolute peak for sure among the 3 groups I've discussed so far.

From a gaming and best-use-of-time perspective, therefore, your 20s should be spent in Europe/Eastern Europe while the getting is easiest.

SEA will always be viable even when you're older, and same (somewhat) for LatAm.

Post: #14

Cool story bro! South East Asia sounds pretty cool. The culture and people there are just awesome.

Post: #15

This is fucking inspirational! I'm about to take on a very similar journey. I'm also from NYC, 10 years older than you, but pass for 28 easily and act about 25, so I expect this trip to be highly entertaining.

My plan is to live out of a different city in SE Asia for 3 months every year (basically spend the shitty NYC winters there). I own a company that I hope to be able to run remotely for a few months out of the year. Bangkok is where i'm starting out, but I plan to spend at least a couple weeks exploring other locations to see where i'd prefer to stay next year. Also I feel you on the political comment lol.

Post: #16

(10-09-2018 01:34 PM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 01:23 PM)ATW in 80 Days Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 06:09 AM)atlant Wrote:  Congratulations you made the leap, spending your 20s in SEA is kind of a waste though if you ask me.

Why do you think it's a waste?

You will be able to "cash in your chips", so to speak, as a Westerner in SEA well into your 30s and even your 40s if you take care of yourself, and secure access to quality young women there. Besides, even older Asian women in their 30s can be petite and slim.

The same can more or less be said of (parts of) LatAm, albeit to a lesser extent. And Latinas (as much as I love them!) don't age as well as their Asian sisters, so it's best to catch 'em young, which you can do quite a bit more easily now than when you get older.

In Europe generally there isn't as much of a status boost to be gained from being American and less of an acceptance of big age gaps. Furthermore, they tend to age the least well - I would say 20s is their absolute peak for sure among the 3 groups I've discussed so far.

From a gaming and best-use-of-time perspective, therefore, your 20s should be spent in Europe/Eastern Europe while the getting is easiest.

SEA will always be viable even when you're older, and same (somewhat) for LatAm.

Yes, I agree that it's better to leave Asia to an older age unless you're really into Asians.

Post: #17

(10-09-2018 05:26 PM)Padrino Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 01:34 PM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 01:23 PM)ATW in 80 Days Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 06:09 AM)atlant Wrote:  Congratulations you made the leap, spending your 20s in SEA is kind of a waste though if you ask me.

Why do you think it's a waste?

You will be able to "cash in your chips", so to speak, as a Westerner in SEA well into your 30s and even your 40s if you take care of yourself, and secure access to quality young women there. Besides, even older Asian women in their 30s can be petite and slim.

The same can more or less be said of (parts of) LatAm, albeit to a lesser extent. And Latinas (as much as I love them!) don't age as well as their Asian sisters, so it's best to catch 'em young, which you can do quite a bit more easily now than when you get older.

In Europe generally there isn't as much of a status boost to be gained from being American and less of an acceptance of big age gaps. Furthermore, they tend to age the least well - I would say 20s is their absolute peak for sure among the 3 groups I've discussed so far.

From a gaming and best-use-of-time perspective, therefore, your 20s should be spent in Europe/Eastern Europe while the getting is easiest.

SEA will always be viable even when you're older, and same (somewhat) for LatAm.

Yes, I agree that it's better to leave Asia to an older age unless you're really into Asians.

First off --- congratulations ATW, on successfully changing your life for the better.

Regarding the idea of 'saving' destinations, I would disagree with that.

After 2.5 years traveling (spending a few months in a place at a time, and often ~9 months away before returning), I've realized that it isn't possible to "get a city on lock" with that type of lifestyle. Similarly, no matter how close to a pussy paradise a place is, guys who take time to invest in their social circles in a city will do miles better than those just passing through for a few months.

Recent forum examples of short-term travelers struggling:

Is banging 5s the usual outcome of short term traveling?

What it really takes to bang a 7 when traveling?

Examples of guys with their "city on lock":

Irish in Jakarta (& Singapore)

Lucky Luke in Barcelona

Tully Mars in Bogota

Suits in Beijing

Akwesi in Accra

(formerly) WanderingSoul AKA RioNomad in Bangkok

(ignoble member) Christian McQueen in Las Vegas

(Who else did I forget?)

All these guys had strong game to begin with (and thus would do well traveling anyway), but because they ended up staying in 1 place for a long time they built an "asset" in the form of their social capital in that city, such that their results blow any non-celebrity passerby-s results out of the water. Not mention becoming fluent in the language (if it differs from their native one).

Personally, I know a guy in Bangkok (fluent in Thai) and another guy in Medellin (fluent in Spanish), both of who have lived in their respective cities for 3+ years and now have an awesome life setup for themselves that is outside of the reach of a short-term traveler.

If you want SEA to be "your spot" (whether Saigon, Bangkok, KL, Jakarta) then I highly recommend living there year round as soon as possible and taking only max 1-to-3 month trips away at a time. Invest in building relationships, knowledge & language skills in the city of your choice and reap the dividends in a few years time.

With that said --- the exploratory phase definitely shouldn't be skipped either (for those who are truly location independent), and it definitely takes a couple of years for a man to determine what his ideal pussy paradise destination actually is. It's tough to find a place that really fits with you, and reading datasheets only gets you so far before you need your own boots-on-the-ground experience to really know if you'll click with a place.

As I mentioned, I personally am ~2.5 years in, ~20 countries in, and am planning to settle down in a particular city in 2019 (year lease, limiting myself to shorter trips away, round trip tickets instead of one way, etc).

To me, I'd rather spend the next 2.5 years building assets in my social life, instead of playing on repeat the last 2.5 years, just with slightly different scenery and slightly different people in another 20 countries.

Thoughts?

Post: #18

(10-09-2018 02:21 PM)Busybee22 Wrote:  Cool story bro! South East Asia sounds pretty cool. The culture and people there are just awesome.

Saigon is a pussy paradise, I've been living in SE Asia for nearly 10 years now, but get approached more in Vietnam than anywhere else.
My game is sitting quietly reading a book (or tablet), I've been approached many times in September 23 park, my local restaurant ( I actually took the waitress home with me), Highlands coffee, several bars, and even my hotel breakfast cook had a go.

But at age 60, I don't bother so much these days, but it's still nice to be asked.
The waitress was nice.

Post: #19

(10-10-2018 12:09 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 02:21 PM)Busybee22 Wrote:  Cool story bro! South East Asia sounds pretty cool. The culture and people there are just awesome.

Saigon is a pussy paradise, I've been living in SE Asia for nearly 10 years now, but get approached more in Vietnam than anywhere else.
My game is sitting quietly reading a book (or tablet), I've been approached many times in September 23 park, my local restaurant ( I actually took the waitress home with me), Highlands coffee, several bars, and even my hotel breakfast cook had a go.

But at age 60, I don't bother so much these days, but it's still nice to be asked.
The waitress was nice.

Damn. Nice work.

Post: #20

@roadto100

I totally concur. I’m in SEA Asia now dissing it out for long-term poosy paradise potential. Been all over Europe and South America too. I am getting weary of the moving around checking places out, I truly believe getting a good feel for a place and making a “go” of it is essential to a guys well being. After all, social connections, not being lonely/isolated and learning are key stones to a man’s well being (aside from the obvious things).

Post: #21

(10-10-2018 12:09 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

(10-09-2018 02:21 PM)Busybee22 Wrote:  Cool story bro! South East Asia sounds pretty cool. The culture and people there are just awesome.

Saigon is a pussy paradise, I've been living in SE Asia for nearly 10 years now, but get approached more in Vietnam than anywhere else.
My game is sitting quietly reading a book (or tablet), I've been approached many times in September 23 park, my local restaurant ( I actually took the waitress home with me), Highlands coffee, several bars, and even my hotel breakfast cook had a go.

But at age 60, I don't bother so much these days, but it's still nice to be asked.
The waitress was nice.

Looks like you're the new Tenderman100!

Post: #22

I don't believe in saving destinations or going to specific destinations when I'm in certain age ranges to maximize expected success with girls, whatever that looks like. I am attracted to Asian girls, but that's not the top reason why I came to SEA. I'm not here because I need or want easier women. I'm here primarily because it's a nice region with a great infrastructure to travel around, and the low cost of living buys me time to focus on growing as a man, learning new skills, and setting myself up for the future.

As I said in my OP, I try to be the best I can be and make that better over time. In all aspects of life. So while I'm 26 now, I don't plan on being unable to do well with girls in South America, Eastern Europe, or the US at 36... Or 46.

Post: #23

It’s been a while, but here’s a recent day in the life.

A little background - I’ve been in Bangkok since early April after spending the last two weeks of March in the Thai islands.

Tinder has been working well for me out here. While my quality on Tinder has been good, I know I can get hotter girls IRL. But a combination of being satisfied with Tinder for now, not wanting a relationship (Tinder is a great filter for girls that are comfortable with casual sex), and laziness has me primarily using Tinder for the time being.

One date, though it was actually most of a day spent together, was particularly interesting.

We started by meeting for coffee in the afternoon. She was an attractive mid-to-late 20s girl. I’ll call her “Annie” for the sake of this story.

Annie has some money - she gets a monthly allowance provided by her family’s business interests near the Malaysian border. Lives in a serviced apartment that I would estimate at 15k baht/month.

After two hours at the coffee shop, we went back to her apartment to go swimming and hang out by the pool. While she indicated that she likes to party, I suspected that she didn’t hook up much.

She told me that she got out of a six year relationship five months ago, downloaded Tinder two weeks ago, and I was the first guy she had dated since her ex (on the app or otherwise). She said she’s only been with three guys in her life.

I know, I know - maybe she’s lying. But her behavior was consistent with someone who hadn’t dated many guys. She lacked that skeptical vibe that comes from being pumped and dumped a few times. And demonstrated an openness to bonding with me. There was something else that is tough to describe - the best way I can think to describe it is the opposite of the infamous “thousand cock stare.”

Anyway, we spent a few hours at her apartment. Hung out by the pool for most of the time. It was nice - I genuinely liked spending time with her. I’ve hooked up with my fair share of lower middle class girls in SEA (which means a massive income disparity between us) and I’m okay with that. But, it was nice to hang out with a girl that has a more similar reality to me.

I kissed her for a short time but I knew that it wasn’t worth trying to escalate further. Besides, we made plans to hit the club with her friends that night, so I knew I had more time.

I met her and two of her friends (both 5s) at The Club at Koi, a 39th floor bar with a beautiful view. It was ladies night, which meant free champagne for the girls. I’m not really a club guy and on this night, I would get tested with some club bull shit.

Like I said, she told me I was the first guy she dated in five months. Consequently, I was the first guy she had brought to meet her friends. The friends were skeptical of me from the start.

And they would later become jealous of me.

You see, my girl was the life of the party type, while they were more plain. So I deduced that they relied on her to make their nights fun. But on this night, I was absorbing their friend’s attention. And they were left to fend for themselves.

One of them lashed out. While Annie was away getting a drink, I made friendly conversation to the friend. Totally innocent. The music was loud so I talked into her ear a couple of times and might have brushed her shoulder with my hand as I leaned in to talk to her.

I went to the bathroom a few minutes later and when I returned, Annie told me that her friend told her I hit on her when she was away. I calmly told her that I did not and was just trying to be friendly. She was skeptical at first, but it diffused relatively quickly. I stopped interacting with the friends and just accepted that we were not going to get along.

That would have been enough club drama for one night, but there was more to come.

A bit later, Annie and I walked to the bar to get more drinks and walked by this douchey looking guy with his shirt unbuttoned down to the last two buttons on his stomach. Annie laughed at him a bit and he took that as an opening to talk to her, though it was clear she was with me.

I let it go on for 10 seconds because it seemed like it may have been friendly and she was amused. Though I wasn’t in a position to hear what he was saying.

Annie quickly tired of his act and pointed to me and said “I’m with him.” But, the guy leaned back in and was now clearly flirting with her.

I stepped in and said, “that’s enough.”

He retorted, “fuck off” and continued flirting with her.

I pushed him to the side. Not too hard - but enough to get him out of our way so we could continue to the bar.

He took a step towards me like he wanted to fight, but quickly came to his senses and walked away.

I remembered why I don’t go to clubs much. At the same time, I was happy that I successfully navigated the club drama.

Annie’s friends finally disappeared and I danced with her for another hour. At this point, we had spent around eight hours together and had built a great rapport. It felt like the equivalent of three dates, though it was just one day.

So I wasn’t too surprised when she agreed to come back to my place. We were both drunk at this point and she passed out quickly.

But, we picked up where we left off in the morning and I banged her.

Days like this are the reason I’m living this life. And they’re becoming more and more common for me.

.

I don’t know how it will unfold with Annie. Obviously, I enjoyed meeting her but it was only one day. Also, my preference is to avoid a relationship in the near future. The broader takeaway is that I acquired some insights into what dating girls of different classes entails.

There are some advantages to dating a girl that comes from less, but as I said, it’s nice to date a girl where there is more common ground. There’s more relatability since we are both pursuing more than the necessities of life. We are at a similar place in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I know that what I’m saying isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s something that I’ve overlooked for a while.

On the other hand, many lower middle class SEA girls have a better life perspective. So there are pros and cons to both types of girls.

Something I’ve wanted to do, but have struggled with thus far, is to find SE Asian girls in the big cities that have the ability to travel with me to more remote areas for extended periods of times. I love remote areas in Asia, but there are very few (or no) sexually available girls in most of them.

The vast majority of the girls I’ve dated in Asia had little time off from school/work and didn’t have enough money to pay all, or even some of their expenses, when traveling. Annie has the time and the money. She just takes a couple of business classes and does a bit of work remotely for her family business.

I’ve only traveled once with a SEA girl for more than a weekend - 10 days with my ex in Vietnam. Would like to make that a more regular thing.

Post: #24

Nice update. How is your career progressing?

You said her friends are 5's, so how do you rate Annie? I have a Thai girlfriend who's a 7 and her best friend is a fat 4, so I wonder about what it says about someone who chooses friends like that. They're probably childhood friends I guess.

Anyway, best of luck. I hope you'll continue updating this thread from time to time.

Post: #25

^^^

She met the friends fairly recently, a few years ago perhaps. Though I'm not sure if they are her closest friends - they may have just been the ones that were free that night. I consider Annie to be a 7.5.

I have made progress on my career since my last update. I decided to get into affiliate marketing and I'm working on a couple of sites now.

I may take on some writing and SEO jobs over the next few months to give myself some income. That would provide more of a cushion for the affiliate marketing efforts, as I know that it takes a while to succeed in that industry.