Post: #1

Last weekend, at some bar, I opened a girl right in front of her fiance and his/her family, and a second girl, right in front of her boyfriend. It's funny to think about now, buy I'm lucky I didn't get into a fight.

I didn't realize these women were taken until I approached. This has happened to me many times before, but I'm never "reactive," I'll usually just smile and maybe shake hands with the boyfriend before leaving. It's such a reoccuring situation for me though. It just seems there's no way to really know until you approach. Sometimes I think some of these men are pretending to be the boyfriends.

What is going on...

Post: #2

(06-01-2009 12:23 PM)busther Wrote:  Last weekend, at some bar, I opened a girl right in front of her fiance and his/her family, and a second girl, right in front of her boyfriend. It's funny to think about now, buy I'm lucky I didn't get into a fight.

I didn't realize these women were taken until I approached. This has happened to me many times before, but I'm never "reactive," I'll usually just smile and maybe shake hands with the boyfriend before leaving. It's such a reoccuring situation for me though. It just seems there's no way to really know until you approach. Sometimes I think some of these men are pretending to be the boyfriends.

What is going on...

That's OK, as long as you approach. It's all a numbers game and skill improvement. I usually try to read body language between men and women in groups to see who's with whom though. If they don't want you there, they will let you know in no uncertain terms that it's time to piss off.

Post: #3

(06-02-2009 01:33 AM)Hangover Wrote:  That's OK, as long as you approach. It's all a numbers game and skill improvement. I usually try to read body language between men and women in groups to see who's with whom though. If they don't want you there, they will let you know in no uncertain terms that it's time to piss off.

I used to think, until recently, that you could almost always tell. Usually you can tell, like if they are sitting at a table, you can observe how they interact.

In those cases where I couldn't tell, it always happens in a crowded bar, with the bodies of people in the crowd concealing interactions. In that situation men and women are forced into such close proximity, that unless there is some explicit show of affection (the couple are making out) you can't really tell.

In a crowded venue, it's usually a woman, sitting/standing at the bar, surrounded by a tightly pact group of men as well as women. The questions arise: Are those men her friends? Are they just standing next to her because they're trying to get a drink? They could be standing right next to her and not even be a part of her set, but the bar is so tightly pacted with people, you can't really tell..

Post: #4

(06-02-2009 11:55 AM)busther Wrote:  I used to think, until recently, that you could almost always tell. Usually you can tell, like if they are sitting at a table, you can observe how they interact.

In those cases where I couldn't tell, it always happens in a crowded bar, with the bodies of people in the crowd concealing interactions. In that situation men and women are forced into such close proximity, that unless there is some explicit show of affection (the couple are making out) you can't really tell.

In a crowded venue, it's usually a woman, sitting/standing at the bar, surrounded by a tightly pact group of men as well as women. The questions arise: Are those men her friends? Are they just standing next to her because they're trying to get a drink? They could be standing right next to her and not even be a part of her set, but the bar is so tightly pacted with people, you can't really tell..

Sometimes, little or cold interaction between a man and a woman implies serious relationship. Signs usually go deeper than PDA.

Post: #5

If there are 3 girls and 1 guy then go in, but 1 guy and 1 girl don't bother.

Post: #6

In my experience best way to tell if a girl is open to be approached (even if she's with a guy) is if she's constantly looking around the room, instead of being 'locked in' with a guy.

I've had other guys come in when I was in a 2 girl set but couldn't engage both girls equally.

It's also a good sign that you're losing the girl in the interaction.

Post: #7

Someone once told me, if you see a girl playing with her shirt or crossing her arms, it also means she's bored.

Post: #8

Quote:If there are 3 girls and 1 guy then go in, but 1 guy and 1 girl don't bother.

I would have to disagree with this, I believe there is something to be learned from every social interaction and you shouldn't be limiting yourself to sets where it is completely obvious that you have a chance. In a situation where its one on one and you cannot tell whether they are together or not, I would suggest opening the guy. There are many ways of doing this and then finding out how they know each other. Not only will it be a way of not stepping on somebody's toes it also shows that you are socially calibrated(esp. if she doesn't know the guy).

Post: #9

When opening a set it's always smart to open any dudes in that set. The only thing that's being said is that opening a multiple set will likely yield sweeter fruit then a set which involves a dude and a chick. I agree.

I also don't like the practice of opening a set and addressing the dude. Some guys may use this as a crutch to keep from really having to work on the girl which defeats the purpose of game.

Post: #10

Most dudes don't want to start fights. Especially big dudes.

There are some situations to be avoided of course, but if you're at a crowded bar and you try to chat up some chick, unless her BF/Fiance/Husband is drunk and belligerent, you won't get into a fight.

Now if you're drunk and belligerent, then maybe.