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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
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Ringo Offline
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Post: #126
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Good points form WIA and GlobalMan.

Rex has been referred to as RVF's most prominent game denialist before.

One of the most beautiful things in this forum is that we have so many LEGIT experts in many areas. And here they are, dying to help you - WIA, Gio, H1N1, Kaotic, Redbeard, etc.

For real - you'd be a fool not to take this opportunity.

Give us more details on your background - it's impossible to give specific advice without specific information.

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(This post was last modified: 10-26-2016 03:59 PM by Ringo.)
10-26-2016 03:59 PM
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Post: #127
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Well this thread blew up... eek

So many questions...it may take me a while to get to them.
redbeard Wrote:1. Who are you?

-Attractiveness: Not sure on that one
-Style: L.L. Bean, Levi's, American Eagle
-Swagger: Huh?
-Location: Suburban greater Boston area
-Bankroll: Very low (currently a student)
-Physique: Muscle plus fat
-Age: It's in my profile

Quote: 2.What's your game?

Well I pretty much took TLOZ's advice and said "fuck it" and focused on other things. It's not so bad. Maybe not so good either but I'm certainly not miserable or anything.

I'll talk to girls in various daily interactions. Sometimes in classes and sometimes girls in shops. Mostly the conversations don't go anywhere. I will only consider the idea of asking for a number if she asks me questions.

For the most part I gave up on going out at night. I'll feel rough the next day even if I didn't drink much.
(This post was last modified: 10-26-2016 08:42 PM by RexImperator.)
10-26-2016 08:41 PM
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Post: #128
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Quote:How many girls do you interact with on a daily basis?
0 to 2

Quote:What size city do you live in?

Suburbs

Quote:How many attractive girls do you see everyday?

Some days few to none. On days I am on campus, quite a few. I noticed that Whole Foods has quite a few MILFy types.

Quote:What can you do to increase your dating prospects?

Not sure. Join a club? Yoga?

Quote:Do you have friends that can help?

No. Most of my friends are married and don't live nearby. I used to run into a certain player in a club I used to visit. He hooked me up with that single mom in the "low quality" thread I posted. It happened so fast it was amazing.

Quote:What is your preferred method of meeting girls?

Both numbers I got in the last two years were in the gym.

Quote:What are some simple steps that you can take to improve your dating?

I was going to say eat beans but that would be a very wise-ass thing to say. Smile. Boston actually banned happy hours but maybe there's a good weeknight venue for me in the city somewhere. No idea. Maybe I should get a part time job in a restaurant. 15 years ago, I was a waiter and a hot blonde chick left me her card and number. Of course I called her and blew it big time.

If only you knew how bad things really are.
(This post was last modified: 10-26-2016 09:09 PM by RexImperator.)
10-26-2016 09:05 PM
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Post: #129
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
*cough*

http://www.salsamatei.com/Schedule.php

*cough*

Or find a style that suits you more.

I mean, look at the teacher's ass.

At the very least, you'll get to see her shake that thing around while you learn to dance.





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(This post was last modified: 10-26-2016 09:28 PM by philosophical_recovery.)
10-26-2016 09:26 PM
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Post: #130
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
^^^ Morty Finkle from Finkle Fixtures

If only you knew how bad things really are.
10-27-2016 12:07 AM
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Post: #131
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
GlobalMan,

Great post and thanks for highlighting all the advice that RexImperator has received in the past..

I had no idea that there were multiple threads in which RexImperator has asked for and received basically the same advice that has been giving in this thread..

However, with that said, I do NOT feel like I have wasted my time.. Many times in life we have to try 3, 4, 5, 6, or 7 times before we can effectively make change..

Sometimes, one coach can inspire you.. One teacher can reach you.. One friend can help you..

Even when countless others have failed..

I had to try!

RexImperator,

Keep trying!

Try smarter!

--

(10-26-2016 03:32 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  he seems like a good guy who is simply dissatisfied

Yes, he does seem like a good guy who is a little dissatisfied at times.

(10-26-2016 03:32 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  maybe he just isn't truly interested enough in this "problem" of not having girls, and should focus on other areas of life which make him happy

Yes, maybe RexImperator does NOT really care enough to fix the problem? (which is reasonable)

Maybe, he should just forget about girls and focus on other areas of life?

No!

I can't give that advice.

In life, we have to deal with 2 or 3 problems simultaneously.

Not just Rex, all of us have multiple issues that we are dealing with on a day to day basis..

I don't want Rex to ignore his girl problem, I want him to gradually improve socially/sexually AND physically AND emotionally AND financially, all at the same time. That's modern life for a man!

(10-26-2016 03:32 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  Either way, what is required is ACTION on his part, not more threads

Well said!

--

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Well this thread blew up

Yes sir!

This is YOUR thread!

I want this to be the biggest fucking thread on the forum and hopefully it will lead to a major improvement in your quality of life

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Well I pretty much took TLOZ's advice and said "fuck it" and focused on other things. It's not so bad. Maybe not so good either but I'm certainly not miserable .

Yeah, you don't seem miserable.

You seem sort of melancholy and slightly dissatisfied..

You seem okay..

But, you know you can do a little better.. You want a little more out of life..

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I gave up on going out at night.

I'm your age and I don't do any night game.

It can be tough to generate leads but it's very possible and I will help you form a day time strategy.

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  days I am on campus

Wait?!?!?

You are on a college campus a few times a week!!

Mindblown2

There is much potential here!!!

Start talking to the older students, staff, workers, etc,

Just casual conversation.

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I noticed that Whole Foods has quite a few MILFy types.

You go to a Whole Foods with MILFS!!

More potential!!!

Talk to them!

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Club? Yoga?

Serious Yoga would change your life!

I really wish that you would take a real yoga class and make a commitment to yoga!

YOGA IS A REAL SOLUTION TO MANY OF YOUR ISSUES!

Yoga helps the body and mind + YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY HEALTHY WOMEN!

Please consider yoga! Yoga can be life altering!

Your body will improve.
You will meet women.

Or.. And...

Another type of fitness club?

You seem to have a passion for working out..

You like the gym..

I feel potential here..

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I used to run into a certain player in a club I used to visit. He hooked me up with that single mom in the "low quality" thread I posted. It happened so fast it was amazing.

Can you contact this man?

Learn form him?

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Both numbers I got in the last two years were in the gym.

Again, I feel lots potential surrounding YOU + GIRLS + WORKING OUT !

Health clubs, fitness groups, yoga classes, hiking groups, etc.

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I was going to say eat beans but that would be a very wise-ass thing to say. Smile.

You made a joke!!!

The sense of humor is starting to open up!

This is very important!

I like it when you are a "wise-ass"!

I want you to explore comedy and your own sense of humor!

Watch more comedy! Use comedy as tool to interpret the world!

COMEDY HELPED ME when I was in your situation!

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Boston actually banned happy hours but maybe there's a good weeknight venue for me in the city somewhere.

Look for a weekend place..

An afternoon, early evening spot???

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Maybe I should get a part time job in a restaurant.

Maybe??

If, it will force you socialize and you feel it would help you progress.

Just being out in public might stimulate your mind socially.

(10-26-2016 08:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  15 years ago, I was a waiter and a hot blonde chick left me her card and number. Of course I called her and blew it big time.

Fuck The Past.

---

Okay,

Important question time...

RexImperator,

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX???

--

Also,

Get checked for Low testosterone

******

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"There are alot of people who need a little bit of help"
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2016 11:02 AM by Giovonny.)
10-27-2016 10:51 AM
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RexImperator Offline
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Post: #132
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Gio Wrote:Start talking to the older students, staff, workers, etc.

I do this all the time. It's not like I'm anti-social.

Gio Wrote:WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX???

1996

If only you knew how bad things really are.
10-27-2016 11:58 AM
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Post: #133
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 11:58 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  
Gio Wrote:Start talking to the older students, staff, workers, etc.

I do this all the time. It's not like I'm anti-social.

Gio Wrote:WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX???

1996

I mean no disrespect but Holy Shit
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2016 12:01 PM by pheonix500000.)
10-27-2016 12:00 PM
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Post: #134
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Agree2

If only you knew how bad things really are.
10-27-2016 12:10 PM
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Post: #135
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Come over to the UK and be my life coach, Gio! Smile - You come across very genuine and wanting to help without being belittling which is kind of rare
10-27-2016 12:14 PM
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Post: #136
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 12:00 PM)pheonix500000 Wrote:  
(10-27-2016 11:58 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  
Gio Wrote:Start talking to the older students, staff, workers, etc.

I do this all the time. It's not like I'm anti-social.

Gio Wrote:WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX???

1996

I mean no disrespect but Holy Shit

Things like this happen, what I want to do is dive deeper into this Rex.

Forgive me if you've answered this but, were you married before? Or came out of a relationship in 1996 ?

What exactly the last time you banged, was this the MILF from the club you were talking about ?

Was she an LTR ?

What was your longest relationship ?

Were you discouraged afterwards or did anything traumatic possibly happen ?

I want you to be completely open and honest with yourself and the forum.


There's alot we can learn from this in order to tailor things we believe might help you.

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(This post was last modified: 10-27-2016 12:18 PM by kaotic.)
10-27-2016 12:17 PM
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Post: #137
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 10:51 AM)Giovonny Wrote:  Get checked for Low testosterone

I mentioned that earlier. That could be an issue.

"To be underestimated, is an incredible gift." Rackham
10-27-2016 01:31 PM
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Post: #138
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Why are you on RVF? You've been very active. But do you know what you really want? A girlfriend, a wife, a haram? ONS every now and then? Or are you happy being alone?

Any reason you haven't traveled to asia/ s. amer to get over your drought?
10-27-2016 02:14 PM
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Post: #139
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Now, we are digging deep into the pysche of Reximperator!

No sex in 20 years!?!?!?!?!!!!!

I want to help this man!

This is serious shit!

Someone send this man a prostitute!

I swear to God, I would even pinch in a few dollars!

--

Rex,

What do you want?

What do you need?

How do you feel about all of this?


I'm just trying to help you.

Would you want to talk on the phone or over skype/facetime???

--

Fuck I gotta go to work!

Be back later!

Keep helping Rex!

Rex, please be open to receiving help!

Life can be shitty or amazing depending on how well we can control our mind and our actions!

"who is mighty?

He who can control his own mind"

-- Will Durant
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2016 02:29 PM by Giovonny.)
10-27-2016 02:25 PM
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Lagavulin Offline
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Post: #140
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Rex you have a choice, do something about your situation now or regret it when it really is too late.

Life is what you make it, nothing gets handed to you on a plate, as I'm sure you're well aware. Think about what you could have done differently over the last 20 years and think about how you want the next 20 to look.

You've gotten a couple of numbers in the gym and your friend was able to set you up on a date that quickly it amazed you. You have potential and can take it to another level but it's time to draw your line in the sand, you need to make some moves.

Don't let this thread fizzle out, some of the forum's heavy hitters are rallying round here, use this to get a bit of momentum going.

You really should create an online dating profile asap. It's the quickest, easiest way to build experience and get feedback in a short space of time.
10-27-2016 02:39 PM
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Post: #141
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Should Rex try to bang his chubby gym chick? Don't feel bad about p2p -- it should be an option for you.

"To be underestimated, is an incredible gift." Rackham
10-27-2016 03:12 PM
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Post: #142
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
I have to agree with WIA. This isn't about the gym. It's not like Rex is morbidly obese, and he's about the ideal height for most girls. And a lot of girls like bulky guys. Could he improve his diet? Sure, but who couldn't improve their diet?

We need to dive into the why. Why has it been 20 years? PTSD? Low T? I think once you acknowledge the issue, then you can look for solutions.

Getting a testosterone test would be my first suggestion.
10-27-2016 03:46 PM
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RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 03:46 PM)zoom Wrote:  I have to agree with WIA. This isn't about the gym. It's not like Rex is morbidly obese, and he's about the ideal height for most girls. And a lot of girls like bulky guys. Could he improve his diet? Sure, but who couldn't improve their diet?

We need to dive into the why. Why has it been 20 years? PTSD? Low T? I think once you acknowledge the issue, then you can look for solutions.

Getting a testosterone test would be my first suggestion.
One doesn't spend two decades celibate just because of low T. I agree - there's more to this, perhaps some kind of trauma.

Yeah, he can bury this with P2P, online gaming, etc. But if Rex has some kind of scar (emotional, physical, sexual abuse, whatever), the problem will remain there waiting to rise again.

My take: you need to address this ''thing" - whatever it is that you've been carrying for the past 20 years.

Game is a mountain to be climbed, make no mistake, but it's much easier when you drop your baggage at the start...

What were you like before you had sex for the last time? What changed? And what happened?

Did you just postpone getting it with women more and more and somehow it's been 20 years? Maybe it's true but I find this hard to believe.

Have your ever seen a therapist?

I understand this may be difficult to talk about. And it's easy to read into your replies and see you want to skim over it. But this is the elephant in the room.

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10-27-2016 05:46 PM
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Post: #144
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 03:12 PM)Chowder Head Wrote:  Should Rex try to bang his chubby gym chick?

He said that he is not really attracted to her.. So, I would vote "no"..

Anytime I have lowered my standards, I have regretted it.

He mentioned possible "activity buddies" which might sound lame to some people but for for a guy in Rexs position, I think it might be a good idea.. Just to hang out and talk with a women can make a man more aware of himself..

(10-27-2016 03:12 PM)Chowder Head Wrote:  Don't feel bad about p2p -- it should be an option for you.

Prostitution exists so that men like REX can have sex without having to worry about all the psycho-emotional bullshit that comes with getting girls to like you on a macro level.

Just go fuck a few nice looking women and get back to living your life.

Rex could benefit from this, maybe?

Edit: maybe not???

(10-27-2016 05:46 PM)Ringo Wrote:  Yeah, he can bury this with P2P, online gaming, etc.

Great point Ringo!

I don't know?

It helped greenman but this could be a different situation!

I sense that you are correct Ringo!

(10-27-2016 05:46 PM)Ringo Wrote:  If Rex has some kind of scar (emotional, physical, sexual abuse, whatever), the problem will remain there waiting to rise again.

Ringo, you are so right!

Thank you for sharing this perspective!

--

(10-27-2016 03:46 PM)zoom Wrote:  This isn't about the gym.

We could have started with behavioral changes or thought patterns.. (or something else)

That would have been just as well..

For whatever random reason, we started with diet and fitness.. (actually, we started with pre-date advice)

What is the correct sequence of advice topics when you're online trying to help a man who hasn't had sex in 20 years???


It's hard to say, right?

There is:

-general attitude about life
-female psychology
-inner game
-outer game
-appearance
-etc.
-etc.


I don't know which one is the best one to start with.. ?

I like to start with diet, sleep, and exercise because those are often the most effective ways to give an IMMEDIATE BOOST to energy levels, alertness, mood, appearance, vitality, stress reduction, etc.

But, often times... I like to let the individual student choose.. Where does the individual want to start? (Rex, where do you wanna start)

Thank you for moving the conversation along and asking these important questions:

(10-27-2016 03:46 PM)zoom Wrote:  We need to dive into the why.

Yes, why?

Rex, why has it been 20 years ???

(10-27-2016 03:46 PM)zoom Wrote:  PTSD?

Low T?

I think once you acknowledge the issue, then you can look for solutions.

Yes! Lets all look for SOLUTIONS!

Rex, seek solutions!

Fuck, this is hard work but its the most important work in our lives!

(10-27-2016 03:46 PM)zoom Wrote:  Getting a testosterone test would be my first suggestion.

Fuck yes!

Check the simple things first!

Honestly, instead of starting with predate advice and diet, we should have started with a t-test!

Rex, go get a t-test! This could be a major solution for you!

*****

Also, Rex,

Take a break if you need it..

I know this is heavy shit.

Go at your pace. Don't let us force you..

Please continue to answer these questions with honesty and courage.

You can change your life!
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2016 07:08 PM by Giovonny.)
10-27-2016 06:37 PM
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Post: #145
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Quote:Were you discouraged afterwards or did anything traumatic possibly happen?

In a way, yes. It would probably be better to take it to PM as I'd rather not post publicly about it.

There was some self-inflicted mental anguish that I'm well past now but it did mess me up for a time. And I had religious reasons that were mixed in.

I wouldn't be surprised if my T levels are low.

I think what I really need is to find other situations where I can talk to women in a relaxed atmosphere and have plausible reasons for doing so. The gym is not so good because now I've made things awkward if that girl is there. I can't go doing that in my classes as well.

Maybe I should focus on building up a social life instead. In the hierarchy of things that's probably more important.

I'm terrible at reading IOIs. My brain either doesn't see them or refuses to believe.
10-27-2016 07:41 PM
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RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  
Quote:Were you discouraged afterwards or did anything traumatic possibly happen?

In a way, yes. It would probably be better to take it to PM as I'd rather not post publicly about it.

There was some self-inflicted mental anguish that I'm well past now but it did mess me up for a time. And I had religious reasons that were mixed in.

I wouldn't be surprised if my T levels are low.

I think what I really need is to find other situations where I can talk to women in a relaxed atmosphere and have plausible reasons for doing so. The gym is not so good because now I've made things awkward if that girl is there. I can't go doing that in my classes as well.

Maybe I should focus on building up a social life instead. In the hierarchy of things that's probably more important.

I'm terrible at reading IOIs. My brain either doesn't see them or refuses to believe.

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10-27-2016 08:05 PM
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Giovonny Offline
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Post: #147
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  probably be better to take it to PM

Feel free to PM me at any time.

I would love to talk on the phone also.

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  religious reasons


Interesting.

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I wouldn't be surprised if my T levels are low.

Get them checked.

Could be a factor..

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I think what I really need is to find other situations where I can talk to women in a relaxed atmosphere and have plausible reasons for doing so.

Okay, great!

I love how you expressed exactly what you want & need!

I suspect that you ae actually a decent looking guy who would do well in these situations, especially, after some serious practice.

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  The gym is not so good because now I've made things awkward if that girl is there.

It shouldn't be too awkward.. She clearly likes you..

Maybe, you could frame the situation around the whole "activity partner" thing and just be on friendly terms with her.

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I can't go doing that in my classes as well.

True, you can't aggressively game at the gym but you can practice some light , casual conversation..

I know the gym is not the ideal place to learn game but I feel like you have a natural passion/interest for fitness -- Maybe, you would be comfortable in some type of "hiking group" or "singles workout club" or "group fitness" or something similar.. I don't know.. I'm just trying to think of some ideas that might work..

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  Maybe I should focus on building up a social life instead. In the hierarchy of things that's probably more important.

Yes!

Now, you are talking SOLUTIONS!

I love it!

We gotta find relaxed situations where you can have a low pressure conversation with a decent girl.

(10-27-2016 07:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  I'm terrible at reading IOIs. My brain either doesn't see them or refuses to believe.

You will get better at this.

You will start to believe.

--

Also, if you feel that I am being too eager and aggressive about this.. Let me know, I can chill out if you want me to.. But, unless you stop me, my style is to be very aggressive and confrontational.. I want to go fast not slow!

But, it's totally up to you.

*****

Edit:

(10-27-2016 08:05 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  [Image: 72726893.jpg]

This could be a life changing idea!

Dancing is very, very powerful as method to teach men the language of women and seduction!

Dancing could be the answer! Or, at least a major catalyst towards improvement!

It would benefit in multiple ways as it offers an opportunity to talk to women in a low tress atmosphere, while touching them, having fun, etc.

Please try it. If I lived in Boston, I would force you to do it!

Great fucking call philosophical recovery!!!

Dancing is good for the soul!
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2016 08:47 PM by Giovonny.)
10-27-2016 08:36 PM
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Post: #148
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Gio is an awesome dude -- I gotta meet this guy!

"To be underestimated, is an incredible gift." Rackham
10-27-2016 09:41 PM
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Post: #149
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Rex, I hope you take their advice to heart. You have a couple guys on here that are willing to discuss anything without judgment. Their advice will hopefully help you find whatever it is in life that makes you happy.

Women are just a part of what make us happy in life but for most it's not the defining factor. You are getting honest advice, which might seem harsh at times but shouldn't be taken as negatively.

Lastly, Gio has offered to talk with you on the phone and I hope you do it because I feel it's too easy for you to hide behind a screen and not properly connect with this thread or the individuals offering help.
10-27-2016 09:46 PM
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subterfuge Offline
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Post: #150
RE: First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know?
Rex doesn't seem depressed or sad, though. It' almost reminds me of me in a way. Sometimes people comment on how happy I seem. Like, I'm often singing or humming without realising it, and someone at work will say ''Damn, sub! How come you're always happy?! - someone got laid last night!!''

But I never get laid! So I should be sad! And even though it is very frustrtaing that I can't seduce girls, It is rarely on my mind. Every so often a friend might tell me about a threesome he had last night and i'll think ''Shit! I wish I could do that!'' but then I just forget about it! I think maybe i'm just a retard who is unable to get depressed!! Smile

Maybe it's not as complicated as people seem - i.e he could just be someone who doesn't have game, and is also maybe not in the best shape so he can't just rely on good looks, and as a result, getting girls is just super hard? I'm guessing he's read 'bang' as I'm sure most people here would have

I actually know 2 people in my life who probably haven't got laid in maybe 8 years or so, and are a bit younger than rex, but I guess they could easily be at Rex's 20 year celebate point one day.

In the case of them guys, they both have good jobs. They both have some sort of social life (work nights out with colleagues, pub quiz nights with friends, beers on the weekends with other friends) BUT they just can't get laid.
(This post was last modified: 10-28-2016 04:18 AM by subterfuge.)
10-28-2016 04:09 AM
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